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Monday, February 26, 2007

Approach - A First Lesson

Ok- so we've all seen that guy who has no problem just walking up to a girl or group and start talking… Maybe you are that guy - I am – or want to be more like that guy. How do they do it? There are three things to remember…

First, "it doesn't matter" what anyone thinks of you, You are You! Embrace that! What they think of you is their problem, not yours.

Second, not every approach leads to anything – think baseball. If you hit .300 you're in the Hall of Fame (I'd like to think that anyone is capable of 50%-75% success rate in approaching- but lets take it SLOWLY!).

Third, RELAX – it's really easy to tell if someone is scared out of their mind.

Realize that wherever you go and when ever you are doing it, you may have the opportunity to make a connection. Don't blow it by being unprepared. Think about it, would you want someone walking up to you looking like they just rolled out of bed and smelling like it too? Personal hygiene is important- dress to impress, or at least not to offend or scare away!

One need not go to a pickup joint to meet someone. I know it's trite but think of all the places we see people that interest us- supermarket, coffee shop, mall, bookstore….

Great you see someone interesting… what do you do? Let's assume she is alone – believe it or not it's easier to get somewhere if she's in a group! Here is a simplified version of what you can do:

DO NOT HESITATE! (5 seconds) Walk up to her so she sees you approaching from an angle, or even head on, JUST DON'T SNEAK UP ON HER FROM BEHIND- you're trying to talk, NOT SCARE!

If you have trouble coming up with something to say have some "canned" topics to talk about (ex. Complement her on something – not her chest! Ask for an opinion…) -

Thinking on your feet is more natural, but "canned" conversation can be just fine. If all goes well and it's a place you will be at for sometime, stick around 10 - 20 minutes. Excuse yourself- you have friends with you, something you needed to do… Don't linger until you have nothing to talk about! Leave them wanting more! Wait 15 minutes and go back in… hello again! After 10 more minutes you have both made up your minds if you are interested… If you are, ask her for her number. You get it- GREAT, if not- NO BIG DEAL! DO NOT GET FRUSTRATED! FEELING DEFEATED IS SELF DEFEATING!