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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Our First Anniversary - Thanks guys!!

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

In honor of the first anniversary of Online Dating Edge, here is a Maury Povich paternity test clip. Remember, if your wife gives birth to a child of a different race than y’all, there may be a chance it isn’t your baby…

Thanks for making our column a huge success!

Alexander & Stephen

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, February 21, 2008

CNN says,"Be a savvy consumer when looking for love online"

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

On Valentine's Day, ran an article titled, Be a savvy consumer when looking for love online. My reaction to the article is "WOW, really?" You'll understand this reaction after you read the article for yourself. Could any of this be more obvious? I guess not. It always amazes me when I read about someone being duped in these ways. Let's all finally learn from these mistakes!

"WOW, really?" #1- "They talked on the phone several times a day, everyday. He was engaging. He gave great advice. He was even supposed to visit her parents in Houston. But then, he started asking for money, with promises to pay her back. In two months, Kate wired him a total of $2,000. Not to mention the phone bill she was stuck with for $1,500. To this day she has not seen him -- or her money."

Come on. I mean really. Naive isn't even the word to describe this. Sad thing is she's not alone, complaints like this apparently flood the Better Business Bureau all the time. Approach Dyanamics rule of the day- DON'T LOAN MONEY TO SOMEONE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET! And don't waste your time trying to meet people that live on the other side of the planet. We have covered this before.

"WOW, really?" #2- "Complaint No. 1 [to the BBB] about matchmaking is, well, bad matches. Singles were set up with were smokers, people who weren't religious or lived too far away. In some cases, matches were already married!" Again, come on! Complaining because of imperfect matches? Reality check, nothing is perfect. These matches are provided to you, but in the end it is you who decides if someone is right or wrong for you, not a computer.

Here is a sobering thought about the people running these matchmaking services. One of the WORST dates I have ever had was a prominent New York City matchmaker. She would consistently show up late, had HORRIFIC manners, lacked any consideration for anyone other than herself and once offered to buy a round of drinks (keyword... ONCE), only to call me 'cheap' when I called her out on it after she refused to pay the check. And then she actually sent me an email wondering why I stopped calling her! Yes, folks. Here is an example of someone you are shelling over 2 grand (or more) to find your soulmate. So consider yourself warned - buyer beware.

"WOW, really?" #3- "More than 63 percent of complaints were about accounts that were automatically renewed after a contract or trial period expired." Companies like are notorious for renewing people to long-term subscriptions without at least first giving them a heads-up that their original subscription is about to expire. And their excuse when you call and try to reverse the charge? That you failed to cancel before your original term expired - so now you are 'stuck with the renewal.' If you find yourself in this mess, ask to speak to a supervisor and don't take no for an answer. Be persistent, and they will eventually refund your money.

Or even better, stay on top of your own subscription period and make sure you abide by their terms and conditions. Although their business practices are somewhat shady in this realm (and I don't see the logic in giving their customers a hard time), it is not's responsibility to babysit their customers. Take responsibility.

Let me end this response with a quick comment. There are more than 12 million people currently using online dating. There have been countless success stories, and unfortunately some horror stories as well. Bottom line - be careful and use your common sense.

Happy dating!

Join Free!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Sunday, February 17, 2008

What Can We Learn From Romantic Comedies?

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Yahoo's article The Dos and Don'ts of Romantic Comedies, is an interesting take on things we can learn from romantic comedies, aka chick flicks. Funny thing is a few of these movies I actuall like!

Here's a brief run down:

Four Weddings and a Funeral
Lesson: Don't be afraid to mingle at weddings
Our take: Any party is a good place to meet some one! I'd stay away from picking up some one at a funeral, even though it worked for "Chazz Reinhold" in Wedding Crashers.

Say Anything
Lesson: Do make a grand romantic gesture
Our take: Romance and chivalry are not dead, but chodes should be.

When Harry Met Sally
Lesson: Don't rule out an old friend
Our take: Nearly impossible for girls and guys to be friends!

Bridget Jones' Diary
Lesson: Don't date your boss (even if he's cute)
Our take: See how Yahoo! assumes the boss would be a guy. Shame on them. If your boss is a woman, go for it? Be careful, nothing like a woman scorned.

Lesson: Do go after what you really want
Our take: We think that girl from Hairspray was after our cheeseburger! We fight dirty, just try and take our food.

Lesson: Don't try and outsmart the game
Our take: Having problems? Call Hitch? No way, he wussed out at the end. Call Approach Dynamics!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Lesson: Do try to get along with their family
Our take: All families are at least slightly crazy. Enjoy the fact that someone elses maybe crazier than yours!

The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Lesson: Don't listen to your moronic friends
Our take: Yahoo! is right... but... "God, Friday, when I went home, I really wanted an egg-salad sandwich. And I was just obsessing about it and I was like: 'Man, I'm gonna make one of those.' So-so, Saturday I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and I boiled them all and then I just I-I spent, I don't know, probably three hours... like three and a half hours making you know, the mayonnaise and the onions and paprika and, you know, all the accoutrement. And then by the time I was done I just really didn't feel like eating it."

The Wedding Singer
Lesson: Do look beyond the mullet
Our take: If she's got a mullet, you need to reevaluate your situation. If you are a guy with a mullet, you need to reevaluate your situation. Oh yeh, nothing like a white Michael Jackson glove and Thriller jacket for peacocking (in the 1980s).

You've Got Mail
Lesson: Don't spend so much time on the internet
Our take: Too many people are keyboard jockies! If you are an online dater, don't languish in the email realm. Get out and meet each other ASAP!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Online Dating Website Review:

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing and live approach workshops, click here.

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, now would be a good time to set yourself up on one of the various online dating websites. But with so many out there, which one do you choose?

I have been a long-time subscriber to three online dating sites -, and Each of them have their merits, as well as their drawbacks. Over the next week or so, we will take a peek at each of these three sites.

I was one of the chartering members of this site when it first began in 2006. Since then, they have come a long way in attracting quality women.

How it works:

The overall concept is similar to that of - sans the 200+ question survey (and the prospect of being REJECTED after investing all that time filling it out). You may have seen's recent advertising campaign where they feature people that eHarmony rejected.

But as is the case with eHarmony, does not give you the option of searching for potential matches. Rather, matches are sent directly to your account - the number of which depends on your search criteria and your geographic area. I usually get about 4 per day.

Step 1 - Setting up your profile:

From what I recall, there are a number of questions you have to answer in order to set up your profile (but nowhere near as many as eHarmony). And some of these questions were downright weird (i.e. describe the shape of your hand). But the majority of your profile is the same as it would be on any other dating website. When I joined, I had my profile transferred directly over to Chemistry. I am not sure how it is now.

Step 2 - Choosing a match:

Once you have your matches sent to you by the website, you then have the opportunity to choose whether or not you are interested in that particular person. You do this by moving a sliding ruler to either the left (not interested) or the right (interested).

If you are interested in the other person (or vice-versa), they are then sent an e-mail and given the opportunity to choose whether or not they are interested in you. If they are, it's on! If not, the match is removed from your inbox and you are no longer able to contact that person. Nothing personal, of course.

If there is a match, you then move to the next step which is known as "Relationship Essentials." This is basically a series of short questions in which you indicate your preferences for certain things. You do this by once again moving a sliding scale to the left or to the right. You then send your answers to the other person, and in return, they send you theirs for a compatibility check.

The good thing is that you only have to answer these questions once - as they are saved on the system (you are free to change your answers at any time). However, I don’t think anyone really pays attention to them, unless there is something specific you consider to be a dealbreaker (i.e. "earns a good living").

Once you make it through this section, you then move on to the short answer questions. In the short answer section, each person has the opportunity to ask their counterpart two questions that require a type-written answer. The website gives you the option of creating your own questions, or choosing from a series of pre-written ones that are on the website.

But do yourself a favor and come up with your own - I can't tell you how many compliments I have received from women for not asking the same questions as everyone else. If you need help coming up with some, read our article on "The Use of Qualifying Questions."

Sadly, most people end up using Chemistry’s stock questions. So here is a tip – once you come up with an answer to these pre-written questions, save them as a word document so they can be reused next time! The ones I usually get are, "What are your guilty pleasures?,” and "What is the most important thing you have learned from a past relationship?"

Once you make it through this stage (and assuming both parties are still interested – either side can choose to close the match at any time), you are then free to e-mail each other on the website. At this point you are pretty much on your own.


1. Quality of women – Overall, I have been pretty impressed with the women I have met on I have found them to be well-educated, articulate and more serious about seeking a long-term relationship than their counterparts on other dating sites.

2. It's easy to use – after you make the initial time investment setting up your profile, it is pretty much automated from there on. Even the short answer questions become almost 'cut and paste' after a little while.

3. It 'forces' you to have a 'back and forth' with a woman before you get to the email stage. By the time you get to the e-mail stage, you actually feel as if you almost know the person. This makes it easier to send an e-mail (and subsequently ask for her number), as a little bit of rapport has been developed. I have been doing this sort of thing for years, but for some people that tend to be a little too eager online, this 'forced delay' is a good move.


1. You can't search for matches – You are left at the mercy of the Chemistry gods for your potential dates. Plus, you only get about four matches per day, and there is no way to prevent the website from sending you matches without photos. As you know, profiles without photos are to be automatically deleted.

2. The website also offers users an option to reveal their photographs at a later step, rather than at the time you are initially viewing their profile. This is unacceptable. If they can see your pictures, you should have every right to see theirs. If you run into one of these profiles, just delete it.

3. Customer service leaves a little to be desired. I recently had an issue on the website, and after speaking with customer service, I was promised it would be taken care of. It was not. I had to send two follow-up e-mails before my problem was fixed.


By far, the most important factor in choosing an online dating website is the quality of people you are going to meet. In this respect, has delivered the goods. I highly recommend this site.

And as for my issue with customer service, while annoying, the fact of the matter is that you are not going to have to deal with them very often. But at least they speak English, so you won't have to worry about dealing with "Ricky" from Bangalore.

For a free seven-day trial of, click the link below:

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Should I Buy a Gift for Valentine's Day?

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Bunny Shop Store Kicker

Regardless of whether it's a holiday, birthday, or other "special event", buying a gift for a "significant other" is a tough decision. There are so many situations and circumstances that there is no one answer for these two tough questions: Should I buy a gift for....? What should I buy for....?

Valentine's Day is a tricky "holiday". Most guys just want to get through it, some women despise it, others pine for it. The bottom line when dealing with this holiday is to know how you feel and how your partner feels.

As Valentine's Day is just around the corner, we pose these questions and scenarios, along with some helpful advice:

1. We just started seeing each other and I don't know if I should get something for Valentine's Day:

The first 60-90 days of your interaction with someone you just met can be looked at as a ‘probationary period.’ This is the time where you guys are still feeling each other out, and deciding where you see things going. This is NOT the time to start doing things like buying gifts, taking her on vacation or introducing her to your friends/family.

While most people understand this, an issue arises when an event such as Valentine’s Day or her birthday comes up during this early phase. People want to do the right thing – but have no idea what that is.

I am going to go out on a limb and guess that if you are wondering what to do about Valentine’s Day, then you are actually interested in that person. So let me ask you this – what have been doing up until now to maintain that person’s interest in you? And if what you are doing is working, why would you all of a sudden change that and start buying them things?

If you have only been out with someone a couple of times, it is still too soon to worry about Valentine’s Day. But if you decide to do anything, tread carefully – ESPECIALLY if you have not made up your mind about the other person (or if you don’t know where they stand). You don’t want to scare anybody off or start giving out a ‘relationship’ vibe if you have not yet decided that this is what you want.

Of course, what you eventually wind up doing is up to you. But here are some good rules of thumb to follow:

• Don't be one of those chodes on line at the florist, waiting for your turn to get price-gouged. WAY too soon for that stuff;
• Don't be that tool who buys the big heart box of assorted cheap chocolates from your local drug store. She WILL notice;
• Don't start writing page-long love poems about how we were meant for one another. This is one of the easiest ways you can scare someone off! Remember, you guys just recently met.
• Do keep things simple. You just started seeing him/her. This should not be thought of as an opportunity to try and buy affection – and doing so will hurt you in the long run.

2. We just started dating exclusively and I don't know what to get my boyfriend/girlfriend for Valentine's Day:

When it comes to things like gifts, flowers, etc., I have always been a big proponent of giving them when she least expects it. There is something really special about the ‘no reason, I was just thinking of you’ gift – as long as you are truly giving that gift unconditionally (i.e. without any ulterior motives).

Here is an example. Think of that situation where a guy walks up to a complete stranger in a bar and the first words out of his mouth are, “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” Can someone be any more of a tool?

Now think of the scenario where a guy has been talking to a woman he just met for a little while, and then says to her, “Hey, I am going to get a drink – what do you want?”

In both situations, the guy buys the woman a drink. But the first guy clearly has an agenda, and is hoping that by ‘buying’ her something, he will get something in return (an opportunity to speak with her). The second guy, however, is coming from a frame where he has already been interacting with her and is not expecting anything in return for his gesture. He really just wants her to have a drink. It’s a subtle difference, but a significant one.

The same rule applies to gifts. You should be giving your girlfriend/boyfriend gifts and/or flowers because you WANT to, not because some dildo at Hallmark has guilt-tripped you into it. Plus, if you need something like a holiday to get you to do something nice for your significant other, you have bigger issues than worrying about what you are going to buy.

So if you guys have just become exclusive, first off congrats! Make sure you keep doing what you have been doing up until now and don’t turn into a wussbag. But as for Valentine’s Day, it’s time to get creative!

If you guys have been together for less than, say, 5-6 months, it is still too soon to start buying her expensive gifts. But you are NOT off the hook – not by a long shot.

As with everything else we talk about, you want to make sure you are NOT doing the same things everyone else does. She is going to go into work the next day and hear the same thing over and over from her co-workers, "he got me flowers, took me to dinner and got me a card." Boring! Be the guy that took her to a concert, ice skating or for a romantic drive/walk. Can you cook? AWESOME! Make her dinner (plus she is already back at your place!).

Now as far as a gift, I would definitely get her something. But again, make sure it is something you have put a lot of thought and creativity into. Price doesn’t matter (and if it does, you know what you need to do…). Is she a bookworm? Get her something from Amazon. Is she into music? Burn her a mix CD or pick up a box set of her favorite band. For some more ideas, use our Amazon search box below:

The bottom line is to make sure that the night is all about her. Just like some of those other 'greeting-card holidays,' suck it up and deal with it. But make it more about spending time with her and less about what day it happens to be.

3. We have been dating (or married) for awhile and I don't know what to get my boyfriend/girlfriend for Valentine's Day:

By this point you know whether you are in the, "I hate Valentine's Day" camp (congratulations) or in the, "How sweet, a day when we can express our love for one another" scenario (I have felt your pain). Either way, enjoy your time together. Worst case scenario? You suck it up for one day and your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife is made happy.

Here are some gift ideas:

Romatic: Sounds cliche, but sometimes cliches are nice, a good bottle of wine, flowers, delicious home cooked food, sweet dessert, and imagination....

Sexy: Try out these two well known stores. You'll find something you both love!
Playboy Store Valentine's Day Sale Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.

For him- GPS Device, Kindel, watch, or iPod.
For her - Retro gift basket, Jewelry Box, spa gift certificate

4. I am single again this Valentine’s Day and want to meet someone already:

First off, congratulations! Making the decision to finally do something about it is the first step.

So what to do? For starters, perhaps it's time to join a online dating site. We can certainly help you with that. Stay tuned over the next couple of days, as we will be reviewing some of the more popular dating sites out there.

Or if you are already a member of an online dating website, it's time to do some work on your profile and/or your photos. For assistance with writing a captivating online dating profile that will have people contacting YOU, click here.

And for you guys out there, if you are stuggling with women (either online or in person) and haven't already picked up a copy of David Deangelo's book, 'Double Your Dating,' you can grab your copy by clicking the link below. This book was the starting point for literally THOUSANDS of guys who have improved their dating skills with women. Present company included...

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics