For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.
Now available from Online Dating Edge...

THE PROCESS: HOW TO GO FROM A FIRST CONTACT WITH A WOMAN TO AN IN-PERSON FIRST MEETING






Sunday, November 29, 2009

Freakonomics and Online Dating

There was finally a chance for me to read a book "everyone" was talking about a couple of years ago. I just read Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. The only reason I bring this up is there were a few pages about online dating. Almost everything he discusses, we have posted on our site at one time or another.

Here's a rundown of what he discussed:

-Ali Hortacsu, Gunter J. Hitsch, and Dan Ariely studied the data from 30,000 people on a mainstream dating site. A major finding was that they were, "a lot richer, taller, skinnie, and better-looking than average," based on what they wrote about themselves.

-70% of women and 67% of men claimed "above average" looks.... Ever been to the DMV? Are 70% of people even remotely good looking?

-28% of women said they were blond, FAR ABOVE THE NATIONAL AVERAGE! "Dyeing, Lying, or both?"

-8% of men actually were upfront and said they were married. Only 9 of the over 500 married men in the study actually posted a picture.


-The "most certain" way to fail at online dating is not posting a picture. A man that has no picture receives, on average, 1/4th the volume as a man that does; a woman sans photo receives 1/6th the responses.


-"A low-income, poorly educated, un-happily employed, not-very-attractive, slightly overweight, and balding man who posts his photo stands a better chance of gleaning some emails than a man who says he makes $200,000 and is deadly handsome but doesn't post a photo."

-Men who say they want a long-term relationship do better than those loooking for short-term choices.

-Women that say they want something fleeting, do better than those looking long-term.


-For women, a man's income is very important. For men, a woman's income to respose is a normal curve- men don't want women that make very little or a lot.


-Women avoid laborers, actors, and students. Women prefer military men, police, firemen, lawyers, and financial executives.

-Men are looking for artists, students, musicians, veterinarians... they avoid secretaries and women in military/ law enforcement.


-What physical traits are a disadvantage for men? Being short, red hair, curly hair, & balding (shaved head is okay). Being somewhat overweight is okay. Sucks if you are balding with curly red hair!

-What physical traits are a disadvantage for women? Being overweight and having salt and pepper hair. Blond hair is very good.

On a side note, if you liked this book, check out More Sex is Safer Sex - The Unconventional Wisdom of Economics, by Steven E. Landsburg.


Happy dating!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

How about a date?

Here's a funny little video by Hoops and YoYo (not sure who they are?) about asking someone out on a date. The video made us chuckle, so we figured we'd share!

What can we learn from this?
Don't be that desparate guy, begging for a date.
Dinner and a movie is a crappy date idea. Why? Aren't you supposed to get to know someone on a date? Not sit silently staring at a screen.


Out of curiosity- anyone ever try singing to a girl to ask her out? How did it turn out? Ladies, any thoughts?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Elizabeth Lambert, The Female Soccer Hooligan

Did you hear about New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert and her actions on the soccer field in a match against BYU? We just heard about it and checked out the video of her hair pulling, punching, elbowing and kicking! Wow. Nice job Elizabeth. Apparently she has apologized for her actions. If you have not seen the video, it is embedded below. What does this have to do with dating? Well, we have also embedded a great Elizabeth Lambert's Dating Video. Nice job http://www.tauntr.com/





Monday, October 12, 2009

Pepsi's AMP "Before You Score" App

So it seems Pepsi has decided to piss some women off by launching an iPhone app that breaks women down into 24 types and provides pickup lines to try on them. Check out the video below for a complete breakdown of what the app does. If you search twitter you'll see how many women are pissed about this! Let's face it, it's supposed to be funny and it's targeted at guys age <18-25. It's a joke. Why are we so hyper sensitive? It seems that Pepsi has accomplished it's goal, getting people to talk about their product!

Here is the YouTube clip: AMP Up Before You Score iPhone app



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge

Top 10 things to remember about online dating:

Order a copy of our book, 'The Process - How to go from a First Contact to a First Meeting with a woman you met online', by on the "buy now" button below.









Top 10 things to remember about online dating:


1. No one is perfect.
2. Your profile should honestly describe who you are.
3. No one looks exactly like their picture.
4. Learn from your mistakes.
5. Have goals and a plan to achieve them.
6. Know what you want in a person and from a relationship.
7. Remember it takes two to tango.
8. Enter a relationship with a clean slate, don't let the actions of others poison a new relationship. Depending on past problems this maybe difficult and should not be confused with learning from your mistakes.
9. Don't give up. Nothing worth while is easy.
10. No one is perfect. We said that twice, it's that important.


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009
All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Halloween Commentary and Top Costumes of 2009

Order a copy of our book, 'The Process - How to go from a First Contact to a First Meeting with a woman you met online', by on the "buy now" button below.








"What's to like about Halloween?" An older gentleman was bitching to me about how he hates Halloween while we were waiting on line at a grocery store. I guess he was too old to remember how much fun it was to go trick-or-treating as a kid, and too old to remember a good Halloween party as a young adult!


I got home and started to think about Halloween and how it has changed over the years. Has Halloween recently become an excuse for some girls to dress like street walkers? I won't complain! Hell, (no pun intended) it's a blast. But is this a relatively new (last 5-10 years)phenomenon or has it always been this way?


Here's our list of the Top 5 Sexiest Halloween Costumes for 2009:

5. School Girl or Bunny - A Halloween sexy standard.


4. Naughty Nurse - Another typical sexy costume


3. Sexy Secretary -can buy the costume below, or just unbutton the top few buttons of a nice blouse, put your hair up, add some sexy glasses, and bingo! This could also be the Sexy Teacher look with a couple of accessories.
2. A Sexy Superhero- Wonder Woman, Super Girl, Mystique, Ghost Buster



1. Beach Volleyball Player (Brazilian gets you bonus points!)










**Bonus List: Some will go for the "look like a celebrity":

1. Kim, Kourtney, or Klohe (if you are a guy dressing as a woman) Kardashian

2. One of the new or old "Girls Next Door"

3. Michael Jackson (guys or girls, black or white!)

4. Lady Gaga -male genitalia optional

5. Kate Gosselin - Attitude Necessary!

6. Billy Mays - Cocaine optional





Not Again! Will anyone really go this so "last year" route?

1. Sarah Palin

2. Jessica Simpson

3. Britney Spears

4. Paris Hilton



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009
All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Top 5 traits of a successful online dater:

Top 5 traits of a successful online dater:

1. He knows what type of relationship he wants.
2. He knows the type of woman he wants.
3. He has a plan. A great profile, places to go, things to do, etc.
4. He has learned from his mistakes.
5. He has an open mind. Sure you know what you are looking for, but are you going to realize that NO ONE is perfect and give the other person a chance?

If you have these traits, you are that much closer to finding that someone special!

Happy dating!


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009
All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge

TWITTER - DatingAdvisors

Thank you for all of your support over the years. We are proud to announce that we have officially launched our Twitter account.

You can find us at: www.twitter.com/DatingAdvisors


We will be tweeting dating tips and advice, as well as offering discounts and specials on our various services (including online dating profile critiques and consultations).



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009
All rights reserved Online Dating Edge

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Some Good Material for Your Online Dating Profiles

I found this one on my Facebook page. It contains a lot of really good material you can use in your profile headlines, essays and first emails!

And of course, if you want us to take a peek at your profile and let you know what we think, you can order a profile critique here.

***EDITOR'S NOTE - I did not write this (although I kinda wish I did). If anyone knows who the original author is, please let me know so I can properly credit them. Thanks!


-----
1. Usually, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is
that I can't wait for them to finish their story so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
that you're wrong.

3. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks
when they've invented the lighter?

4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction
from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch
or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that
no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.

5. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

6. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

7. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just
figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

8. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

9. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw
it.

10. think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

11. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

12. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

13. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

14. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

15. Was learning cursive really necessary?

16. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to
say".

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

18. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I
hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

21. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

22. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

23. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

24. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

25. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

26. I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to
be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight
woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

27. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

28. Bad decisions make good stories.

29. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

30. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

31. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....

32. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

33. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection.

34. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

35. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

36. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

37. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if
I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only
a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still
be friends after this?'

38. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

39. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dangit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

40. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

41. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet
stalking.

42. Why is a school zone 40 kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
for pedophiles...

43. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

44. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

45. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

46. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

47. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I
find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the
fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

48. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but
I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

49. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

50. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

51. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

52. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone
at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and
then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require
such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's
nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard.

-----
Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge

Order a copy of our book, 'The Process - How to go from a First Contact to a First Meeting with a woman you met online', by on the "buy now" button below.






Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Washington Post: A/C Setting Can Push Couples to Boiling Point

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Stephen and Alex:
I know your site is about "online dating" but felt the need to point your attention to an article in today's (August 2, 2008) Washington Post about the differece between men and and women with regards to air conditioning. Seems like an interesting relationship issue you may want to discuss on your site.
Be well.
Isiah


Thanks Isiah! We know many people that complain, "He makes it too cold/She makes it too warm." It's interesting that men have a greater tolerance for cold, and that women have a lower ratio of body mass to surface area, less muscle mass and a slower resting metabolism, all of which account for the temperature disparity. But what we found most interesting about the article is what Diane Sollee, head of the Washington-based Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education said:

Happily married couples, the ones who make it all the way to the rocking chairs, argue pretty much nonstop about an average of 10 "irreconcilable differences," Sollee said. "Couples are always going to disagree about some things, always. The important thing is to talk about them with love and respect. In marriage communication, we have to teach couples to talk to each other, even when they disagree, in a way that will make them want to make love that night."

Seems like some sage words of wisdom!

Thanks again Isiah, for calling our attention to this article. Read A/C Setting Can Push Couples to Boiling Point by Steve Hendrix by clicking here.


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, July 30, 2009

How should I act on a first date?

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Guys, how should I act on a first date? Rob

Wow, you really thought about the question and gave us a lot to work with! We've covered a first meeting before, but we'll post it again.

Keep the conversation light and funny. No heavy topics, no complaints, no insults.

Topics to avoid at all costs - Physical ailments, rape or violence, Star Trek, anything self-deprecating, anything overtly sexual, your arrest record, Dungeons and Dragons, ex-girlfriends, that time that you got drunk and wet yourself, religion, politics, marriage, children.

However, feel free to tease her a little. Once she says something you disagree with, playfully give her that "You are messing up your chances with me" look. Another line I like to use is "and you were doing SO well..." Don't be arrogant or condescending.

Stare at her face, NOT at her chest.

Do not lean into her. Lean back and make her come towards you. Also, do not face her directly when talking. Have her turn her body towards you.

Always pay for the first meeting. While you should never take her up on her feeble "how much do I owe you" routine, DO take notice if she fails to offer. And for god sakes, DON’T USE A COUPON.

No more than ONE compliment on the first meeting. And try to be more creative than, "You’re so hot."

DO NOT make plans for another date while out on this one. Leave her wondering. The key word here is CHALLENGE.

Be sure you are the one who ends the date first. Try to end it on a high note - leave her wanting more!

BOTTOM LINE:
BE RESPECFTUL AND COURTEOUS. BE YOURSELF. HAVE FUN.


Happy dating.

Now had you asked "How should I treat a woman?" We may have responded with this funny video from YouTube.

The 9 Ways To Treat A Woman



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Marriage-Maker Claims Are Tied in Knots -WSJ

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Carl "The Numbers Guy" Bialik's article in today's (July 29, 2009) Wall Street Journal calls out online dating sites such as eHarmony and Match.com for their advertised claims of members finding love and marriage. For example in television and online ads, eHarmony claims that 2% of American marriages last year were traced to eHarmony. In a Match.com ad they claim that they are responsible for "more marriages than any other site." The founder of Plenty of Fish claims 2,000 self reported successes and possibly 100,000 marriages because of it's free site. The numbers go on and on. Check out the article for yourself.

Although one should never believe everything they hear in an ad, there have been many successes with online dating. The actual numbers though are unclear. Bottom line, caveate emptor. Should you choose online dating, present yourself in the best light in order to maximize your chances of success. If you need help, we're here. Happy dating!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Woman Pours Boiling Water on Husband's Genitals for Cheating

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

I just came across a disturbing article in today's New York Post. You can check it out here: Great Balls Afire!

So what can we learn from this woman (as well as from our friend Steve McNair)?
1. Don't cheat on your wife; and
2. Stay away from CRAZY women!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

10 Commandments of Online Dating

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Follow these and you'll be all set!

POSITIVE COMMANDMENTS:
1. Always know what you are looking for in a woman;
2. If you determine that a particular woman is NOT what you are looking for, move on*;
3. Always make sure you are different than any other guy online (in a positive way);
4. Always present yourself in your best light;
5. Always get off the computer, and into an in-person meeting ASAP.

NEGATIVE COMMANDMENTS:
6. Never lie or misrepresent yourself anywhere in your profile;
7. Never copy all or part of someone else’s dating profile;
8. Never put salary information or anything else in your profile that hints that you have (or don’t have) money;
9. Never have spelling and/or grammar errors anywhere in your profile;
10. Never wait more than two emails to ask a woman for her phone number.

*Realize that NO ONE is perfect, not even you! That being said, move on and don't waste time (yours or her's) if you are unhappy.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Friday, July 17, 2009

Dating and Facebook

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

There are basically two ways that Facebook can be used to find a date. The most commonly used method is to use it as a supplement to a traditional online dating site like JDate or Match.com. This is accomplished by using Facebook or other social networking sites to increase or escalate your connection with an individual by adding them to your friends list. The second is to use it as an online dating tool by joining interest groups and/or meeting friends of friends.

But please take caution when using Facebook to escalate your connections with someone you just met. Although we don't recommend immediately adding a potential mate to your friends list, it nonetheless seems to be more and more frequently done. We have written in the past about insuring that your profile is congruent with who you are - that is to say it accurately reflects the person you are. Your Facebook account should do the same.

An article in the July 14, 2009 Financial Times, If granny would disapprove, don't put it on the net, by Rhymer Rigby, elucidated two great points. The first one is something we all know, but many of us don't seem to take into account - what is posted on Facebook, Linkedin, Myspace, Twitter or any other social networking site is there for the world to see. Yes there are privacy settings, but one should also abide by the precautionary principle: If you aren't proud of it, don't post it.

The second point, that 'you are who your profile says you are' was made in reference to going on a job interview. However, the following quote is also paramount for online daters: "your profile on Facebook should be broadly the same as the person you present at an interview." Be who your profile says you are. No matter what your present situation is, there are many ways of presenting yourself in your best light, and that is what Online Dating Edge is all about.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Lying or Misrepresenting Yourself in Your Online Dating Profile

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

This is the absolute WORST thing you can do in your profile. If you are looking to develop a meaningful relationship with someone, why in the world would you want to start things off with a material misrepresentation?

Here are some of the most common ways people misrepresent themselves online:
• A 36 year old woman says that she is 32;
• A married guy says he is single;
• A heavy-set woman describes her body-type as ‘petite’ (which by the way, is NOT acceptable just because you happen to be 5’1);
• A teacher puts down ‘physician’ as his occupation;
• A bald guy posts photos from five years ago, when he had a full head of hair (or is wearing a baseball hat in all of his pictures);
• A woman deliberately posts photos of herself only from the neck up in an attempt to conceal her true ‘body-type’;
• A guy copies someone else’s profile and represents it as his own.

I would like to point out one thing here. There is a fine line between lying in your profile and ‘embellishing’ a bit. So if you find out that someone made themselves an inch taller, 10 pounds (NO MORE!) lighter or put their location as Manhattan when they really live right across the river, you really can’t complain too much. However, this becomes a problem when the ‘misrepresentation’ is material – meaning that it is a significant change from reality.

The bottom line is this – YOU ARE GOING TO GET CAUGHT. You are who you are, and if you are not happy with that, you need to change that aspect of yourself. But in the meantime, be honest. It is not fair to waste other people’s time and resources because you lied to them. And look at it this way – you are also wasting your own time (and self-respect), because once they find out you are a fraud, they are going to drop you anyway.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Monday, July 13, 2009

Texting and Email to Setup a Date? Grow up!

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Guys am I being a wuss? I have gone out with this girl a couple of times and she only emails me or texts me. I'm all for email and texting, but do you think it's weird that she never calls or answers her phone? -Evan in Orlando

Evan, I'm sorry. It seems like you've found someone too busy to pick up a phone or have the common courtesy to have a conversation on the phone. Email should be used when first corresponding to a potential date and texting for quick messages. No one likes to be treated as unimportant and relegated to business like emails. Perhaps she is just immature and does not realize that this can come across as rude and selfish; either way tread carefully. No use wasting your time on a selfish or immature individual.

Some quick advise to our readers out there. Treat people with respect. If you are uninterested, move on. Otherwise, take the time to make a call.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Jon and Kate Gosselin Match.com Spoof

The guys and gals over at www.funnyordie.com have done it again! Here are the spoof match.com ads they put out with Jon and Kate Gosselin from "Jon and Kate Plus Eight"-
Unfortunately (or fortunately) neither one of us watched this show, but we laughed anyway.







Hope you get a laugh!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Advice?

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Hi guys. I saw you speak in Boston some time ago and was wondering if you could take everything you spoke about and try to give your best sentence or two of advice about online dating? -Boston Bean

That's a great question. We both took a stab at this and here's what we came up with.

Alexander Stone: Easy. #1- Make sure you pick the right person.
#2- Don't screw it up.

Stephen David: KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Know the kind of person you are looking for and the type of relationship you want.

You asked for a "sentence or two" and that's what you get Mr. Bean, if that is your real name!?

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Nobody's Perfect

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Why can't I find the perfect guy? Many of my friends seem blissfully married to "the perfect guy." Why can't I find mine? Why do I always pick a loser? There's always something that they do that screws things up! -Janine

First and formost the key word in your second sentence is "seem". NO relationship is perfect. There are always ups and downs. You also seem very negative describing past boyfriends as "loser[s]" and saying "they... screw things up." Dont you take any responsibility for broken relationships? Not every guy out there is a loser and perhps you are being too hard on some of them.

Here's a little advice:
1. Nobody is perfect.
2. Think positive thoughts and more positive things will happen.
3. A relationship takes work- by both parties!

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Sunday, May 10, 2009

He ordered what for dinner?

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Hi guys. I feel weird asking this, but would you ever order a salad on a first date? Not a salad with your meal, but a salad as your meal (dinner)? Sure it had some chicken, but it was a salad. I had a first date with a guy and he had a salad. I felt weird ordering the fish dish I was eyeballing, so I ordered a salad as well. I was starving after dinner. This has been bothering me since last week! He called yesterday and I haven't called back. Am I wrong to be turned off?
-Confused in NY

Here are our thoughts... Why order salad?
1. He's being cheap;
2. He's health conscious;
2. He's gay (doubt it, but we think you were implying it);
3. He likes salad.

If you really liked him, you wouldn't care what he ordered. The fact that you are complaining about being hungry seems to tell me all I need to know about that encounter.
You're not into the guy, move on.

How to avoid this type of situation:
1. Don't order salad on a date;
2. DON'T GO TO DINNER ON A FIRST DATE!

Also, this seems eerily similar to a Seinfeld episode...

ELAINE: I mean, she thought it was kind of strange to just order a salad. . . . You know. . . . For a man.

JERRY: What are you saying? . . . Salad! What was I thinking? Women don't respect salad eaters.

ELAINE: You got that right.

Singlesnet Inc.


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Sunday, April 5, 2009

"I'm Tired of Games"

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

"I'm tired of games!"
"Why do guys always have to play games!"
"Why do women always play games."
"Do we really have to play games?"
The above are all questions we have received. We think it's time to address them!

Here's our question to you- What exactly constitutes a "game"?
Is playing "hard to get" a game? Is a girl chatting/flirting with another guy in front of her date a game? Is waiting a few days to call someone a game?

Some websites will say men/women play games because they are insecure. Other sites will say it's "men being men" (Whatever that means?). Others proclaim that they are not games, but tests. But then again... isn't life one big test?

It makes us uneasy when we see a woman’s dating profile which contains some version of ‘I’m tired of games.’ First off, why is anyone mentioning games in the first place? Nice girls with no agendas do not have such words in their vocabulary.

We always sense some deep-rooted issues with men whenever we see a woman mentioning games from the get-go. Someone who is ‘sick of games’ has been burned (and apparently is not over it yet) and is letting you know ahead of time they are out on the warpath. Heed their warning and stay away - for the games have just begun!

So let’s look at some scenarios and see what we come up with:

1. A woman that is obviously flirting (not just talking) with another guy in front of their date:

Some may interpret this as a ‘game’ to test whether your date has a jealousy streak. However, this particular situation is FAR more than that. Anyone who would do something like that on a date has absolutely no manners/class, and needs to be dropped immediately – as in, right then and there.

How to handle it – This is a lose/lose situation. The only way to properly ‘pass’ this test is to walk away. To put up with this sort of thing will cause the girl to lose even more respect for you (assuming she still has any left), and will subject you to even more bad behavior from then on. Like we said, it’s lose/lose. So keep your self-respect and cut your losses.

2. Waiting a couple of days to call someone:

Let's make something clear. If the woman is not interested in you, it doesn’t matter if you call her 10 minutes or 10 days after your date. She will not think you are playing games in either scenario - she just doesn't care. So the only time you will be accused of ‘playing games’ is when she actually likes you.

That being the case, let’s look at what some women do while waiting for a guy she likes to call her back.

Day 1 – Although she is thinking about how great a time she had with you the night before, part of her is also (subconsciously) hoping you are not too eager and call her too soon telling her how much you enjoyed your time out with her. You get points for being patient here.

Day 2 – “I wonder what he is up to right now. Does he like me? I certainly hope so. I should send him a quick text message and say hi. Wait, no. Then I will look too eager. I hope he calls.”

Day 3 – “Ok, he saw Swingers and is probably following the ‘3-day rule.’ Kind of cheesy, but I DO like him and hope I hear from him soon. You know, I have been thinking about him quite a bit lately. I REALLY hope he likes me.”

Day 4 – “Uh oh. Does he like me? Was it my shirt? My hair? Did I smell? Am I too fat? I should call him. Or email him. But then he might write back and reject me, and I’m not sure I can handle that. Maybe he is busy. Or with another woman? No, he is just busy. I’m sure he’ll call.”

She has also spoken to just about ever one of her girlfriends by this point, who have told her that ‘he’s just not that into you’ and she should move on. But the whole time she is talking and thinking about you, her interest level in you is skyrocketing.

Day 5 – She absolutely climbing the walls at this point and starts telling herself that she is moving on unless she hears from you by the end of the day. Put her out of misery and call her already!

How to handle this – No matter when you call, the way you handle it is going to determine whether she will be happy to hear from you or if you are going to be seen as a game-playing jerk. You NEED to make sure that whenever you call, you give the impression (whether true or not) that you have been busy living your life and this was your first chance to call her.

If you give off the vibe that you waited three days to call solely for the purpose of waiting three days to call, then you will be branded a jackass. And rightfully so. Bottom line - call when you'd like and go with your gut! And if she happens to contact you in the interim, bingo! Call her back within 24 hours.

But is this a game?

If done for the right reasons (you really like her and are trying to pace yourselves for the benefit of a potential long-term relationship), feel free to call it a ‘game’ or anything else you want. It is ok, and actually a prudent thing to do.

But if you are doing it solely to mess with her head and have no real interest in the girl, then it is surely a ‘game,’ and you are a dick for playing it.

What do you think?
Any games you'd like discussed?

Singlesnet Inc.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Monday, March 2, 2009

Finging Love Online... AT 80!

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Chemistry.com

On a snowy day in the North East, with the Dow now below 6900, I thought a nice heart warming post was due! Here's the link to a video from ABC News about two individuals "Finding Online Love at 80."

She's 85, he's 87 - think she's an aging cougar that couldn't find an available 80 year old? Or maybe a gold digger going after his pension? They met online 4 months ago and are now married. I guess when you pass the statistical limits of survivorship you move quickly (at least with relationships). By the way, she listed one of her turn ons as skinny dipping? As Sideshow Bob once said, "Eeeeughheeuuew."

Singlesnet Inc.

All kidding aside, it's nice to know two people found happiness. Now I have to find a way to geth the image of an 85 year old skinny dipping out of my head.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

The Economy Sucks- So What?

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

It's the front page of the paper every day. New York Times, LA Times, Washington Post, and that paper you get free in hotels, USA Today, all lament what most of us realized long ago- the economy sucks. As I write this the Dow has broken below 7,000! Most of us know someone that's been given the ax. Maybe you've gotten the pink slip? For many people this is a very difficult time and we empathise with you! But does this mean the world is over? Absolutely not! Far too often people wallow in misery and don't take this crisis as an opportunity to evolve.

As this is a dating site let's focus on that area. If you're available and looking for someone special, don't sit back and let precious time pass you by just because the economy sucks. If you lost your job it doesn't mean you lost your life. Take a look around, read the papers, check out the finance section of yahoo... you're NOT alone. Think of if as some extra time to find that special someone. Get out there and have some fun! If you are nervous about spending money on a dating site, try a free one, or take advantage of a free trial.

Happy Dating!

Singlesnet Inc.


Chemistry.com


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Friday, January 30, 2009

Some More Fake Jobs

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

A little humor at the end of a LONG week!

Here are 5 more 'fake jobs' you can try on women that ask that ever-so-inappropriate 'What do you do?' question:

1. Professional gefilte fisherman;

2. World's tallest midget;

3. Elbow model;

4. Used idol salesman;

and if she is REALLY pushy...

5. I fill creme donuts.

Enjoy!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Questions to Avoid When Talking to a Guy

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Here are four questions you should never ask a guy according to Cosmopolitan.com:
1. Questions comparing yourself to the ex.
2. Do you love me?
3. Can I borrow money?
4. Are you cheating on me?

All these questions should be seen as taboo, unless you are in a committed relationship, but there are others that should never be asked.

Take for instance the ubiquitous "Does this (insert article of clothing here) make me look fat?" Talk about a loaded question. If we say "yes," then we are open for attack. Let's be honest, if you are asking that question, you are fat (think treadmill), or you have low self esteem (stop being a door mat- no one wants a long term relationship with a door mat).

Another question, that would boarder on insensitive: "Was your hairline always so far back?"

Here's another line to shy away from, "Is it in?" No need to explain that one.

If you needed this advice, you need more help than you thought!
Happy Dating!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Are women that only have head-shots in their online dating profiles hiding something big?

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Alexander and Stephen,

I have been talking with this girl I met online for a little while, and we are just about at that point where it is time to meet. She is definitely a nice girl, and she seems to have a great personality (and I can tell she is definitely into me!). However, I am a bit concerned about how she is going to look. Her dating profile has three pictures, but they only show her face (there is one which would be a full body shot, but she is standing behind three of her friends). Also, she described her body type as ‘Average/Medium Build.’ Without sounding insensitive, I don’t want to waste my time meeting her if she is overweight. Do I have a valid reason to be concerned? Thanks guys, and keep up the great work!

Stan

********OUR COMMENTS********

Yes.

Your little vixen is probably not so little after all. In fact, my guess is that you would not have taken the time to write us if you didn’t already know this. But read on, grasshopper…

At the outset, I should point out that I have nothing against women that may find themselves, let's just say, 'a bit out of shape.' My issue here is with those that choose to conceal that fact (i.e. by including only head shots, standing in front of a tractor, etc.), and do so to the point where their well-meaning date arrives at their First Meeting only to discover that they have been misled as to the other person's physical appearance. And yes, guys are just as guilty of this as women - and deserve the same level of admonishment.

Anyone who has ever tried online dating has been burned by this at some point. The biggest complaint I usually get from women is that guys don’t look like their pictures (i.e. their profile pictures were taken several years earlier or when they were 30 pounds lighter or when they had a full head of hair). If you are a guy and you have any of these kind of photos in your profile, shame on you! Remove them IMMEDIATELY.

But the biggest complaint I get from guys, Stan, is about the girl that only has face-shots in her profile, and then shows up for a First Meeting needing a second chair (for herself). Hey Beavis, I said face-shots… hehehehhe.

If any of you guys have ever wondered WHY a woman would only include head shots in her profile, I have your answer. Check out the 1990 Wilson Phillips video, ‘Impulsive.’ My favorite thing about this video is how BLATANT the directors were in trying to conceal the ‘festive plumpness’ of Ms. Carnie Wilson.



Just remember the images from this video the next time you are on Match.com or JDate and see some girl standing behind a grand piano, nine of her closest friends or a medium-sized sports arena – do that, and you’ll never have to worry about running into this type of problem again.

Women are FAR more in tune to issues regarding physical appearance than most men. So rest assured, if she is concealing most of her body in a photo she is featuring on an online dating site, there is probably a good reason for it. If you ever find yourself wondering about someone based upon her lack of a full-body picture, it is a safe bet that you may be on to something.

But if you really MUST get an answer before deciding whether to meet her, you can always shoot her an email along the lines of, “the last time I agreed to meet someone online that only had pictures of her head, she turned out to just be a talking head! [which probably explains why she wasn’t down for my offer to go ice skating] Can you please send me some full-body shots so I can verify that you have all your extremities before we meet?” But again, I would only do this as an absolute LAST resort.

One final way to confirm your suspicions is to check the ‘body type’ description on her profile. Here is some girl code for what her answers actually mean:

Voluptuous = Overweight

Proportional = NOT proportional = Overweight

Cuddly = Overweight

Average/Medium Build = Overweight, UNLESS her pictures clearly suggest otherwise. In which case she actually SCORES points for being modest.

Modelesque = High-maintenance headcase. Stay away.

Lean/Slender, Athletic/Fit, Petite = You should be ok here. In fact, any woman that selects one of these options without any legitimate basis for doing so is a FRAUD. Feel free to immediately cut off a meeting if you encounter this type of situation – this is a sign of much bigger (no pun intended) problems down the road.

Best of luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics