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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Online Dating - Getting Her Phone Number

Let’s face it, the purpose of jumping through all those hoops online is to meet someone. This isn’t going to happen until you get her off the website and meet her in person. In order to do that, you need to get her contact info (i.e. her phone number).

You want to get to an in-person meeting ASAP. Remember, none of those back and forth emails and phone calls mean ANYTHING until you meet in person. I think each of us can recall a time where we thought we had found our soulmate online, only to be extremely disappointed upon actually meeting them (mine didn’t even take her jacket off)!

When to ask for the number:

Here is the rule. If she was the one who originally initiated contact, ask for it on your SECOND email. If you initiated contact, do it on the THIRD. Enough rapport should have developed by this point that she should have no problem giving you the digits.

How to ask for the number:

Easy. "What’s your number?" DO NOT say "Can I call you sometime?" WEAK. Be direct. Be decisive.

Take a little bit of time putting together a brief paragraph asking for her number. The good news is that you can save it as a template and use it over and over again (just remember to change her name, Skippy). What you want to convey (in your own writing style) is essentially, ‘You seem pretty cool. Let’s get off this site and meet for a drink, like normal people, and see what happens.’ I also like to tease them a little and promise that I will only call 15 times a day. This is a nice touch, but make sure it is CLEAR you are kidding. Capice?

Ok, I sent the email. Now what?

Wait for her response. If she gives you her number, great! Call her within 1-2 days and set up a meeting for drinks.

If she doesn’t give it to you, cease all contact with her IMMEDIATELY and move on. Also, please note that any response which does not contain the physical digits themselves is a NO. ‘I don’t have a phone,’ ‘Let’s stay on email,’ or ‘How about you give me YOUR number’ are all BS. What you have there is a control freak, a game player or (most likely) a woman with low interest in you. Either way, any further communication with her is a waste of your time.

Now go get some digits!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - ApproachDynamics/Online Dating Edge

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