The Rules of Text Messaging

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I LOVE text messaging. In fact, I had to upgrade my plan last month after exceeding my 1000 message limit. But I digress...

I see text messages as a hybrid between an email and an IM. Texts have the same effect as an IM in that it is an ‘instant’ message, but the rules of email apply in that you are not expected to reply right away. Hence, you get an opportunity to THINK before you write back.

Text messages (a.k.a. SMS messages) are also great if you don’t have time to chat on the phone or if you are in a place that is not conducive for a conversation (a noisy bar or club, the subway or a library come to mind).

While texts can also be used for administrative matters (‘I’ll be there at 8', 'Wanna grab lunch?’ or 'I’m on my way’), they are REALLY good for teasing and flirting with women. Of course, how far you want to push the envelope will depend on the person.

Openers:

Again, it is always best to come up with your own material. But here are a few that I have used in the past with good success. Of course, you will want to make sure you use these at the right times:

"What sort of mischief are you getting yourself into?"

"What are you wearing?" And then follow up with, "What else?" Use your imagination from there...

"Favorite Muppet... and WHY?"

"Hey Dork" or "Hey Punk"

"Wanna wrestle?"

"Guess what..." [and then don’t respond when she replies with, "what?"]!!

Also, feel free to send the same text opener to multiple people at the same time! Always good fun.

Rules of Text Messaging:

Here are some of the basics regarding text messaging:

1. The rules of grammar still apply. Make sure your spelling, punctuation and capitalizations are in order.

2. As a guy, make sure the interaction ends with her sending the final text. Leave her in suspense.

3. Keep the interaction short. A text conversation should not be more than a few back and forths. If it is going to be any longer, pick up the phone and call her. Texts are NOT a substitute for normal conversation.

4. Don’t overdo it, but use emoticons (such as smileys :), winks ;) and your tongue out :p) if you are teasing her about something. As with instant messages (which I am NOT a big fan of), you don’t want things getting misinterpreted - ESPECIALLY if this is someone you recently met.

5. As is the case with 3am drunk calls, THINK TWICE before sending something to a woman while severely intoxicated.

Finally, a word about picture messaging. I like to use my cell phone camera to take pictures of goofy shit I see in my everyday travels. These usually get a good laugh when you forward them to women. For example, here’s one I took in San Diego a few weeks ago...



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
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