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Now available from Online Dating Edge...

THE PROCESS: HOW TO GO FROM A FIRST CONTACT WITH A WOMAN TO AN IN-PERSON FIRST MEETING






Sunday, December 28, 2008

Five Fun Ways to Mess With Women

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Here are five fun ways to mess with women while going about your everyday life:

1. If a woman says she is going to do something (i.e. ‘I’ll be back in an hour,’ 'I am going to the store,' 'I am renting a movie'), respond by saying, “Don’t threaten me like that!”

2. While walking on the street with a woman, come to a complete and unexpected stop. See what she does. Works best when she is walking directly behind you.

3. If she makes a statement along the lines of ‘I have to go now,’ ‘I am going to be 30 minutes late,’ ‘That’s the last time I _______,' respond with, “You promise?”

4. If she says something to the effect of "see you later," "see you in an hour," etc. reply with, "Thanks for the warning!"

5. Finally, if she posts a stupid picture on Facebook (i.e. her remodeled bathroom), start tagging all the mundane objects in the picture (floor, tiles, TP, sink, etc.). Then add a photo comment of "Dork!"


And here's a bonus one:

6. If she makes a mundane statement (i.e. I’m at work, I’m tired, My car broke down), respond with, “I LOVE it when u talk dirty like that.”

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dating Advice from a Nine-Year Old

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Have you heard of Alex Greven, a Colorado fourth-grader, who wrote "How to Talk to Girls"? If not, you can check out this article from MSNBC here. It also turns out Fox studios just picked up the movie rights! Good for him.

If you haven't heard of the book here is the run down:

8 year old Alex wrote a pamphlet about how to "talk to girls" and sold them at a school fair. HarperCollins then bought it and published "How to Talk to Girls." His advice is simple and includes:

"Girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power. If you know that now, things might be easier."

"About 73% of regular girls ditch boys; 98% of pretty girls ditch boys."

Oh yeah, another pearl of wisdom... "don't wear sweats." If only Plaxico Burress heeded that advice!

The book is cute, I scanned through it. It's simple and honest (he's only nine- eight when he wrote it). Unfortunately, life isn't always so simple.

He also has two other books coming out shortly- "How to Talk to Moms" and "How to Talk to Dads." Talk about striking while the iron is hot!

In the meantime, save your sweatpants for the strip clubs...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

More of what NOT to say at a FIRST MEETING

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We've handled the topic of what you can an CANNOT talk about on a first meeting more than once. Here's one such article, but you can do a search for more using the search bar up at the top left of this page. Erin Flaherty of Shine has put together a top 10 of "what not to say on a first date." Her top five are:

1. "My ex is crazy."

2. "I would like to get married and have kids asap."

3. "Who are you voting for?"

4. "Can you pay the check? I'm broke."

5. "What's your favorite TV show?"




All are weak attempts at conversation or definite no-nos, but there are many other areas to stay clear of. For example:

1. "I have the biggest porn collection of all my friends."

2. "I use to get excited when Bugs would dress up as the girl rabbit." (Thanks Garth.)

3. "My wife/husband is such a pain in the ass." (Unless you are both planning an affair!)

4. "I knew I should have taken one more hit this morning."

5. "One time in band camp..."

6. "I have this terrible itching and redness."



Happy dating!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Friday, November 7, 2008

Online Dating - How to Turn Her Down

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I just got the WEIRDEST email on JDate.

A girl who cancelled on me less than an hour before we were supposed to meet last year just contacted me again as if we had never spoken.

Heh? What? Is this chick for real?

But it got me thinking -- Is there a simple (yet polite), cut-and-paste email someone can send out letting someone know he/she isn't interested (as opposed to just merely ignoring someone's message)?

So here you go - her loss is your gain:

Hey XXX,

Thank you for your email, but I am not interested in pursuing anything at this time. Best of luck in your search!

Alexander


Nothing good can EVER come from verbally attacking anyone in an email (including this bizatch). ALWAYS take the high road -- let her see what she missed out on.

Also feel free to use this email anytime you are contacted by someone you are not interested in. It is MUCH more polite than ignoring someone that took the time to write you. Don't leave them hanging... not cool.

Happy Dating!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All Rights Reserved

Monday, October 13, 2008

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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Thought It was time for a public service announcement. For those of you that didn't know, October is "Breast Cancer Awareness Month". With that, here is a great "interview" from the Onion News Network.


12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

In all honesty education on this topic is very important. Donate what you can to organizations like Susan G. Komen for the Cure or any other fine organization out there. While you're at it, pick up one of these shirts:



They can be purchased here.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A Response to, "So, Tell Me Everything I know About You"

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In today's (September 14, 2008) Sunday Styles Section this weeks "Modern Love" piece by Joanna Pearson there's much to discuss. I'll try and keep this pithy, but who knows where it will go.

The piece begins like this: "SEVERAL years ago when I was living in Washington, I met a man the old-fashioned way: tipsily, in a bar. Then I ruined my chances with him the new-fashioned way. I Googled him." I'm not entirely sure that googling him is what ruined it. I think it may have been her views on dating and a touch of low self esteem.

Through out the article Ms. Pearson seems to display a disdain for dating, and some seemingly low self esteem issues. Here's a case in point regarding dating, "[the]dating scene was more about networking than fun." Is the entire dating scene this way? Or just the scenes you chose to frequent, Ms. Pearson?

Now to what I find more interesting, the low self esteem issues. For ease of reading I'll list them:

1. "...a very tall and lanky guy who was looking my way. I checked to the right and left, but no — he was looking at me. This was not what I expected attractive guys to do." Why wouldn't you expect this? Do you not consider yourself to be attractive? Maybe you feel most guys are afraid to show interest, let alone strike up a conversation?

2. "I am also tall... (Not just tall, but somewhere between the most alien-looking runway model and the Statue of Liberty.)" Boy, you sure like knocking yourself. Sure many guys are intimidated by height, but you are making yourself out to be a freak. I bet your a nice looking woman. Be more positive about yourself!

3. "...cool-looking couples held long-stemmed glasses in their slender hands..." Do you not fit in? Why not? Do you have man hands? Pointing out how nice others look makes me think that you think little of yourself.

4. "The three glasses of wine I downed in quick succession did not ease my nerves so much as muddy my short-term memory." Nothing like a drunk girls with low self esteem. Let's learn from her mistake (you can read the article to find out how she embarrasses herself).

The article tells of how she googled her date, learned too much about him, and was scared away by how great he seemed. She felt as though she was not qualified to be with him. This guy didn't even have to use qualifying questions to make her realize he was the prize. She did it to herself. Joanna ends her article with this: "Nowadays, my advice to friends is: never Google a date. No Facebook, MySpace or Technorati, either."

I totally disagree. Unless you have low self esteem and can't handle it, checking out google is a smart thing to do. But there is truth that Ms. Pearson suggests earlier in the article, "Often when you Google someone, you get nothing, or else simply a name twin. Sometimes you get a nice little geeky history." The only reason googling was a bad idea for Ms. Pearson, in my opinion, is her low self esteem. Check out our article on googling a date.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Facebook Slang - 'Defacing'

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Here is a term I recently came across on Urbandictionary.com

Deface:

To remove a 'friendship' from facebook due to having either accidentally adding him/her as a friend or actually adding them and reconsidering later.

"Yeah, there was this guy in my network who added me. I thought he looked ok, but his updates were really cramping my news feed, so I had to deface him."

"I went on a date with a girl I met a week before and like the day after our date she changed her status to 'in a relationship.' I defaced her."


For some reason, many people seem to revert back to the sixth grade when it comes to being 'defaced.' They take it personally when someone removes them from their Facebook page - regardless of the reason.

Here are some of the people I have defaced recently, and my reasons for doing it:

1. I removed an acquaintance for excessively complaining about her life and/or her various physical ailments in her status updates. I am thinking about setting her up with a guy I know that does the same exact thing (as it turns out, they are both single!). NOT COOL.
2. A guy I detested from high school that kept asking me to add him. After three rejections, I finally relented and let him on. I then waited a week and removed him.
3. A girl I met on JDate and went out with once. Not really sure why she was there in the first place. We had no people in common, didn't speak anymore and I had no interest in re-connecting. CYA!

Guys, just remember that removing someone from your Facebook page is irreversible - and if it is a significant person (woman you just broke up with, friend you are in a fight with, someone you don't like but is well connected, etc.), it will be discussed in the various gossip mills. You could also face potential embarassment and/or groveling if you want to re-add them later, as you then have to ask them to approve you all over again.

From a dating perspective, the best way to avoid having to 'deface' someone is to not add people you just started seeing (i.e. met online, went out once) - make them earn it! Use it as a wager, perhaps?

Also, realize the finality of removing an ex from your profile before deciding to do so. You will look like a total douche if you change your mind and want her back later.

Good luck!

Chemistry.com

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Saturday, September 6, 2008

RANDOM POST: DISCOUNT FOR ONLINEDATINGEDGE READERS!

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A buddy of ours decided to give our loyal readers a nice Post Labor Day gift, 10% off from both his websites, until September 12, 2008.

For small orders go to: SPINNINGDISCDIRECT
To get the 10% off write "APPROACH" in the message box!

For larger orders ("wholesale" $99+ purchased) go to: SPINNINGDISCONLINE
To get the 10% off write "APPROACH" in the coupon box!

He's got all kinds of classic movies (including a pretty cool James Bond Box set)and lots of porn (if you like that sort of thing).

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Friday, September 5, 2008

"Best Cities For Singles" according to Forbes

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Forbes has put out it's annual Top 40 Cities For Singles. Here are the Top 11:

1. Atlanta
2. San Francisco
3. Dallas
4. Minneapolis
5. Washington D.C.
6. Seattle
7. Boston
8. New York City
9. Orlando
10. Phoenix
11. Chicago

Check out the article for the rest of the list and how the rankings were determined.

So if you live in one of these cities, and even if you don't, get out there and start meeting people! Having trouble approaching women? Give us a shout. No luck online? Get your online dating profile and photos in order. There are countless articles on this website helping you figure out how to do that. Or if you'd like, drop us a line and we'll help you with whatever you need.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match!

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Yesterday, I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be called into the examination room. Or as I prefer to call it, "waiting room #2." Why do I bother getting to doctor's appointments on time? I always have to wait. I should start billing for my lost time. But I digress...

Back to the point. I was sitting and waiting and of course there are only some crappy magazines. I scanned through Vogue, breezed through an old Sports Illustrated I had already read, and then in desperation began to look over an AARP magazine.

For those of you that don't know, "AARP is a membership organization dedicated to enhancing the experience of aging through advocacy, information, and services." You have to be over 50 to join, and you get a magazine and some discounts at various merchants.

So, there I am reading this magazine and I stumble across an article by Ron Burley about online matchmakers. Basically someone subscribed to a service and was unhappy with the results. There was some good common sense advice in the article related to finding a matchmaker:

1. Ask for references and check them.

2. Be a considerate client.

3. Look your best. Like it or not, finding a partner is partly a sales job.

4. Take your time.

Great advice - especially in light of the fact that you will be spending THOUSANDS of dollars on their services. And as I can personally attest from dating one of NYCs well-known matchmakers, some of these people dont know what the hell they are doing!

In our opinion, you will have MUCH better results in your dating life (and at a much cheaper cost!) if you focus on getting your online dating profile and photos in order. There are countless articles on this website helping you figure out how to do that. Or if you'd like, drop us a line and we'll help you with whatever you are stuck with.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Monday, August 25, 2008

Beware of the Highlighted Profile!

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I was recently perusing JDate (for ‘educational purposes only’) and noticed that they have a new level of membership called a “Premium Plan.” For an extra 3-5 dollars a month (as if they are not expensive enough), you can have your profile appear highlighted when it shows up in someone’s search. I know Match.com offers a similar option, and my guess is that many other sites have something like this as well.

DON”T DO IT!

It screams WUSS.

Whew. That was easy ;)

Now for the rest of the story…

Woman that choose this option tend to be… well, let’s say, ‘more eager to meet a guy’ than someone with a normal membership.

You interpret that any way you’d like.

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

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A recent commenter posted there thought that guys and girls can't be friends. Talk about timing. A recent "O, the Oprah Magazine" article by Dr. Michael Vincent Miller was posted on CNN.com. No, we don't read the Oprah Magazine!

The reality is that it is very diffuclt for a heterosexual man and woman to be platonic friends - there is usually something lurking in the background.

Generally, it falls into one of these categories:

1. They had a relationship in the past;
2. He likes her and she "doesn't know";
3. She likes him and he "doesn't know";
4. They both like each other and something will happen in the future;
5. One was dating the others friend and one person has feelings for the other.

There are probably other senarios that we've neglected, but you get the idea. There are some occasions were a guy and girl are friends and that's it, but it's rare. Very rare.

So, we leave the question to you, our readers, CAN MEN AND WOMEN TRULY BE FRIENDS? Or, is there always a romantic past or hookup (or hopes of a hookup) lingering in the future?


Chemistry.com



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Facebook Picture Tagging

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Thought we'd share an article from a recent New York Times Education section. Lisa Guernsey's Picture Your Name Here is a great look at Facebook and college life. It reminds us all that what we may think of as private may become public.
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There is a quote by a UPENN student, Jim Saksa, that rings true: “Our generation is the first to cope with the necessary assumption that our every action seen by another may in turn be seen by all of our peers."

It turns out Facebook may be a good tool for meeting people, keeping in touch, even finding a date. But it is a double edged sword! It can also make playing the field a challenge.

Is nothing private? Not anymore!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Money's 25 places with the highest percentage of singles

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Chemistry.com

Money Magazine just put out an article about the "best" places to live. Turns out, one of the subcatagories is "best places to be single." It's actually the 25 places that have the highest percentage of singles, and an over-30 scene. We all know the best place to be single is college! Regardless here's the link, and part of the list:

1. Hoboken, NJ
2. Cambridge, MA
3. Somerville, MA
4. Berkeley, CA
5. Boston, MA
6. Burlington, VT
7. Washington, DC
8. Boulder, CO
9. North Druid Hills, GA
10. Hermosa Beach, CA
11. Minneapolis, MN
12. Hempstead, NY
13. Atlanta, GA
14. Syracuse, NY
15. Albany, NY

Check out the link for the rest of the cities...

Now here's your part: If you live in any of these cities, tell us what you think. If you don't, give us your opinion of your area!


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Sunday, July 13, 2008

"Speed Dating 101" YouTube Video

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Chemistry.com

We found this funny spoof of speed dating gone awry. While we've experienced and heard about similar situations, this takes whatever may go wrong to the next level.

About the worst thing I've experienced while speed dating was a pushy 35 year old who threatened to cross off my name unless I told her what I did for a living (I told her I was the world's tallest midget). I smiled and crossed out hers.

Then again, I did end up dating the organizer of the event (a prominent NYC matchmaker) afterwards - who by far was the WORST date I have ever had. One day when I am ready to start a holy war I'll get into more details. In the meantime, check out the video.

If you have any funny speed dating stories share them now. We all could use a laugh!



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Love advice from Ben Stein?

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As my father says, "Advice is like an asshole. Everyone has one and they usually stink." [Actually he was talking about stock tips at the time, but that's advice of sorts.] The key word is usually, as there are some people that have gained your respect so you should listen carefully to their advice. I'd like to think that if you're reading this, you've gained our trust. I know if Warren Buffett gave me some investment advice I'd listen.

Now Ben Stein is peddling advice about love. Yes, that Ben Stein (the lawyer, economist, former speech writer for Nixon and Ford, writer,actor...)the monotone guy from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I may be being a little tongue in cheek but Ben Stein himself has said, "I've said to my wife repeatedly, I just want on my gravestone, 'He loved dogs' and 'Bueller, Bueller."

In today's New York Times, Lessons in Love, By Way of Economics, Ben Stein gives some advice about love. I think it's sound advice. Here are some key points:

1. You need to invest time, "caring, patience, and unselfishness," and you'll get this back in return.
Of course all of this assumes you are looking for love and the other person is as well! Just like an economist, making assumptions!

2. High quality people are what you should seek out.

3. Do your due diligence. Physically someone may be hot, but inside they may not!Get to know the person inside and out.

4. You shouldn't have to share your love. He or she should be yours and yours alone. Unless you're into that sort of thing!

5. When you find a winner, stick with it.

Happy reading!

Lavalife.com

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Monday, June 30, 2008

Speed Dating 2.0 - Woome.com

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

moli_general_120x90

Maybe you've heard of Web 2.0, the notion that the World Wide Web be used for greater creativity, sharing, and collaboration. The concept has led to the creation of blogs, wikis, and social networking sites (Speaking of which, have you checked out Moli? Hit the link at the top of this article and check it out!). As we've said in the past, social networking has been the rage for the last 5 years or so, taking a piece of the multi billion dollar online dating market, but there is something relatively new that we came across, woome.com.

Here's the basic idea- speed dating for the 21st century. You register for a free account, and then using your microphone or webcam and microphone, you join or create short chat sessions. Once you find someone you're interested in, and they are interested in you (woo'd), you pay $1 to connect to them. Woome says this is supposed to be a "live interactive experience where users play for fun, to hook up, or just meet new people around shared interests."

Upon initial inspection here's what we think:
1. The male to female ratio is great for straight women (Read: too many guys).
2. Narrowing down the selection geographically was very limited (we searched near NY twice in the past two days. Our best results were yesterday, 3 guys and possibly 1 girl ("her" avatar was a banana).

We won't pass final judgement just yet; we'll join and review the site shortly. If you're up for trying something new go for it and let us know what you think.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Handling a Poor Choice for a Blind Date

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Hi guys. Quick question. What do I do if I arrive at a blind date and have no interest in the physical appearance of the girl I've been set up with? What's the best way to handle it? - M.T., Hoboken, NJ

This may seem complicated, but it need not be. First of all, from now on if looks are a major concern (aren't they to most everyone?), make sure you get a picture of the person before you set up a meeting. This will help to ensure that there are no hard feelings. Also, as we have said in the past, always make sure your first meeting is an informal one. Check out this article for planning a first meeting.

Always handle situations like this with class and tact. Don't hurt feelings, but don't lead anyone on. Be cordial and polite, being sure to spare feelings. How would you like it if you met someone, and were interested, and they said you were "not there type" or worse, fat, ugly, bald, etc. Try not to totally destroy what little self esteem this person may have. Stay for a reasonable amount of time, then thank the person for meeting. If asked by the blind date or your friend who set you up, simply say you didn't feel a connection. Below is a clip from "The Chair Model" episode of "The Office" that, although humorous, is exactly what you should not do.


Special thanks to JayDingo for finding this clip!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Stephen David and Alexander Stone on Candace Bushnell

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We have received a number of emails about our appearance on Candace Bushnell's "Sex, Success and Sensibility" and we thank you for your support. For those of you that do not have Sirius and want a recap, here you go (by the way, our advice and opinions on these topics can be found by searching key terms in the search bar at the top and bottom of this column):

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWNS – texting, calling, IMing, e-mailing . . . what are the “rules”, if any?

DATING DEAL BREAKERS – what makes a relationship keep moving forward and what ends it before it has even began?

THE RULES OF HOOKING UP – how soon do you start sleeping together, casual sex, etc...

TAKING RELATIONSHIPS TO NEXT LEVEL – when is it time to move in together, get married, etc...

ONLINE DATING – are rules different than if you met elsewhere? Do girls and guys have different expectations online?

During this segment, online dating expert Alexander Stone provided a poignant and powerful explanation of the "dos and don'ts" of online dating. He explained the different goals various individuals have when it comes to online dating, and relationships in general.

MARRIAGE 101 – what do you tolerate from your spouse’s interactions with the opposite sex, what’s considered cheating, etc...

During this segment, relationship guru Stephen David provided candid incite into the world of long term relationships and marriage. The concept of cheating was discussed from both a male and female point of view. Further, the use of the internet as a tool for extramarital affairs was discussed.

And as a reminder, Sirius will be replaying last week's broadcast all day Thursday, May 1, 2008. We have the last two 20 minute segments.

If you are not currently a subscriber, you can sign up for a free 3-day membership here.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Monday, April 28, 2008

Video: 'I Have a Boyfriend'

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Don’t you just hate it when a woman you just met casually drops the “my boyfriend” line into the conversation? One of the MANY reasons I never buy women drinks…

Now is she honestly spoken for, or is she just trying to blow you off? No matter - you’re out either way.

I suppose you could always try a witty comeback (“that’s cause you haven’t met ME yet,” or “how about some quality backup?”), but in my opinion, you’re just wasting your time.

Anyhow, some dude from England has come up with an innovative way of handling things when a woman drops the boyfriend/fiancé line on you.

Enjoy!


She Has A Boyfriend - Watch more free videos

EDITORS NOTE – Use at your own risk. We assume no responsibility for what may happen to you as a result of trying out anything you see on this video.

But please feel free to write in and share your experiences anyhow…

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, April 24, 2008

12 Tips to Constructing a Dating Profile That Gets Women to Contact YOU

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live approach workshops as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

EDITOR'S NOTE - Stephen and I would like to thank everyone in Boston that came out for our presentation last weekend. We look forward to seeing you guys again in the near future.
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The guys that have the most success with online dating are the ones that hardly ever have to send out an opening email (unless they want to, of course). These are the guys whose profiles are so intriguing that they actually have a steady flow of women contacting THEM.

I remember hitting a point a few years ago where I was handling so much incoming traffic that I no longer had the time (or the interest) to actively search for women online. When you find yourself wanting to complain to your buddies that you simply don’t have the time to meet all of these women, you will know that you are doing something right.

Now for the good news. It is not that difficult to make yourself stand out online. All it takes is an initial time investment and some occasional maintenance. And fortunately, all the tools you need to put together your own kick-ass profile are right here on this website.

Here are twelve dos and don’ts for constructing a top-notch profile that will have women contacting YOU:

1. Check out your ‘competition.’ – Before you even worry about what you are going to write, do a profile search of the guys in your geographical area that are close to you in age and height (and make sure you adjust your privacy settings so they wont know you checked them out!). These are the people you will be competing with in your respective dating pool.

What you will notice is that a great majority of these guys are meatheads. Whether they are spewing their resumes, using meaningless adjectives to describe themselves or overtly talking about sex, almost every one of the guys has something in their profile that places them in the JACKASS zone.

Your job is to look for trends in these profiles – and make sure none of them appear anywhere in yours. After all, how can you stand out if you have the same info as everyone else?

2. Make sure that your photos are in order. This is the first place a woman is going to look when she is checking you out. And if you don’t pass the photo test, it doesn’t matter if you have the most eloquently written profile in the history of online dating – she aint gonna read it.

Check out our article entitled, “Online Dating – Your Photos” to ensure that you are not committing any photo blunders that will kill your chances with potential mates.

3. Make sure you have the basics down. These include proper grammar and spelling, use of a passive tone in your essays as well as the avoidance of clichés, meaningless adjectives and pessimistic language.

Our column entitled, “Seven Keys to Creating a Captivating Online Dating Profile” is a MUST READ and covers these areas in much more detail.

4. Be specific about yourself. This is the ‘bait’ that will entice a woman to write to you. Don’t just say you love to travel - talk about that time you walked on fire in California, told Polish jokes in Poland (very slowly) or how you are looking forward to getting back to Sydney. Or instead of proclaiming yourself to be a ‘pop-culture junkie,’ make a comment about how you think that people obsessed with Britney should get a life.

Being unique in your profile accomplishes several things. Not only will this information get women interested in you, but it will also give them something to write to you about. Also, you never know what could prompt a woman to send you an email, so the more interesting stuff you have in your profile, the more potential women you may reach.

The bottom line is this. The more you can express your uniqueness and creativity in your profile, the better you will fare online.

Chemistry.com

5. Answer ALL of the short answer/essay questions. Not only does this show women that you are serious about the online dating process, but it also gives you another opportunity to include something specific that can prompt a woman to write to you.

6. ‘Update’ your profile approximately once a week. This will put you back at the top of the search list. All you need to do is delete a word from one of your essays, retype it, and hit publish.

7. Include a 'call to action' at the end of your profile. What you want to do here is CHALLENGE her to write to you. You can do this by including something along the lines of, "if you think you can run with me, then START TYPING and let's see what you've got..."

8. Don't start your opening paragraph with the word “I.” This is the easiest way to make yourself stand out from everyone else – look at ten random profiles and you’ll see what I mean.

When a woman is doing a profile search, she will usually only get to see the first few words of someone’s intro paragraph. Having something other than the word I as your opener tells her that your profile has some substance to it, and she is not going to be subjected to another “I am” list. This will get her to click on you and explore further.

9. Don't include any salary information in your profile. Not only is this tacky, but it is also nobody's business.

10. Don’t include your job title in your profile. I know, everyone else is doing it – which is precisely why you should leave it out. It is also boring and non-descriptive.

You have two options here. Option one is to give a vivid description of what you actually do (i.e. instead of martial arts instructor, say “I teach kids how to handle bullies”).

Or you can go for the wiseass approach (my personal favorite), and tell people that you are a miniature golf caddy or you fix used paper clips. For a master list of fake jobs you can use, click here.

11. Don’t spew your resume. You only have a limited amount of space to express yourself in an essay. Why waste it with stuff that can be included elsewhere in your profile? This information may also make you look like you are showing off to try and impress them.

Make sure you leave some mystery in your profile. After she reads what you wrote, you want her thinking, “I love this guy. I wonder how he got to be the way he is. I can’t wait to find out more!”

And finally...

12. DON'T LIE IN YOUR PROFILE. While you should certainly strive to present yourself in your best light, you will not achieve this by making patently false statements. Things such as your age, height, current weight and current occupation are what they are.

Even if you wish things were different (i.e. your age), it is MUCH better to be honest about it than have her catch you in a lie later on (which she WILL). Once your credibility is blown, it is never coming back.

And by the way, this goes for pictures as well. If your photos show you at 185 pounds with a full head of hair, that better be how you currently look. Nothing is worse than showing up for a first meeting only to find that the person you spent time getting to know on email has misrepresented themselves in their photos.

At Approach Dynamics, our goal is to help you present yourself in your best light. Remember, first impressions are EVERYTHING, and having a creative, well-written profile will help you stand out from the crowd - a MUST for success in the online dating world.

We offer a number of different services for online dating, including email and phone consultations to answer any of your individual questions, a detailed critique of your existing online profile, or if you wish, we will write you a new one from scratch (with an emphasis on making sure it sounds like YOU).

We look forward to working with you.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How to Meet Women on Facebook and Other Social Networking Sites

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

starving_artist_468x60

Social networking is still all the rage. MySpace, Facebook, Bebo, Friendster, LinkedIn, Meetup, Orkut, Moli... just to name a few! The press they get is mixed. People finding lost friends, making new friends, and even finding love.

And so begs the question. Can social networking sites really be used to find a date? Dare we ask, to find love? And how does one attempt to meet someone using these social networking sites? Here are three great ways to do it:

1. Grow your circle of friends. Link up with people you know directly, and then try and link up with people they know! You may also have people ask to be friends with you first from groups you may join or based on posts you may make. Just make sure to watch out for spammers as well as the notorious 'Russian strippers.' MySpace (does anyone still use that horrific site?) and other sites have become a haven for porn spam and other assorted crap.

And remember, the more friends you have, the more likely you are to find friends in common. Not only does this lead to that ever popular 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon' game, but it also gives you an 'in' if you like someone that shares a mutual friend with you - just have your mutual friend introduce you!

2. Join some singles and/or common interest groups. Facebook is best for this one. Whether you are Jewish, homosexual, into green dating or you feel compelled to be one of the "one million people who think that Heather Mills is a money grabbing whore" (yours truly is a member), you can easily find an interest group of like-minded people.

But don't just sign up for one of these groups and do nothing - start posting! I recently piped in on a group that was complaining about how all the people they were meeting online sucked - and got a thank you email from the group's organizer... a total hottie!

3. Reconnect with some long-lost friends. Ever have a woman that you met online, maybe went out with once or twice, but lost touch with due to no fault of either of you? Or how about that girl from high school that gave you a woody when you saw down her shirt in 10th grade, but you never went up to her and made your move? Well now that you have been reading this column, you should have all the tools you need to make up for lost time! Hehehe... I said tool.

But seriously, Facebook has an excellent system for finding people you may know that are also members - either by scanning your email contact lists or looking for people that share a number of mutual friends with you. I have definitely found some interesting people on there.

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Some Creepy JDate IM Chat

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Head's up ladies...

A female friend of mine sent me this IM exchange she had on JDate the other night. Apparently this guy wrote her and told her how he had just gone to a friend's party at a gay bar. Then the conversation got a bit creepy, so she decided to have some fun with him. (NOTE - the names have been changed to protect the guilty)

The bottom line is that you never know who may be lurking on these websites. So always keep your wits about you, and use common sense.

But for the rest of us, enjoy!

********

JDate Guy: ever been to a gay or les bar/club?
GirlieGirl: maybe...
JDate Guy: what maybe?
JDate Guy: i've been before
GirlieGirl: lots of cute guys there
JDate Guy: haha
JDate Guy: and girls
GirlieGirl: absolutely
JDate Guy: it was a lot of fun
JDate Guy: lots of dancing
GirlieGirl: that's where i met my girlfriend
JDate Guy: thats cool
JDate Guy: how long you two been together
GirlieGirl: well, we're not really 'together'
JDate Guy: but? i am very openminded
JDate Guy: by the way,,my name is Don
GirlieGirl: do tell...
GirlieGirl: im lisa
JDate Guy: I am bi
GirlieGirl: likewise
JDate Guy: most people have some bi in them
JDate Guy: would you date a bi guy?
GirlieGirl: my girlfriends are pretty open minded about that stuff
GirlieGirl: i date all kinds of guys
GirlieGirl: and girls
JDate Guy: thats great
JDate Guy: we live nearby,,which is cool
GirlieGirl: do you mainly date girls or guys?
JDate Guy: what brings you to jdate ? looking for something serious?
casual? a mix of both? etc,,,,
JDate Guy: mainly women
JDate Guy: no wrong or right answer
GirlieGirl: just having fun
JDate Guy: where did you grow up?
JDate Guy: oyu date mainly men or women
GirlieGirl: where ever my mood takes me
GirlieGirl: tonite is going to be fun
JDate Guy: thats cool
JDate Guy: why
GirlieGirl: just waiting for my friend to come out of the shower
GirlieGirl: :p
JDate Guy: hehe
JDate Guy: have ap ic of her?
GirlieGirl: she's hotter than I am
JDate Guy: hehe,,you two ever take pics together?
GirlieGirl: maybe...
JDate Guy: me too with men
JDate Guy: its fun
GirlieGirl: do tell...
JDate Guy: noyour turn to do tell
GirlieGirl: lol... nice try
JDate Guy: do you have aim?
JDate Guy: i would loev to get to know you more
GirlieGirl: i have great aim
GirlieGirl: she LOVES it
JDate Guy: okay going to sleep hun
GirlieGirl: me too... going to bed
GirlieGirl: but i cant say im going to sleep
GirlieGirl: ;)
GirlieGirl: night night
JDate Guy: i would like to stay in touch
GirlieGirl: play your cards right, and you just might...
GirlieGirl: drop me an email sometime
GirlieGirl: night


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Friday, March 28, 2008

Green Dating

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

This whole "Earth Hour" thing and www.storyofstuff.com got me thinking...

Well, the price of oil must be up (not as high as it has been in the last couple of weeks, I know)! How do I know? Because "ecofriendly," "environmentally friendly," "green," and "sustainable" are all big buzz words again. Don't take this as a negative view of these terms. In fact, I consider myself to be "environmentally conscious" in my actions. That being said I also understand that sometimes local is better than organic, and a nonhybrid can be a lot better than a hybrid. Has being green become a fashion statement? Not that there is anything wrong with that, if it has (read: it has). In fact, maybe its a good thing? A way of waking up the masses?

Enough pontification- what's the point and how does it relate to this site? Well, we've brought up niche dating in the past, and I just discovered a new niche dating craze. Green dating. Check out the Green Girls Guide - Gigi's Blog for a list of green online dating sites, as well as a vocabulary lesson that includes terms like, ecosexual and eco hoe. Sounds saucy!



I spent some time searching through a few of these green dating sites, as if I were a prospective member. I am all too familiar with niche dating sites and knew the pool of prospective matches would be small. I had no idea just how small some would be! One site found 30 matches for a woman age 18 to 40 in the New York City area. The NYC area extended to BUFFALO, NY! If you are unfamiliar with New York geography, Buffalo and NYC are approximately 400 miles away! Some sites are relatively new and will grow, but remember, with niche dating, by definition, you are narrowing your field of potential mates. (Make sure the issue is important enough for you!)

Another issue I found while perusing the sites, were a dearth of creative or quality profiles. That is not to say a lack of quality people. I am sure many of them are as they proclaim themselves to be: "beautiful soul," "loving Earth child," and "care-taker of all that is natural and pure." If you plan on venturing onto one of these sites, take it seriously. Make sure the issue is important enough to wipe out the majority of potential mates/dates. And write a quality profile. If you need us, we're here.

Tree huggers, hippies, greenies, vegetarians, vegans, defenders of environmental justice, fair trade pushers, buy local junkies, organic heads, and alike fear not; There is a dating site out there for you!

At one point Kermit was right. But it seems to have become easier to be green.


Youtube.com "sesame street - its not easy being green" Thanks Kermit!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The REAL Reasons Guys Reject Women Online

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Chemistry.com (check out our review of Chemistry here) now has a drop-down box where you are supposed to select the reason you decided not to choose someone. Unfortunately, all of the options (‘not a good fit,’ ‘different interests,’ ‘no chemistry based on short answers,’ etc.) are politically correct and tell you nothing.

Here’s how I would do it:

1. She UGLY;
2. I had to use Mapquest to find out where her town is;
3. She hasn’t been 33 since the Nixon administration;
4. She has the personality of a mop;
5. I have no interest in helping you raise money to rescue your country’s kidnapped prince;
6. She has spelling/grammar errors in her profile, but she claims to be an EDITOR;
7. This party girl is probably a walking petri dish of STDs;
8. She’s a money-grubbing bizatch;
9. If she REALLY didn’t play games, she wouldn’t have mentioned games in the first place;
10. She only has headshots on her profile, and we ALL know what that means…

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, March 20, 2008

When She Suddenly Goes Cold on You

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Alexander,

I met this girl online recently and we seemed to really click. After exchanging a few witty emails, we met in person and had a great time. What was supposed to be a quick drink turned into a six hour date, with her kissing me at the end of the night. Anyway, it took us a little over a week to meet up again due to both of our schedules, but she was constantly emailing me during that time.

But when we went out again, she suddenly went cold on me. She got really distant all of a sudden, was cutting my conversation topics short and started disagreeing with everything I said. I don’t think I did anything that should have caused that type of response and things seemed to be going really well until that point. What the hell happened?

J.R.

********MY RESPONSE********

I have been in this situation twice – and it sucks. You meet in person, have an awesome time, have some back and forth chat afterwards, and then out of nowhere a totally different woman shows up for date 2. Chicks are weird, man – but then again, us guys aren’t much better.

But this is precisely the reason you need to remain objective the first few times you go out with someone. People tend to be on their best behavior early on - so you if think someone has potential, you need to take the time to really get to know them before you start envisioning what your kids are going to look like.

Now as to WHY your date suddenly turned into the ice princess, it’s probably one of these five scenarios:

• She didn’t like your shoes;
• You were dealing with either a natural flirt or an attention whore, and she really wasn’t as into you as you thought;
• She didn’t get a pony for her 8th birthday;
• She met another guy she liked better;
• She got sausaged by four biker dudes an hour before you met up, and was uncomfortable sitting on a chair.

The truth is that you are NEVER going to know the real reason she went cold on you. And even if you were to ask her (which is a HORRIBLE idea), you are still not going to get a straight answer.

But then again, the reason WHY she did it really doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that it happened, and now you have to move on. So stop worrying about something you have absolutely no control over, and chalk her up as a poor judge of character for not digging you.

And if she happens to contact you again (which she won’t), do not respond. Never waste your time with some chick that is throwing mixed signals at you. As Doc Love once said, “when they like you, they help you.”

Good luck man!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Online Dating: First Meeting Conversation Topics

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Ok, great! You scored her digits, set up a first meeting, and now you are going to meet her for the first time. What in the world are you guys going to talk about?

As Doc Love always says, “keep it light, keep it funny. No heavy subjects, no put-downs and no negatives.”

Here are some ideas of specific topics you can bring up on a first meeting:

1. The environment you are in – Are you at a pool hall, bar/lounge or bowling alley? Do some people watching and comment about what is going on. Is someone wearing a really goofy outfit? Did someone just put 'Love Shack' on the jukebox? Do you see a couple on a first date, and one of them is clearly not interested in being there? Fun stuff!

2. Online dating experiences – make sure you have at least three really good funny/horror stories you can tell. Rehearse them ahead of time so you can bust one out at will.

But make sure the stories don’t make YOU look like a jackass. Pick something funny (girl was a weirdo, something goofy happened) and make sure you end the story by showing that you did the proper thing for that situation.

Now if you are going to tell a story about a psycho chick, be careful! If she is TOO out there, you may lose points for not being able to weed her out sooner.

3. Anything you guys have in common – Did you go to the same college? Were you both at the Dave Matthews concert in Central Park? Do you know any of the same people? Try to make as many connections as possible with her.

But again, a word of caution. If you guys each know someone, but you don’t get along with that person (or they have some embarrassing dirt on you), you might want to consider keeping quiet about knowing them (or maybe even go as far as keeping them away from each other, depending on the circumstances).

4. Pop Culture – Did she catch any of that ‘Client 9 Radio’ station on Sirius? Does she know the name of the bicycle shop owner from that Diff’rent Strokes episode? Who would she rather have in her deadpool – Amy Winehouse or Britney Spears? Ok, maybe not that one.

Before you go out, scan PerezHilton.com or TMZ.com or grab a copy of US Weekly. Figure out what is hot in celebrity news and debate her on it.

Also, another good website for date material is Overheard in New York.

And here is some stuff your should NEVER talk about:

1. Situations where you screwed up on a date – Did some snotty girl pull something on you and get away with it? Shh! Did some Russian girl scam you into a $200 dinner and then turn away when you went for a kiss? Never happened. How about that time you took a gulp of something and snarfed it up all over your date? You get the picture.

2. Your job – She doesn’t want to hear about it. And if she does, you may have trouble on your hands. All you need to convey to her is that you are gainfully employed, ambitious and have a positive attitude about things.

There is, however, an exception to this rule. You are free to talk about DRAMA from the office. If two girls in HR are sleeping together or some guy just got promoted by blackmailing the boss, that’s all fair game. Make them almost sound like characters in a play (that she may get to meet one day!). But again, make sure your stories don’t make you look like a dumbass.

3. Physical ailments, how much you hate the world or any other complaints – I once had a girl on the phone tell me all about her irritable bowel syndrome. And after she excited me with THAT topic, she tried to shift into drill sergeant/job interview mode. She did not get a date.

4. And from our article, “The First Meeting,” here are some other topics to avoid:

"Topics to avoid at all costs - Physical ailments, rape or violence, Star Trek, anything self-deprecating, anything overtly sexual, your arrest record, Dungeons and Dragons, ex-girlfriends, that time that you got drunk and wet yourself, religion, politics, marriage, children." '

I would add Beavis and Butthead to that list, as much as it kills me to do so.

The bottom line is to make sure you keep the conversation light and funny. Remember, it’s the first time you guys are out – there will be plenty of time later to show her your Eric Cartman impersonation (and if she digs it… marry her!). Ask yourself if this is something that will be of interest to her, or is it going to bore her or make you look stupid. Keep that in the back of your mind and you’ll be fine.

Happy Dating!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, March 13, 2008

My JDate Experiment - A guy's perspective on women's profiles

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Join Free!

EDITOR’S NOTE – A woman in Los Angeles has written the female version of this column. Guys, there is some really good insight in there as to what to do (and NOT do) with your dating profiles. You can find her article here.
********

Ladies, have you ever wondered what goes through a guy's mind when he is searching through women's profiles online?

Here’s what I did:

I went onto JDate and clicked on the “Members Online” option for women in my geographical area aged 25-40. All the women had pictures. The women below are the first 12 that popped up on my screen. The order that they were on my page is the same order in which they appear below.

I approached this experiment as if I was only going to contact one of these 12 women. The following is the process by which I went about selecting the one I would write.

My comments are based solely on that particular woman’s profile and the ones I had previously read up to that point. For example, at the time I commented about Woman #1, I had not yet read anyone else’s profile. Furthermore, while commenting about Woman #4, I had already read profiles 1-3, but had not yet seen #5. And so on.

Here are my findings:

1. I like this one. She is 28, cute (I like all 4 of her pictures) and claims to have been a diver and a gymnast when she was growing up. Very straightforward profile, which contains a lot of information about her. It is right to the point, with no grammar errors. She is very organized and definitely left-brained. But there is absolutely no humor in this profile, nor much of a personality. She seems like she is just spewing items off of a list.

Oh, here we go. She is getting out of business school in May and starting work in the fall with a big corporate office (she also has her future salary info in there also - which is REALLY tacky). This girl looks like she is going to be a major pain in the ass, and will probably try to qualify the shit out of me. I am also not sure if she is going to be able to take a joke. But I might just want to try and find out anyway. We’ll keep her as a maybe for now.

2. 27, redhead. Decent looking, but not drop-dead gorgeous. I’ll read on. This one seems really chill, a girlie-girl. Definitely a lot more fun than Ms. Business School. But there is only one bodyshot, and she is wearing a one piece skirt. Kinda hard to tell how she looks, but she seems ok. I also don’t deduct that many points for her failure to include ‘romantic’ in her check-the-box personality description. Appears to be an oversight. She’s a probable.

3. Hmm. 3 pictures, 2 in sunglasses (including her main photo) and the third out with friends while holding a Red Bull. One of her sunglass pictures is on a sailboat sunbathing (although you can only see her face). She seems high-maintenance, but has a decent body. So I read on. “Likes the bubblies in champagne.” Perhaps I should be taking these major law firm interviews more seriously. This one sounds expensive. And there is nothing more of note in her paragraphs. She also failed to put ‘Romantic” in her check-the-boxes, but this does NOT appear to be an oversight. Cute, but I’m gonna pass.

4. Looks kinda manly. Actually, she’s a spitting image of a guy I pledged with my freshman year in college. And she’s disgustingly thin to boot. NEXT!

5. Very cute. I like all four of her pictures. A pre-school teacher/pastry chef with an awesome body! I don’t need to read any more... I hear wedding bells. But I read on anyway, because I know better. ARGH! Here is the first half of her opening paragraph:

“Im not really into these online dating things but my mom has been trying to convince me for a while to join. She promised me that if i join... not only will she pay for it... but she'll also stop bothering me about going on blind dates. I've had quite a few bad experiences with blind dates... I always end up with not normal guys who (on the first date) tell me about how they farted on someone's face, ask me if it's ok that they walk around in their underwear because its more comfortable, or ask me what i've learned in my experiences about differences in Jewish & non-Jewish penis sizes (if you're wondering what my answer is... I wouldn't know). if you don't understand why these dates were so bad... or you are actually one of these guys... don't even bother contacting me.”

I don’t even care what the second half of her intro says.

6. This girl’s face looks like a train wreck. She has an ok body, but she is wearing a lot of club garb. I am also sensing potential party-girl issues. Did I mention this girl is a train wreck?

Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.

7. Our first cougar of the night. She is 36, and both of her pictures are headshots. D’oh! So I go to her description of body type. “Voluptuous.” Not a good sign. But her 2nd picture has her in a library, and I suddenly find myself intrigued. Sure enough, she is a professor. This could be interesting. So I read more.

Profile is somewhat generic, but authentic. Unfortunately, she is being authentic about not having much of a personality. She seems very sweet though, and I consider writing her for more pictures. But I don’t have that kind of time. I might be open to responding if she happened to contact ME, but she isn’t striking me as the “come to my office after school for some detention” type. So I move on.

8. Awful choice of pictures, but she happens to be a cute girl. Seems like the artsy type, but her profile is mostly generic language and adjectives without anything backing them up. She is cute though, and might just fit the mold of that ‘quiet-shy type looking to be pulled out of her shell’ that I like so much. She’s a maybe.

9. Cougar #2. She claims to be 40, but I am guessing that’s in dog years. And speaking of which, I just took a closer look at her photos. Worst part? I just moved my mouse to the top of the page to X her out, and noticed she is also divorced with three children! Please shoot me.

10. 36 years old. 2 headshots and one half-body shot, but it’s hard to tell how she looks. She claims to be 5’6 and 118lbs, but I’m not so sure. So we read on. Every sentence of her opening paragraph starts with “I am” or “I like.” Blah blah blah blah blah. Total generic job. And come to think of it, her pictures are a bit out of focus. NEXT.

11. 4 pictures, 2 of them are (awful) webcam shots and the other two have her in sunglasses. Grammar errors in her opening paragraph. This chick is a mess. She’s out.

12. Divorced, one kid. Her age says 40, but that probably means she was born on a leap day. No need to go on.

So in the end, I am left with 1, 2 and 8.

Admittedly, I would not deem any of these 12 women ‘exceptional’ – which has become my standard for taking the time to write to anyone online these days. But if I had to go with one of them, I would choose #2.

Woman #8 seems ok, but I am going to have to do all the work here. And her pictures, while cute, were not exactly blowing me away to the point where I would be willing to expend that kind of effort. So she’s out.

Woman #1 seems like she would be a major pain in the ass. She has that ultra-competitive vibe to her that works well in business but not so much in relationships.

Woman #2 is definitely the coolest and most fun of the bunch. I like what she wrote in her profile and how she said it.

Here’s her intro:
"I love a good laugh... not just any kind of laugh though... I prefer the embarrassing and somewhat inappropriate laugh during a meeting, or a case of uncontrollable giggles. I love learning bizarre little things about people. I am a Jew who loves bacon. I am a bit of a morning person. As far as sports... I was born into unconditional love for the Yankees. I am in touch with my girly side... because let's face it; a good pedicure never hurt anyone. I worship New York City. I even venture out into the boroughs from time to time for a good stoop sale or the best homemade ice cream. I am looking for someone who when they call I always want to pick up the phone, someone who can appreciate a fantastic meal anywhere, someone who isn't perfect, someone who appreciates the little things in life, and someone who gets me."

Yep, I'll take my chances with her.

I would LOVE to see the female version of this. If any of you ladies think you’re up for the challenge, pick a random guy’s profile and shoot me an email at Alexander@ApproachDynamics.com with your honest, no-holds-barred findings.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Politicians Get the Ladies

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

***EDITOR'S NOTE***
This is a reprint of an article which we originally posted on October 21, 2007. But it looks like we need to add Eliot Spitzer, the esteemed (soon to be ex) Governor from New York, to our list. Bottom line is this - if your wife has a facial expression like this, you in serious trouble!



---
Random question:
Why do so many people cheat and has it always been that way?

As for the first part of the question, the simple answer is because "you can". You can google that question, run it through ask.com, or Yahoo-oo it and you'll probably find a million and one different reasons. Unhappiness, curiosity, boredom, problems in the marriage, revenge...

As for part two, it probably always has been and probably always will be a rampant occurrence! Take politicians, for example. Do they all have affairs? Are infidelity and adulterous relationships that common, or are they just so much in the public's eye that getting caught is all but guaranteed?

Look at Clinton and his cigar. JFK likely had Monroe and Judith Exner. Thomas Jefferson apparently fathered children with a slave named Sally Hemings. Harding, FDR, Eisenhower, even George Washington apparently wore the "Scarlet Letter". And those are just Presidents!

Then there was Strom Thurmond, a segregationist who fathered a child with a black woman. And don't forget about "REVEREND" Jesse Jackson, who also had an illegitimate child! And how could I not include Cecilia Sarkozy (I know she's not the politician, but you get my point). I wonder if Indira Ghandi or Margaret Thatcher ever got busy? On second thought I don't want to know!

Unfortunately, or luckily for some, the internet has made having extramarital affairs even easier with the likes of Craigslist and Discreet Adventures.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Friday, March 7, 2008

The Role of the Wingman

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Let's keep this simple. A wingman is a guy you go out with that helps you in approaching women. The biggest mistake made is having a wingman that is not as experienced or as secure as you are.



Although the "pilot" is the individual trying to approach and secure a "target," it is the wingman that needs to deftly manouver tough situations (ok- lame reference to fighter pilots...engage, distract, and support). When having a friend wing for you, make sure you are comfortable together. An ideal wingman realizes his function (to help YOU!) and is not out for himself! He is there to open approaches (get you in), help you in isolating the target (read: block her friend(s)), and provide any other support.

Just because you are buddies with someone does not mean they are a good match as a wingman. Married men (that wear their ring) at times make good wingmen because they are less intimidating to women. Although sometimes women want what they seemingly can't have. Women make great "wingmen" as well. They can, at times, infiltrate groups of other girls as well as a well skilled wingman. Proceed with caution though when using "wing women" as they can sometimes intimidate certain groups of targets.

During our Live Approach Training we will act as wingmen for you during a day/night out. Before we actually "move in on a target," we will spend some time with you addressing initiating an approach, following a lead, conversation (OSO), body language, and confidence.



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

More Accidental Porn [pic]

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Or perhaps it wasn't accidental...



Photo by Alexander Stone
Location - E17th Street near Union Square (in front of the Carsten Institute), New York City.

For a confused look, tell them the guys from Approach Dynamics sent ya!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Our First Anniversary - Thanks guys!!

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

In honor of the first anniversary of Online Dating Edge, here is a Maury Povich paternity test clip. Remember, if your wife gives birth to a child of a different race than y’all, there may be a chance it isn’t your baby…



Thanks for making our column a huge success!

Alexander & Stephen



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, February 21, 2008

CNN says,"Be a savvy consumer when looking for love online"

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

On Valentine's Day, CNN.com ran an article titled, Be a savvy consumer when looking for love online. My reaction to the article is "WOW, really?" You'll understand this reaction after you read the article for yourself. Could any of this be more obvious? I guess not. It always amazes me when I read about someone being duped in these ways. Let's all finally learn from these mistakes!

"WOW, really?" #1- "They talked on the phone several times a day, everyday. He was engaging. He gave great advice. He was even supposed to visit her parents in Houston. But then, he started asking for money, with promises to pay her back. In two months, Kate wired him a total of $2,000. Not to mention the phone bill she was stuck with for $1,500. To this day she has not seen him -- or her money."

Come on. I mean really. Naive isn't even the word to describe this. Sad thing is she's not alone, complaints like this apparently flood the Better Business Bureau all the time. Approach Dyanamics rule of the day- DON'T LOAN MONEY TO SOMEONE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET! And don't waste your time trying to meet people that live on the other side of the planet. We have covered this before.

Chemistry.com

"WOW, really?" #2- "Complaint No. 1 [to the BBB] about matchmaking is, well, bad matches. Singles were set up with were smokers, people who weren't religious or lived too far away. In some cases, matches were already married!" Again, come on! Complaining because of imperfect matches? Reality check, nothing is perfect. These matches are provided to you, but in the end it is you who decides if someone is right or wrong for you, not a computer.

Here is a sobering thought about the people running these matchmaking services. One of the WORST dates I have ever had was a prominent New York City matchmaker. She would consistently show up late, had HORRIFIC manners, lacked any consideration for anyone other than herself and once offered to buy a round of drinks (keyword... ONCE), only to call me 'cheap' when I called her out on it after she refused to pay the check. And then she actually sent me an email wondering why I stopped calling her! Yes, folks. Here is an example of someone you are shelling over 2 grand (or more) to find your soulmate. So consider yourself warned - buyer beware.

"WOW, really?" #3- "More than 63 percent of complaints were about accounts that were automatically renewed after a contract or trial period expired." Companies like match.com are notorious for renewing people to long-term subscriptions without at least first giving them a heads-up that their original subscription is about to expire. And their excuse when you call and try to reverse the charge? That you failed to cancel before your original term expired - so now you are 'stuck with the renewal.' If you find yourself in this mess, ask to speak to a supervisor and don't take no for an answer. Be persistent, and they will eventually refund your money.

Or even better, stay on top of your own subscription period and make sure you abide by their terms and conditions. Although their business practices are somewhat shady in this realm (and I don't see the logic in giving their customers a hard time), it is not match.com's responsibility to babysit their customers. Take responsibility.

Let me end this response with a quick comment. There are more than 12 million people currently using online dating. There have been countless success stories, and unfortunately some horror stories as well. Bottom line - be careful and use your common sense.

Happy dating!

Join Free!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Sunday, February 17, 2008

What Can We Learn From Romantic Comedies?

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.


Yahoo's article The Dos and Don'ts of Romantic Comedies, is an interesting take on things we can learn from romantic comedies, aka chick flicks. Funny thing is a few of these movies I actuall like!

Here's a brief run down:

Four Weddings and a Funeral
Lesson: Don't be afraid to mingle at weddings
Our take: Any party is a good place to meet some one! I'd stay away from picking up some one at a funeral, even though it worked for "Chazz Reinhold" in Wedding Crashers.

Say Anything
Lesson: Do make a grand romantic gesture
Our take: Romance and chivalry are not dead, but chodes should be.

When Harry Met Sally
Lesson: Don't rule out an old friend
Our take: Nearly impossible for girls and guys to be friends!

Bridget Jones' Diary
Lesson: Don't date your boss (even if he's cute)
Our take: See how Yahoo! assumes the boss would be a guy. Shame on them. If your boss is a woman, go for it? Be careful, nothing like a woman scorned.

Hairspray
Lesson: Do go after what you really want
Our take: We think that girl from Hairspray was after our cheeseburger! We fight dirty, just try and take our food.

Hitch
Lesson: Don't try and outsmart the game
Our take: Having problems? Call Hitch? No way, he wussed out at the end. Call Approach Dynamics!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Lesson: Do try to get along with their family
Our take: All families are at least slightly crazy. Enjoy the fact that someone elses maybe crazier than yours!

The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Lesson: Don't listen to your moronic friends
Our take: Yahoo! is right... but... "God, Friday, when I went home, I really wanted an egg-salad sandwich. And I was just obsessing about it and I was like: 'Man, I'm gonna make one of those.' So-so, Saturday I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and I boiled them all and then I just I-I spent, I don't know, probably three hours... like three and a half hours making you know, the mayonnaise and the onions and paprika and, you know, all the accoutrement. And then by the time I was done I just really didn't feel like eating it."

The Wedding Singer
Lesson: Do look beyond the mullet
Our take: If she's got a mullet, you need to reevaluate your situation. If you are a guy with a mullet, you need to reevaluate your situation. Oh yeh, nothing like a white Michael Jackson glove and Thriller jacket for peacocking (in the 1980s).

You've Got Mail
Lesson: Don't spend so much time on the internet
Our take: Too many people are keyboard jockies! If you are an online dater, don't languish in the email realm. Get out and meet each other ASAP!



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics