For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.
Now available from Online Dating Edge...

THE PROCESS: HOW TO GO FROM A FIRST CONTACT WITH A WOMAN TO AN IN-PERSON FIRST MEETING






Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Stephen David and Alexander Stone on Candace Bushnell

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

We have received a number of emails about our appearance on Candace Bushnell's "Sex, Success and Sensibility" and we thank you for your support. For those of you that do not have Sirius and want a recap, here you go (by the way, our advice and opinions on these topics can be found by searching key terms in the search bar at the top and bottom of this column):

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWNS – texting, calling, IMing, e-mailing . . . what are the “rules”, if any?

DATING DEAL BREAKERS – what makes a relationship keep moving forward and what ends it before it has even began?

THE RULES OF HOOKING UP – how soon do you start sleeping together, casual sex, etc...

TAKING RELATIONSHIPS TO NEXT LEVEL – when is it time to move in together, get married, etc...

ONLINE DATING – are rules different than if you met elsewhere? Do girls and guys have different expectations online?

During this segment, online dating expert Alexander Stone provided a poignant and powerful explanation of the "dos and don'ts" of online dating. He explained the different goals various individuals have when it comes to online dating, and relationships in general.

MARRIAGE 101 – what do you tolerate from your spouse’s interactions with the opposite sex, what’s considered cheating, etc...

During this segment, relationship guru Stephen David provided candid incite into the world of long term relationships and marriage. The concept of cheating was discussed from both a male and female point of view. Further, the use of the internet as a tool for extramarital affairs was discussed.

And as a reminder, Sirius will be replaying last week's broadcast all day Thursday, May 1, 2008. We have the last two 20 minute segments.

If you are not currently a subscriber, you can sign up for a free 3-day membership here.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Monday, April 28, 2008

Video: 'I Have a Boyfriend'

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Don’t you just hate it when a woman you just met casually drops the “my boyfriend” line into the conversation? One of the MANY reasons I never buy women drinks…

Now is she honestly spoken for, or is she just trying to blow you off? No matter - you’re out either way.

I suppose you could always try a witty comeback (“that’s cause you haven’t met ME yet,” or “how about some quality backup?”), but in my opinion, you’re just wasting your time.

Anyhow, some dude from England has come up with an innovative way of handling things when a woman drops the boyfriend/fiancé line on you.

Enjoy!


She Has A Boyfriend - Watch more free videos

EDITORS NOTE – Use at your own risk. We assume no responsibility for what may happen to you as a result of trying out anything you see on this video.

But please feel free to write in and share your experiences anyhow…

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Thursday, April 24, 2008

12 Tips to Constructing a Dating Profile That Gets Women to Contact YOU

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live approach workshops as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

EDITOR'S NOTE - Stephen and I would like to thank everyone in Boston that came out for our presentation last weekend. We look forward to seeing you guys again in the near future.
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The guys that have the most success with online dating are the ones that hardly ever have to send out an opening email (unless they want to, of course). These are the guys whose profiles are so intriguing that they actually have a steady flow of women contacting THEM.

I remember hitting a point a few years ago where I was handling so much incoming traffic that I no longer had the time (or the interest) to actively search for women online. When you find yourself wanting to complain to your buddies that you simply don’t have the time to meet all of these women, you will know that you are doing something right.

Now for the good news. It is not that difficult to make yourself stand out online. All it takes is an initial time investment and some occasional maintenance. And fortunately, all the tools you need to put together your own kick-ass profile are right here on this website.

Here are twelve dos and don’ts for constructing a top-notch profile that will have women contacting YOU:

1. Check out your ‘competition.’ – Before you even worry about what you are going to write, do a profile search of the guys in your geographical area that are close to you in age and height (and make sure you adjust your privacy settings so they wont know you checked them out!). These are the people you will be competing with in your respective dating pool.

What you will notice is that a great majority of these guys are meatheads. Whether they are spewing their resumes, using meaningless adjectives to describe themselves or overtly talking about sex, almost every one of the guys has something in their profile that places them in the JACKASS zone.

Your job is to look for trends in these profiles – and make sure none of them appear anywhere in yours. After all, how can you stand out if you have the same info as everyone else?

2. Make sure that your photos are in order. This is the first place a woman is going to look when she is checking you out. And if you don’t pass the photo test, it doesn’t matter if you have the most eloquently written profile in the history of online dating – she aint gonna read it.

Check out our article entitled, “Online Dating – Your Photos” to ensure that you are not committing any photo blunders that will kill your chances with potential mates.

3. Make sure you have the basics down. These include proper grammar and spelling, use of a passive tone in your essays as well as the avoidance of clichés, meaningless adjectives and pessimistic language.

Our column entitled, “Seven Keys to Creating a Captivating Online Dating Profile” is a MUST READ and covers these areas in much more detail.

4. Be specific about yourself. This is the ‘bait’ that will entice a woman to write to you. Don’t just say you love to travel - talk about that time you walked on fire in California, told Polish jokes in Poland (very slowly) or how you are looking forward to getting back to Sydney. Or instead of proclaiming yourself to be a ‘pop-culture junkie,’ make a comment about how you think that people obsessed with Britney should get a life.

Being unique in your profile accomplishes several things. Not only will this information get women interested in you, but it will also give them something to write to you about. Also, you never know what could prompt a woman to send you an email, so the more interesting stuff you have in your profile, the more potential women you may reach.

The bottom line is this. The more you can express your uniqueness and creativity in your profile, the better you will fare online.

Chemistry.com

5. Answer ALL of the short answer/essay questions. Not only does this show women that you are serious about the online dating process, but it also gives you another opportunity to include something specific that can prompt a woman to write to you.

6. ‘Update’ your profile approximately once a week. This will put you back at the top of the search list. All you need to do is delete a word from one of your essays, retype it, and hit publish.

7. Include a 'call to action' at the end of your profile. What you want to do here is CHALLENGE her to write to you. You can do this by including something along the lines of, "if you think you can run with me, then START TYPING and let's see what you've got..."

8. Don't start your opening paragraph with the word “I.” This is the easiest way to make yourself stand out from everyone else – look at ten random profiles and you’ll see what I mean.

When a woman is doing a profile search, she will usually only get to see the first few words of someone’s intro paragraph. Having something other than the word I as your opener tells her that your profile has some substance to it, and she is not going to be subjected to another “I am” list. This will get her to click on you and explore further.

9. Don't include any salary information in your profile. Not only is this tacky, but it is also nobody's business.

10. Don’t include your job title in your profile. I know, everyone else is doing it – which is precisely why you should leave it out. It is also boring and non-descriptive.

You have two options here. Option one is to give a vivid description of what you actually do (i.e. instead of martial arts instructor, say “I teach kids how to handle bullies”).

Or you can go for the wiseass approach (my personal favorite), and tell people that you are a miniature golf caddy or you fix used paper clips. For a master list of fake jobs you can use, click here.

11. Don’t spew your resume. You only have a limited amount of space to express yourself in an essay. Why waste it with stuff that can be included elsewhere in your profile? This information may also make you look like you are showing off to try and impress them.

Make sure you leave some mystery in your profile. After she reads what you wrote, you want her thinking, “I love this guy. I wonder how he got to be the way he is. I can’t wait to find out more!”

And finally...

12. DON'T LIE IN YOUR PROFILE. While you should certainly strive to present yourself in your best light, you will not achieve this by making patently false statements. Things such as your age, height, current weight and current occupation are what they are.

Even if you wish things were different (i.e. your age), it is MUCH better to be honest about it than have her catch you in a lie later on (which she WILL). Once your credibility is blown, it is never coming back.

And by the way, this goes for pictures as well. If your photos show you at 185 pounds with a full head of hair, that better be how you currently look. Nothing is worse than showing up for a first meeting only to find that the person you spent time getting to know on email has misrepresented themselves in their photos.

At Approach Dynamics, our goal is to help you present yourself in your best light. Remember, first impressions are EVERYTHING, and having a creative, well-written profile will help you stand out from the crowd - a MUST for success in the online dating world.

We offer a number of different services for online dating, including email and phone consultations to answer any of your individual questions, a detailed critique of your existing online profile, or if you wish, we will write you a new one from scratch (with an emphasis on making sure it sounds like YOU).

We look forward to working with you.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How to Meet Women on Facebook and Other Social Networking Sites

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

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Social networking is still all the rage. MySpace, Facebook, Bebo, Friendster, LinkedIn, Meetup, Orkut, Moli... just to name a few! The press they get is mixed. People finding lost friends, making new friends, and even finding love.

And so begs the question. Can social networking sites really be used to find a date? Dare we ask, to find love? And how does one attempt to meet someone using these social networking sites? Here are three great ways to do it:

1. Grow your circle of friends. Link up with people you know directly, and then try and link up with people they know! You may also have people ask to be friends with you first from groups you may join or based on posts you may make. Just make sure to watch out for spammers as well as the notorious 'Russian strippers.' MySpace (does anyone still use that horrific site?) and other sites have become a haven for porn spam and other assorted crap.

And remember, the more friends you have, the more likely you are to find friends in common. Not only does this lead to that ever popular 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon' game, but it also gives you an 'in' if you like someone that shares a mutual friend with you - just have your mutual friend introduce you!

2. Join some singles and/or common interest groups. Facebook is best for this one. Whether you are Jewish, homosexual, into green dating or you feel compelled to be one of the "one million people who think that Heather Mills is a money grabbing whore" (yours truly is a member), you can easily find an interest group of like-minded people.

But don't just sign up for one of these groups and do nothing - start posting! I recently piped in on a group that was complaining about how all the people they were meeting online sucked - and got a thank you email from the group's organizer... a total hottie!

3. Reconnect with some long-lost friends. Ever have a woman that you met online, maybe went out with once or twice, but lost touch with due to no fault of either of you? Or how about that girl from high school that gave you a woody when you saw down her shirt in 10th grade, but you never went up to her and made your move? Well now that you have been reading this column, you should have all the tools you need to make up for lost time! Hehehe... I said tool.

But seriously, Facebook has an excellent system for finding people you may know that are also members - either by scanning your email contact lists or looking for people that share a number of mutual friends with you. I have definitely found some interesting people on there.

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Some Creepy JDate IM Chat

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

Head's up ladies...

A female friend of mine sent me this IM exchange she had on JDate the other night. Apparently this guy wrote her and told her how he had just gone to a friend's party at a gay bar. Then the conversation got a bit creepy, so she decided to have some fun with him. (NOTE - the names have been changed to protect the guilty)

The bottom line is that you never know who may be lurking on these websites. So always keep your wits about you, and use common sense.

But for the rest of us, enjoy!

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JDate Guy: ever been to a gay or les bar/club?
GirlieGirl: maybe...
JDate Guy: what maybe?
JDate Guy: i've been before
GirlieGirl: lots of cute guys there
JDate Guy: haha
JDate Guy: and girls
GirlieGirl: absolutely
JDate Guy: it was a lot of fun
JDate Guy: lots of dancing
GirlieGirl: that's where i met my girlfriend
JDate Guy: thats cool
JDate Guy: how long you two been together
GirlieGirl: well, we're not really 'together'
JDate Guy: but? i am very openminded
JDate Guy: by the way,,my name is Don
GirlieGirl: do tell...
GirlieGirl: im lisa
JDate Guy: I am bi
GirlieGirl: likewise
JDate Guy: most people have some bi in them
JDate Guy: would you date a bi guy?
GirlieGirl: my girlfriends are pretty open minded about that stuff
GirlieGirl: i date all kinds of guys
GirlieGirl: and girls
JDate Guy: thats great
JDate Guy: we live nearby,,which is cool
GirlieGirl: do you mainly date girls or guys?
JDate Guy: what brings you to jdate ? looking for something serious?
casual? a mix of both? etc,,,,
JDate Guy: mainly women
JDate Guy: no wrong or right answer
GirlieGirl: just having fun
JDate Guy: where did you grow up?
JDate Guy: oyu date mainly men or women
GirlieGirl: where ever my mood takes me
GirlieGirl: tonite is going to be fun
JDate Guy: thats cool
JDate Guy: why
GirlieGirl: just waiting for my friend to come out of the shower
GirlieGirl: :p
JDate Guy: hehe
JDate Guy: have ap ic of her?
GirlieGirl: she's hotter than I am
JDate Guy: hehe,,you two ever take pics together?
GirlieGirl: maybe...
JDate Guy: me too with men
JDate Guy: its fun
GirlieGirl: do tell...
JDate Guy: noyour turn to do tell
GirlieGirl: lol... nice try
JDate Guy: do you have aim?
JDate Guy: i would loev to get to know you more
GirlieGirl: i have great aim
GirlieGirl: she LOVES it
JDate Guy: okay going to sleep hun
GirlieGirl: me too... going to bed
GirlieGirl: but i cant say im going to sleep
GirlieGirl: ;)
GirlieGirl: night night
JDate Guy: i would like to stay in touch
GirlieGirl: play your cards right, and you just might...
GirlieGirl: drop me an email sometime
GirlieGirl: night


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics