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Monday, April 23, 2007

Online Dating - Your Photos

We've all heard the expression, "a picture is worth a thousand words." We can think of no better place where this applies than online dating. A picture, for better or for worse, WILL make or break your profile.

Let’s face it - the photo is the first place you go to when you are looking at someone’s profile. I think this is the one area where both men and women are alike. If you are not attracted to the other person, NOTHING is going to happen. This is why it is SO important to have the right pictures on your profile.

At the outset, you MUST have pictures in your profile. This is non-negotiable, and applies to both men and women. Practically everyone I know that is dating online (including myself) will pass over a photoless profile without batting an eyelash. You could have the most creative, well-written profile in the world, but if you do not have a picture, noone is going to read it. In fact, many online dating sites will actually give members the option of only viewing profiles with pictures.

As a general rule, you want to submit photos which show different sides of your personality. A good assortment would include a group shot with the guys/gals, a picture of you traveling (a famous landmark in the background is always a nice touch - and could make for a good conversation opener!), a photo of you doing something physical as well as a nice dress-up shot (a picture in a suit/tux or a cocktail dress is always a nice touch). Just make sure that the photos have a clear shot of your face and that there is at least one full body shot. And make sure your photos are recent (i.e. taken within a year).

Also, before you post anything online, ask a friend of the opposite sex for their opinion - we are not always the best judges of which pictures make us look good. Just remember that close family members are often not in a position to truly be an objective consultant, so try a member of the opposite sex that you trust will give you an honest opinion.

Another EXCELLENT idea is to post your pictures on This website allows you to upload photos so they can be rated by other people on the site. Although the website tends to cater to a little bit of a younger crowd (18-25), it is still an invaluable (and free!) resource for people looking to get an unbiased opinion on which photos to post. I personally run all my photos through hotornot before I would even think about posting them online. And wait until you have at least 100 votes to ensure an accurate count.

Finally, here are some things to AVOID at all costs:
1. DO NOT submit any pictures with your shirt off. I don’t care how buff you are or how nice your new boob job is - you WILL be laughed at;
2. No photos with your ex cropped out;
3. Guys, stay away from pictures with babies and puppy dogs. Will throw you right into the wuss zone;
4. No self portrait webcam/cell phone photos;
5. Do NOT misrepresent yourself in your photos. I had a situation last year where a girl I was vibing with really well turned out to be a lot heavier than her pictures suggested. Not cool.

Although you cannot (and should not) worry about those areas of your physical appearance you have no control over, you CAN select photographs which make you look your best and show that you know how to take care of yourself. It is our mission at ApproachDynamics to not change who you are, but to help you present yourself in your best light.

Happy Dating!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - ApproachDynamics/Online Dating Edge

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, this site is one of the funniest places I've ever been. I can't leave.

"stay away from pictures with babies and puppy dogs. Will throw you right into the wuss zone"

Sooo true.

On a related note, when I was perusing profiles a while back, I found the most amazing thing. The profile was boring as heck, wasn't at all attractive, and too old for me...

But, he had a picture of himself, in the woods, on a horse, leading a smaller horse across a creek by the reigns. I do believe it was one of the most macho, Marlboro Man pictures I'd ever seen. I think it probably wasn't even him, but I still wanted to jump his bones right then. Sadly, he had gone offline and I never found out if he was bluffing.