Facebook Slang - 'Defacing'

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Here is a term I recently came across on Urbandictionary.com

Deface:

To remove a 'friendship' from facebook due to having either accidentally adding him/her as a friend or actually adding them and reconsidering later.

"Yeah, there was this guy in my network who added me. I thought he looked ok, but his updates were really cramping my news feed, so I had to deface him."

"I went on a date with a girl I met a week before and like the day after our date she changed her status to 'in a relationship.' I defaced her."

For some reason, many people seem to revert back to the sixth grade when it comes to being 'defaced.' They take it personally when someone removes them from their Facebook page - regardless of the reason.

Here are some of the people I have defaced recently, and my reasons for doing it:

1. I removed an acquaintance for excessively complaining about her life and/or her various physical ailments in her status updates. I am thinking about setting her up with a guy I know that does the same exact thing (as it turns out, they are both single!). NOT COOL.
2. A guy I detested from high school that kept asking me to add him. After three rejections, I finally relented and let him on. I then waited a week and removed him.
3. A girl I met on JDate and went out with once. Not really sure why she was there in the first place. We had no people in common, didn't speak anymore and I had no interest in re-connecting. CYA!

Guys, just remember that removing someone from your Facebook page is irreversible - and if it is a significant person (woman you just broke up with, friend you are in a fight with, someone you don't like but is well connected, etc.), it will be discussed in the various gossip mills. You could also face potential embarassment and/or groveling if you want to re-add them later, as you then have to ask them to approve you all over again.

From a dating perspective, the best way to avoid having to 'deface' someone is to not add people you just started seeing (i.e. met online, went out once) - make them earn it! Use it as a wager, perhaps?

Also, realize the finality of removing an ex from your profile before deciding to do so. You will look like a total douche if you change your mind and want her back later.

Good luck!



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
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Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics