How to Meet Women on Facebook and Other Social Networking Sites

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Social networking is still all the rage. MySpace, Facebook, Bebo, Friendster, LinkedIn, Meetup, Orkut, Moli... just to name a few! The press they get is mixed. People finding lost friends, making new friends, and even finding love.

And so begs the question. Can social networking sites really be used to find a date? Dare we ask, to find love? And how does one attempt to meet someone using these social networking sites? Here are three great ways to do it:

1. Grow your circle of friends. Link up with people you know directly, and then try and link up with people they know! You may also have people ask to be friends with you first from groups you may join or based on posts you may make. Just make sure to watch out for spammers as well as the notorious 'Russian strippers.' MySpace (does anyone still use that horrific site?) and other sites have become a haven for porn spam and other assorted crap.

And remember, the more friends you have, the more likely you are to find friends in common. Not only does this lead to that ever popular 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon' game, but it also gives you an 'in' if you like someone that shares a mutual friend with you - just have your mutual friend introduce you!

2. Join some singles and/or common interest groups. Facebook is best for this one. Whether you are Jewish, homosexual, into green dating or you feel compelled to be one of the "one million people who think that Heather Mills is a money grabbing whore" (yours truly is a member), you can easily find an interest group of like-minded people.

But don't just sign up for one of these groups and do nothing - start posting! I recently piped in on a group that was complaining about how all the people they were meeting online sucked - and got a thank you email from the group's organizer... a total hottie!

3. Reconnect with some long-lost friends. Ever have a woman that you met online, maybe went out with once or twice, but lost touch with due to no fault of either of you? Or how about that girl from high school that gave you a woody when you saw down her shirt in 10th grade, but you never went up to her and made your move? Well now that you have been reading this column, you should have all the tools you need to make up for lost time! Hehehe... I said tool.

But seriously, Facebook has an excellent system for finding people you may know that are also members - either by scanning your email contact lists or looking for people that share a number of mutual friends with you. I have definitely found some interesting people on there.

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

How to Spot a Gold Digger: Part I of IV - Introduction

www.ApproachDynamics.com

Regardless of the type of person you are seeking in the dating world, I think we can all agree that no one wants to be taken advantage of. We would all like to believe that our significant other is with us because they genuinely care about us, and NOT because of some ulterior motive. And with the increasing popularity of online dating as well as an increase in ‘street approaches’, a lot of connections are being made between complete strangers that have no way of checking each other’s ‘social references’. After all, Google only goes so far.

As such, the onus has fallen upon ourselves to screen for the wrong types of people, so we don’t end up wasting our time, money and (most importantly) our emotional energy with someone that is not right for us. As the old saying goes, ‘it’s a jungle out there’, and we need to know how to spot the red flags before it is too late.

It is our mission at Approach Dynamics to not only help you present yourself in your best light, but also to provide you with the tools and wisdom that will enable you to find the RIGHT person for you. Unfortunately, not everyone in the dating pool has honorable intentions, and perhaps the most notorious offender is the gold digger.

Also called the ‘status conscious woman,’ the gold digger is seeking money. YOUR money. And she is going to do everything in her power to get it. These women walk around with the attitude that they are somehow entitled to a piece of everything you own. Depending on their agendas, the gold digger is usually seeking either a sugar daddy to take care of her or a man who can provide her with quick and easy access to wealth and power. In exchange, whatever ‘affection’ you receive from her will come from a mindset of 'financial obligation' rather than genuineness. But if your bank account dries up or you get passed over for partner at your law firm, she will drop you in a heartbeat and move on to the next turkey.

And yet, for some reason, these women are celebrated by society and the popular media. One need only look at Anna Nicole Smith, Heather Mills and Eva Longoria’s character on Desperate Housewives for examples. And while men can be gold diggers as well (Kevin Federline and Tom Arnold come to mind), it is much more common for a man to fall prey to a female gold digger than vice-versa.

Now I hate to say it, but a lot of guys bring these situations upon themselves. If you are bragging about your job as a bond trader and your brand new Mercedes, this is the kind of woman you are going to attract. But if these are the types of women you are looking for (and you have a bank account large enough to sustain one of them), then more power to you!

However, if you think you can buy a woman's attention with lavish dinners and free vacations, you are GROSSLY mistaken. And after you get your obligatory peck on the cheek or brief makeout for dropping a small fortune on her, she exits your car and pays a visit to 'that guy Mike' she was complaining to you about at dinner. Mike, by the way, never buys her ANYTHING...

There is also another group of women (often from wealthy backgrounds and/or successful in their own right) that will only date a doctor, lawyer, etc., but I would not necessarily categorize as ‘gold diggers’. Rather, these women tend to be ‘program women’ (a.k.a. the ‘drill sergeant’ or the ‘control freak’) that are trying to play out that fairy tale they have had in their minds about how their perfect lives are going to turn out. These women tend to be the daughters of gold digger moms, and they will nag and browbeat you to death if you do ANYTHING that could possibly embarrass them in front of others (i.e. change your profession or wear last season’s clothes in public). These shallow, insecure women are to be avoided as well, and many of the traits I will be describing in Parts II and III of this series will also apply to them.

Now let’s be clear. If you are 30, still live at home and you work for your father selling porno DVDs out of your basement, you are going to have a hard time meeting decent women. And frankly, I’d be a bit weary of any self-respecting woman that would actually go for you. Ambition is a positive male trait, and is something that ALL women look for in a man. I wouldn't take it personally if she is testing you to see if you have your act together - this is ok, and in fact, should be expected. Just make sure she is doing it for the right reasons.

There is also nothing wrong with a woman dating a man that earns a good living - provided, of course, that this is not the sole reason she is with him. I think the big test is when someone asks her about you, does she talk about you as a PERSON, or does she mention that necklace you bought her or that you are taking her to Café des Artistes this weekend.

Furthermore, if you are in a committed, serious relationship with a woman that has shown you that she is genuinely into you, you SHOULD be taking her out and treating her well. What we are talking about here are those women that feel as if they are somehow automatically ‘entitled’ to fancy gifts and expensive dinners from someone they either barely know or have no actual interest in. I think the law has a term for women who trade physical and/or emotional companionship in exchange for money or other considerations, but I can’t seem to think of it right now...

Coming tomorrow: How to Spot a Gold Digger: Part II - The Initial Meeting

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics