Some Good Material for Your Online Dating Profiles

I found this one on my Facebook page. It contains a lot of really good material you can use in your profile headlines, essays and first emails!

And of course, if you want us to take a peek at your profile and let you know what we think, you can order a profile critique here.

***EDITOR'S NOTE - I did not write this (although I kinda wish I did). If anyone knows who the original author is, please let me know so I can properly credit them. Thanks!


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1. Usually, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is
that I can't wait for them to finish their story so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
that you're wrong.

3. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks
when they've invented the lighter?

4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction
from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch
or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that
no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.

5. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

6. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

7. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just
figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

8. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

9. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw
it.

10. think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

11. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

12. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

13. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

14. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

15. Was learning cursive really necessary?

16. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to
say".

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

18. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I
hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

21. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

22. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

23. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

24. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

25. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

26. I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to
be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight
woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

27. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

28. Bad decisions make good stories.

29. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

30. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

31. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....

32. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

33. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection.

34. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

35. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

36. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

37. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if
I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only
a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still
be friends after this?'

38. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

39. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dangit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

40. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

41. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet
stalking.

42. Why is a school zone 40 kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
for pedophiles...

43. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

44. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

45. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

46. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

47. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I
find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the
fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

48. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but
I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

49. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

50. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

51. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

52. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone
at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and
then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require
such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's
nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard.

-----
Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge

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Online Dating Website Review: Chemistry.com

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With Valentine's Day right around the corner, now would be a good time to set yourself up on one of the various online dating websites. But with so many out there, which one do you choose?

I have been a long-time subscriber to three online dating sites - match.com, jdate.com and chemistry.com. Each of them have their merits, as well as their drawbacks. Over the next week or so, we will take a peek at each of these three sites.

Chemistry.com:

I was one of the chartering members of this site when it first began in 2006. Since then, they have come a long way in attracting quality women.

How it works:

The overall concept is similar to that of eHarmony.com - sans the 200+ question survey (and the prospect of being REJECTED after investing all that time filling it out). You may have seen Chemistry.com's recent advertising campaign where they feature people that eHarmony rejected.

But as is the case with eHarmony, Chemistry.com does not give you the option of searching for potential matches. Rather, matches are sent directly to your account - the number of which depends on your search criteria and your geographic area. I usually get about 4 per day.

Step 1 - Setting up your profile:

From what I recall, there are a number of questions you have to answer in order to set up your profile (but nowhere near as many as eHarmony). And some of these questions were downright weird (i.e. describe the shape of your hand). But the majority of your profile is the same as it would be on any other dating website. When I joined, I had my match.com profile transferred directly over to Chemistry. I am not sure how it is now.

Step 2 - Choosing a match:

Once you have your matches sent to you by the website, you then have the opportunity to choose whether or not you are interested in that particular person. You do this by moving a sliding ruler to either the left (not interested) or the right (interested).

If you are interested in the other person (or vice-versa), they are then sent an e-mail and given the opportunity to choose whether or not they are interested in you. If they are, it's on! If not, the match is removed from your inbox and you are no longer able to contact that person. Nothing personal, of course.

If there is a match, you then move to the next step which is known as "Relationship Essentials." This is basically a series of short questions in which you indicate your preferences for certain things. You do this by once again moving a sliding scale to the left or to the right. You then send your answers to the other person, and in return, they send you theirs for a compatibility check.

The good thing is that you only have to answer these questions once - as they are saved on the system (you are free to change your answers at any time). However, I don’t think anyone really pays attention to them, unless there is something specific you consider to be a dealbreaker (i.e. "earns a good living").

Once you make it through this section, you then move on to the short answer questions. In the short answer section, each person has the opportunity to ask their counterpart two questions that require a type-written answer. The website gives you the option of creating your own questions, or choosing from a series of pre-written ones that are on the website.

But do yourself a favor and come up with your own - I can't tell you how many compliments I have received from women for not asking the same questions as everyone else. If you need help coming up with some, read our article on "The Use of Qualifying Questions."

Sadly, most people end up using Chemistry’s stock questions. So here is a tip – once you come up with an answer to these pre-written questions, save them as a word document so they can be reused next time! The ones I usually get are, "What are your guilty pleasures?,” and "What is the most important thing you have learned from a past relationship?"

Once you make it through this stage (and assuming both parties are still interested – either side can choose to close the match at any time), you are then free to e-mail each other on the website. At this point you are pretty much on your own.

Advantages:

1. Quality of women – Overall, I have been pretty impressed with the women I have met on Chemistry.com. I have found them to be well-educated, articulate and more serious about seeking a long-term relationship than their counterparts on other dating sites.

2. It's easy to use – after you make the initial time investment setting up your profile, it is pretty much automated from there on. Even the short answer questions become almost 'cut and paste' after a little while.

3. It 'forces' you to have a 'back and forth' with a woman before you get to the email stage. By the time you get to the e-mail stage, you actually feel as if you almost know the person. This makes it easier to send an e-mail (and subsequently ask for her number), as a little bit of rapport has been developed. I have been doing this sort of thing for years, but for some people that tend to be a little too eager online, this 'forced delay' is a good move.

Disadvantages:

1. You can't search for matches – You are left at the mercy of the Chemistry gods for your potential dates. Plus, you only get about four matches per day, and there is no way to prevent the website from sending you matches without photos. As you know, profiles without photos are to be automatically deleted.

2. The website also offers users an option to reveal their photographs at a later step, rather than at the time you are initially viewing their profile. This is unacceptable. If they can see your pictures, you should have every right to see theirs. If you run into one of these profiles, just delete it.

3. Customer service leaves a little to be desired. I recently had an issue on the website, and after speaking with customer service, I was promised it would be taken care of. It was not. I had to send two follow-up e-mails before my problem was fixed.

Conclusion:

By far, the most important factor in choosing an online dating website is the quality of people you are going to meet. In this respect, chemistry.com has delivered the goods. I highly recommend this site.

And as for my issue with customer service, while annoying, the fact of the matter is that you are not going to have to deal with them very often. But at least they speak English, so you won't have to worry about dealing with "Ricky" from Bangalore.

For a free seven-day trial of Chemistry.com, click the link below:



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics