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THE PROCESS: HOW TO GO FROM A FIRST CONTACT WITH A WOMAN TO AN IN-PERSON FIRST MEETING






Thursday, March 20, 2008

When She Suddenly Goes Cold on You

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Alexander,

I met this girl online recently and we seemed to really click. After exchanging a few witty emails, we met in person and had a great time. What was supposed to be a quick drink turned into a six hour date, with her kissing me at the end of the night. Anyway, it took us a little over a week to meet up again due to both of our schedules, but she was constantly emailing me during that time.

But when we went out again, she suddenly went cold on me. She got really distant all of a sudden, was cutting my conversation topics short and started disagreeing with everything I said. I don’t think I did anything that should have caused that type of response and things seemed to be going really well until that point. What the hell happened?

J.R.

********MY RESPONSE********

I have been in this situation twice – and it sucks. You meet in person, have an awesome time, have some back and forth chat afterwards, and then out of nowhere a totally different woman shows up for date 2. Chicks are weird, man – but then again, us guys aren’t much better.

But this is precisely the reason you need to remain objective the first few times you go out with someone. People tend to be on their best behavior early on - so you if think someone has potential, you need to take the time to really get to know them before you start envisioning what your kids are going to look like.

Now as to WHY your date suddenly turned into the ice princess, it’s probably one of these five scenarios:

• She didn’t like your shoes;
• You were dealing with either a natural flirt or an attention whore, and she really wasn’t as into you as you thought;
• She didn’t get a pony for her 8th birthday;
• She met another guy she liked better;
• She got sausaged by four biker dudes an hour before you met up, and was uncomfortable sitting on a chair.

The truth is that you are NEVER going to know the real reason she went cold on you. And even if you were to ask her (which is a HORRIBLE idea), you are still not going to get a straight answer.

But then again, the reason WHY she did it really doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that it happened, and now you have to move on. So stop worrying about something you have absolutely no control over, and chalk her up as a poor judge of character for not digging you.

And if she happens to contact you again (which she won’t), do not respond. Never waste your time with some chick that is throwing mixed signals at you. As Doc Love once said, “when they like you, they help you.”

Good luck man!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

5 comments:

Jim K. said...

True- sometimes you have to move on!

Howard said...

Sausaged- HA!

Boston Mauler said...

Hey Alex,
You have a hard-on for doc love?
Get over it!
See ya soon?

Raymond said...

sausage, definitely sausage

SK said...

You think feigning interest on a date is hard? Try doing it with a sore pooper.