When She Suddenly Goes Cold on You

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QUESTION FROM A READER:

Alexander,

I met this girl online recently and we seemed to really click. After exchanging a few witty emails, we met in person and had a great time. What was supposed to be a quick drink turned into a six hour date, with her kissing me at the end of the night. Anyway, it took us a little over a week to meet up again due to both of our schedules, but she was constantly emailing me during that time.

But when we went out again, she suddenly went cold on me. She got really distant all of a sudden, was cutting my conversation topics short and started disagreeing with everything I said. I don’t think I did anything that should have caused that type of response and things seemed to be going really well until that point. What the hell happened?

J.R.

********MY RESPONSE********

I have been in this situation twice – and it sucks. You meet in person, have an awesome time, have some back and forth chat afterwards, and then out of nowhere a totally different woman shows up for date 2. Chicks are weird, man – but then again, us guys aren’t much better.

But this is precisely the reason you need to remain objective the first few times you go out with someone. People tend to be on their best behavior early on - so you if think someone has potential, you need to take the time to really get to know them before you start envisioning what your kids are going to look like.

Now as to WHY your date suddenly turned into the ice princess, it’s probably one of these five scenarios:

• She didn’t like your shoes;
• You were dealing with either a natural flirt or an attention whore, and she really wasn’t as into you as you thought;
• She didn’t get a pony for her 8th birthday;
• She met another guy she liked better;
• She got sausaged by four biker dudes an hour before you met up, and was uncomfortable sitting on a chair.

The truth is that you are NEVER going to know the real reason she went cold on you. And even if you were to ask her (which is a HORRIBLE idea), you are still not going to get a straight answer.

But then again, the reason WHY she did it really doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that it happened, and now you have to move on. So stop worrying about something you have absolutely no control over, and chalk her up as a poor judge of character for not digging you.

And if she happens to contact you again (which she won’t), do not respond. Never waste your time with some chick that is throwing mixed signals at you. As Doc Love once said, “when they like you, they help you.”

Good luck man!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

A Master List of Fake Jobs

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

If you haven't picked up a copy Neil Strauss' latest book, "The Rules of the Game," you can grab it here.
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When you are out with your friends and a woman asks you that dreaded, “What do you do for a living” question, do you know what to say? Here is a list of fake jobs we have used with great success. Feel free to mix and match these if she then says “No, what do you REALLY do.”

1. Paperclip repairman;
2. Lettuce washer at Taco Bell;
3. Disposable cigarette lighter repairman;
4. Professional miniature golfer;
5. Professional miniature golf caddy;
6. Security guard for a gumball machine;
7. Asbestos removal (then cough a couple of times);
8. Quality control tester for a parachute company;
9. Ass model (thanks David D.);
10. Marshmallow salesman.

Also, try to come up with a bit of a follow-up story for the jobs you end up using. For example, when I use the miniature golfer, I like to say “I always wanted to make a difference in the community."

Watch her reaction. It will speak VOLUMES as to whether or not you should continue talking to her.

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics