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Ok, great! You scored her digits, set up a first meeting, and now you are going to meet her for the first time. What in the world are you guys going to talk about?
As Doc Love always says, “keep it light, keep it funny. No heavy subjects, no put-downs and no negatives.”
Here are some ideas of specific topics you can bring up on a first meeting:
1. The environment you are in – Are you at a pool hall, bar/lounge or bowling alley? Do some people watching and comment about what is going on. Is someone wearing a really goofy outfit? Did someone just put 'Love Shack' on the jukebox? Do you see a couple on a first date, and one of them is clearly not interested in being there? Fun stuff!
2. Online dating experiences – make sure you have at least three really good funny/horror stories you can tell. Rehearse them ahead of time so you can bust one out at will.
But make sure the stories don’t make YOU look like a jackass. Pick something funny (girl was a weirdo, something goofy happened) and make sure you end the story by showing that you did the proper thing for that situation.
Now if you are going to tell a story about a psycho chick, be careful! If she is TOO out there, you may lose points for not being able to weed her out sooner.
3. Anything you guys have in common – Did you go to the same college? Were you both at the Dave Matthews concert in Central Park? Do you know any of the same people? Try to make as many connections as possible with her.
But again, a word of caution. If you guys each know someone, but you don’t get along with that person (or they have some embarrassing dirt on you), you might want to consider keeping quiet about knowing them (or maybe even go as far as keeping them away from each other, depending on the circumstances).
4. Pop Culture – Did she catch any of that ‘Client 9 Radio’ station on Sirius? Does she know the name of the bicycle shop owner from that Diff’rent Strokes episode? Who would she rather have in her deadpool – Amy Winehouse or Britney Spears? Ok, maybe not that one.
Before you go out, scan PerezHilton.com or TMZ.com or grab a copy of US Weekly. Figure out what is hot in celebrity news and debate her on it.
Also, another good website for date material is Overheard in New York.
And here is some stuff your should NEVER talk about:
1. Situations where you screwed up on a date – Did some snotty girl pull something on you and get away with it? Shh! Did some Russian girl scam you into a $200 dinner and then turn away when you went for a kiss? Never happened. How about that time you took a gulp of something and snarfed it up all over your date? You get the picture.
2. Your job – She doesn’t want to hear about it. And if she does, you may have trouble on your hands. All you need to convey to her is that you are gainfully employed, ambitious and have a positive attitude about things.
There is, however, an exception to this rule. You are free to talk about DRAMA from the office. If two girls in HR are sleeping together or some guy just got promoted by blackmailing the boss, that’s all fair game. Make them almost sound like characters in a play (that she may get to meet one day!). But again, make sure your stories don’t make you look like a dumbass.
3. Physical ailments, how much you hate the world or any other complaints – I once had a girl on the phone tell me all about her irritable bowel syndrome. And after she excited me with THAT topic, she tried to shift into drill sergeant/job interview mode. She did not get a date.
4. And from our article, “The First Meeting,” here are some other topics to avoid:
"Topics to avoid at all costs - Physical ailments, rape or violence, Star Trek, anything self-deprecating, anything overtly sexual, your arrest record, Dungeons and Dragons, ex-girlfriends, that time that you got drunk and wet yourself, religion, politics, marriage, children." '
I would add Beavis and Butthead to that list, as much as it kills me to do so.
The bottom line is to make sure you keep the conversation light and funny. Remember, it’s the first time you guys are out – there will be plenty of time later to show her your Eric Cartman impersonation (and if she digs it… marry her!). Ask yourself if this is something that will be of interest to her, or is it going to bore her or make you look stupid. Keep that in the back of your mind and you’ll be fine.
Happy Dating!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
We have received a number of emails about our appearance on Candace Bushnell's "Sex, Success and Sensibility" and we thank you for your support. For those of you that do not have Sirius and want a recap, here you go (by the way, our advice and opinions on these topics can be found by searching key terms in the search bar at the top and bottom of this column):
