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THE PROCESS: HOW TO GO FROM A FIRST CONTACT WITH A WOMAN TO AN IN-PERSON FIRST MEETING






Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Pick-Up Artist: A Debate

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Here's Michelle Hill with her take on that new VH1 show, 'The Pick-Up Artist.' Be sure to see our comments below...

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Some of you may have seen a show on VH1 called The Pick-Up Artist. The premise of the show is that the so-called ‘ultimate pick-up artist’, a guy named MYSTERY (are you kidding me?), teaches a bunch of tools, socially awkward (though sorta lovable) losers and no-confidence shmos (or in Pick-Up Artist lingo, “Average Frustrated Chumps”) how to pick up chicks. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for helping people who are shy or uncomfortable gain confidence, but I have some serious issues with this show.

First of all, how are we supposed to have faith in a guy who insists on going by the name Mystery? For me, he loses credibility right there. And his wingmen go by the names Matador and J Dog. Can you get any lamer? Not only that, this guy has a ponytail, wears eyeliner and nail polish and sports some really cheesy-looking furry hats. Not what I would call a fine example.

That aside, my biggest issue with the show is that Mystery gives his proteges canned lines and kitschy tricks or scenarios to use on women, rather than teaching them how to carry on a stimulating conversation. They all walk around the club or bar spouting the same crap to woman after woman waiting to see who will bite. And, they treat picking up women like a game (women are referred to as “two sets” or “three sets”, approaching women and beginning conversations is called “opening a set”, teasing women is call “throwing negs”, getting a girl’s phone number is called the “number close”).

Guys, just be real. A woman is going to see right through all of the canned crap and “game”. Sure, do what you can to build your confidence and develop your social skills, but at the end of the day, just be yourself. Women want real men, not guys who have to study in order to get the balls to approach them.

-Michelle Hill

********OUR COMMENTS********

ALEXANDER:

Wouldn’t it be nice if meeting women were as simple as going into a bathroom stall and tapping your foot? I’ll tell ya, some people just don’t know how good they have it ;)

Unfortunately for many guys, it is not so easy. The sad truth is that most guys would rather sit through a tax class at NYU than walk to a woman and start a conversation.

Michelle Hill has given us the typical female response to this show. What she is essentially trying to say is, 'That kind of stuff would NEVER work on me. Guys, just be yourself.' But yet, despite being so 'disgusted' by what she saw, she was somehow intrigued enough to watch the ENTIRE EPISODE (while learning some pick-up lingo in the process). Hmm.

And while Michelle Hill says that guys should be themselves on the one hand, she then says that the 'students' in Mystery's program are "a bunch of tools, socially awkward (though sorta lovable) losers and no-confidence shmos."

Just how well do you think these guys were doing with the ladies by 'being themselves'?

And while Stephen and I discourage the use of canned pick-up lines when approaching women, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having a couple of default conversation topics in the back of your mind in case you run out of things to say.

So when you walk up to a group of women, would you rather have something creative to say to them (i.e. their opinion on a topic that interests them), or do you want to be the eleventh jackass to walk up to them and say "Hi, you're so hot. Can I buy you a drink?"

The contestants on this show were obviously doing something (actually, MANY things) wrong when it came to women. To quote the Boston Mauler, these guys "couldn't get laid in a whore house." But instead of sitting around and crying about how they never get laid, they decided to take the proactive steps necessary to get this area of their lives handled. THAT, my friends, is being a REAL man.

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STEPHEN:

A few comments:

1. The name, Mystery, is like a nick name. A lot of guys have them. No biggie! I think it's kind of catchy actually!

2. His looks. It's a style, it gives (pardon the word) mystique. Basically it's peacocking. It may not be YOUR thing, but plenty of women dig that look.

3. Michelle's last line:
"Women want real men, not guys who have to study in order to get the balls to approach them." We don't teach lines. We work on first impressions, conversation, and escalation. But more importantly, I see no shame or problem with seeking help when you know you have a problem or if you want to improve something about yourself.

If a guy goes to a gym and works out, is he now being fake? Come on Michelle!

4. I agree with her line, "be yourself". Unfortunately, she thinks you can't be yourself if you are being helped. I disagree. We, and others, help people to be themselves around people that they are normally too nervous to act normally around!

And to call those guys tools and losers... ouch. Not so nice.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Michelle spouts the biggest myth about meeting new people: "be yourself".

You can be an interesting person and not get that across to groups that you meet, especially in a nightclub.

What you say isn't really all that important, whether it's a canned line or a genuinely random inquiry. It's through that interaction that you have the opportunity to show your personality.

Bostonmauler said...

Nice job quoting me from a post you didn't post!
I'm beginning to like you guys. Get ride of this "Michelle" chick, if she even exists! I actually heared that you pulled off a GREAT workshop at Saw Doctors. I'll try and sign up for your next night out.
Don't hold our spotty past over me.

Anonymous said...

This guy's a master of seduction, attraction and conversation! Want to know how you can pick up girls like Mystery? Check this out:
http://www.expert-advice-online.com/mysteryfromvh1.html

Big Benny said...

Mystery sucks- I took his course. They called me fat and in need of A LOT of help. They belittled me and eventually I quit. I guess I "didn't want it enough".

Blizzard said...

big benny, like mystery always says.."I open the doors for you, you're going to have to be the one to walk through, I can't drag you through." They called you fat.. wow?! are you going to cry to your mommy now. "BIG" benny, you are fat.. you are even admitting it yourself in your name. You act like being fat is something good.. which is a BIG problem. You DO need help. It's not because you don't want it enough <-- that's just an excuse. "yeah, like anyone's gonna believe that you don't want girls enough.. it's the purpose in life--to replicate."

It's not that you don't want it enough, it's because you do not have ENOUGH guts to try. A loser who tries his best is lovable loser. You, my friend, are JUST a loser. We're not friends anymore =P