Flaky Women: Question From a Reader

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Alexander,

If a girl i met online leaves me a voicemail less than an hour before we are supposed to meet for the first time flaking on me, do I owe her the courtesy of a callback acknowledging I got her message?

********MY COMMENTS********

NO.

You don't owe her ANYTHING.

An hour before you are supposed to meet? Are you kidding me?

If you are anything like me, by this point you have already turned down several other offers for plans, shined your shoes and have made sure the place you are going to has a good table waiting for you. Hell of a way to make a first impression, eh?

Anyone who does this last minute is telling you that they are incapable of keeping their word and have absolutely no consideration for other people's time.

I have been giving our previous article on this topic some more thought, and I am feeling more and more comfortable with my gut reaction to just get rid of her (unless, of course, it is something serious like a death in her family or she got mauled by a woodpecker).

The last time someone cancelled on me last minute, I called her back and said in my voicemail, "Yeah, no worries. You ACTUALLY ended up doing me a really big favor." But I said it in such a way that she couldnt tell if I was referring to her or something else.

NEVER sound pissed in your message. You don't want to let her know that she got to you.

That's how I handle it. But again, I dont think a callback is compulsory under these circumstances.

Now if you REALLY want to have some fun with her, don't call her back, and then send her an email later that night apologizing for flaking on HER.

Tell her your phone died and you couldn't make it because something came up (pick ANYTHING), and you are sorry you did not have any way to get in touch with her. Apologize profusely, tell her you hope she wasn't waiting too long and ask her if there is any way you can make it up to her.

See how she reacts. Always good fun!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics