15 Dating Tips for 2008 - Part 2

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Here is the second half of our 15 dating tips for 2008. For Part 1, click here.

15 Dating Tips for 2008 (Part 2):

9. Don’t do anything expensive on a first meeting, especially if you're going out with somebody you met online. Coffee or tea work great. If you like, agree to meet at a place where there are other things close by you can move to if the date is going well (i.e. bowling alley, pool hall, etc.). If, for whatever reason, you are worried about getting suckered into taking her to dinner, meet later in the evening (i.e. 8pm) and casually mention that you already ate.

10. Ever wonder how you can tell if a woman is interested in you? KISS HER. ALWAYS go for a kiss at the end of the first date. If it is a girl you met online, the first meeting does not necessarily count as a ‘first date,’ and in that case, make sure you go for a kiss by the end of the second meeting. If she does not kiss you back, get rid of her. This is a clear sign that she is not interested and you are wasting your time.

11. Even a bad date can yield some positive results. I was out with someone earlier this year – Harvard MBA, top exec at a Fortune 100 company, blah blah blah. In between the drill-sergeant/job interview questions (including my favorite – ‘do you own or rent?’), she gave me the name of a kick-ass improv class which I ended up taking. She also made a compelling argument for quitting your job and going back to grad school full-time rather than part-time – which I took into consideration when I made the move this past summer. Not bad for a 45 minute date which cost me less than 20 bucks. And in case you were wondering, I didn’t answer ANY of her stupid questions.

12. Always have a stupid answer ready for any stupid questions she may throw at you. Check out our recent article for some help on how to answer the dreaded ‘What do you do?’ question.

13. When it comes to dating, a little spontaneity is always good – but make sure you set a time limit on it. A well-placed, “drinks tonite?’ text message or email can work wonders – as long as you don’t put yourself in a position where you are now stuck waiting for her response. Make sure you add something along the lines of, “This message will self-destruct in 2 hours.”

14. Dating is not done in a vacuum and people are not robots (well… you know what I mean). There will be situations where it may be okay to ‘violate’ one of the above rules. But this only comes with practice. In the meantime, don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake – you will. Just learn from it and get it right the next time.

15. Remember guys – THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. If you are not enjoying your dating life, you are doing something wrong. Feel free to drop us an email if you have any questions about anything, or if you like, take advantage of our profile rewriting services or one of our live approach workshops.



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

15 Dating Tips for 2008 - Part 1

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

One of the most important things I took from yesterday’s column (other than the information itself) is the fact that there is MUCH more to life than just dating. Even if your game is tight and you have women throwing themselves at your feet, you still need to make sure you have the rest of your life in order if you plan on keeping any of them around. This includes your finances, hobbies, job, living arrangement, friends, your health, and so on.

Every year around this time, I sit down and compile a list of my goals/plans for the coming year. I am not a huge proponent of the ‘New Year's Resolution’ – if you want to give up smoking, go on a diet or join a gym, just do it. You shouldn’t need an arbitrary future date to start going after what you want. However, this IS a good time of the year to assess where you are and where you would like to go.

I have been looking back over the past year’s articles, emails from you guys as well as my own dating life and have come up with a list of dating tips for the coming year. What was originally going to be a Letterman-esque top ten list has turned into 15. So I am going to do this one in two parts. Enjoy!

15 Dating Tips for 2008:

1. If a woman flakes on plans for your first meeting, get rid of her. If this is how she is making a first impression, you can only imagine what’s to come in the future. I had a situation this year where I (reluctantly) agreed to reschedule after a girl cancelled plans on me an hour before we were supposed to meet – and ended up having a really good time. However, after we made plans to hang out the next week, she flaked on me again last minute. Lesson learned.

2. Nothing matters until you meet in person. This is why it is so important to get to a first meeting as quickly as possible. Having a great ‘connection’ online or on the phone is meaningless until you see each other face to face. I can't tell you the amount of times I used to think I had found ‘the one’ online, only to be utterly disappointed when we actually met.

3. Don't rush into things too quickly with a woman you like. Even if the two of you hit it off from the get-go, try and keep the pace slow. Rushing into a relationship will inevitably lead to burnout. Remember, a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint.

4. Avoid going on group dates early on. For the first 60 - 90 days of the relationship, make your dates just you and her. There will be plenty of time for you to meet each other's friends once you have survived that critical early period and become a couple.



5. Even if you have an excellent first date, you are not yet home free. I had a first meeting this summer which ended up going until 3am (with both of us having work the next morning). However, when I tried to make plans to hang out again, I discovered she was a total psycho. Perhaps one day I’ll post the text messages…

6. Be careful of shit tests from women. There is plenty of material out there on how to pass them (which you should definitely learn how to do), but you still need to decide for yourself whether it is worth the trouble in the long run. While testing from women is to be expected, some women take the process a little bit too far. Decide for yourself how much you would be willing to tolerate and avoid women that go beyond that. NEVER sacrifice your overall comfort level for a woman - NO woman is cute enough to have to endure a constant barrage of judging.

7. If a girl writes to you online, and you are pretty certain you're not going to be interested in her, don't waste everyone’s time by writing her back. Just move on.

8. NEVER accept “definitely maybe" plans. When you call a woman to make plans, make sure that you hang up with a definite date, time and place to meet. Do not put yourself in a situation where you have to “call her back and confirm" prior to meeting. If she says anything along lines of “give me a call earlier that day so we can confirm that were still on,” tell her that you don't like to make maybe plans and that when you make plans you stick to them and there should not be any reason you should have to call and confirm that day. If she likes you, she will appreciate that you are being decisive and will agree to meet.

However, if she pushes the matter further, she is telling you that she has low interest in meeting you and she is going to let you hang until something better comes along. Just cancel on the spot. You should never put yourself in a situation where you are wondering whether or not she is going to show.

Tomorrow - Tips 9-15

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics