Online Dating - Things That Make You Go Hmm

www.ApproachDynamics.com

**EDITOR’S NOTE - This is a revision of a previous draft of this article, which I have updated after it was brought to my attention that there was some confusion regarding my position on this issue. -AS

Here is a woman’s profile I happened to stumble across. Read this one closely - there’s a LOT going on here.

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The art of online dating involves honing conversational and social skills within a very grey area, but there are ways to make the person you are dating, believe the words from your mouth are sweet like honey. "Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours." And he was right.

The secret to having a man's undivided attention is to ask him open-ended questions about his interests, and then seem completely fascinated by what he tells you. Ask him questions about what he tells you; do not merely sit there with nothing to contribute. A good conversationalist would also ask you questions about yourself as well, as he'll want to get to know you better. And even though you may feel so comfortable with someone you met online, certain topics remain taboo. These include your ex-boyfriends, health problems and daily grind. Try to keep the conversation flowing, stroking his ego and maintaining your air of mysticism. He'll be hanging at your every word.
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Yes, this is an ACTUAL profile (copied, in its entirety, word for word).

Although she does hit on some of the basics for keeping a conversation going with someone you just met (asking open-ended questions, following up on topics he/she brings up, asking questions about your date, and avoiding topics such as exes, health problems and so on), she does so in a grossly misguided way. Some of these skills (channeled properly) are covered in our article on The First Meeting.

Needless to say, the author of this profile is an example of someone you want to stay far, far away from. It amazes me that someone would put their name (and picture!) alongside this profile in their search for a date, but at least it reminds the rest of us that there are some weirdos out there (both male and female), and we need to be alert so that we can avoid wasting our time, money and emotional energy with someone that is not right for us.

Alexander Stone and Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Approach Dynamics / Online Dating Edge