Speed Dating: A Woman's Perspective

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Here's Michelle Hill with her thoughts after a night of speed dating...

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I’m always up for trying something new, so when a friend of mine approached me recently about going to a speed dating party, I agreed. Fundamentally, I am a big believer in the principle behind speed dating. Meeting someone in person is the only way to know if there is any real chemistry, so why not be efficient and cram a bunch of those ‘first-meetings’ into one night, right?

It sounded like a good idea, but pretty much as soon as I got there, I was regretting my decision. What had I gotten myself into? Was it too late to run out the door? But wait, I had already paid. And at least I would get some good stories (and blog!) out of it. So, I pushed forward.

Some highlights:
- Staten Island guy: Now, I don’t necessary have something against Staten Island per se, but if you start making fun of Manhattan right off the bat (where we were and where I live) AND when you mention that you still live with your parents, I am probably less likely to be interested in you.
- Rude guy: This one wanted to go up to a bar to grab a drink, which was fine and was a nice idea as it was much quieter there. However, he was really rude to the bartender while we were up there, which was a HUGE red flag.
- Jury guy: This guy works at the courthouse, and his job is to talk to all the people who are trying to get out of jury duty. A weird job, I might say. Anyway, that’s all we talked about. He didn’t ask me ONE thing about myself and kept going on and on and on and on (given, only for our allotted four minutes), but you get the point. Trying to get to know EACH OTHER is the idea here.
- Unkempt guy: Don’t get me wrong, I actually like a little scruff on a man, but this guy looked like he might have slept on the street for the last week. Make an effort to look your best for these things. That goes for women too. I advised my friend who invited me not to wear a very low-cut shirt as I didn’t think any of the guys would be making eye contact with her all night.

Believe me, I could go on and on, but I did also meet some nice people. All in all, I found speed dating to be a worthwhile experience. It’s a good way to get out there and meet people you might not otherwise meet. Plus, as someone else said to me last night, it’s good practice, which good especially for those of you who don’t have much experience or don’t feel comfortable talking to a bunch of people you don’t know. At the very least, you’ll get some good stories out of it!

Michelle Hill
Michelle@ApproachDynamics.com
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Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Field Report: A Girl in the Supermarket

www.ApproachDynamics.com

It can happen anywhere...

This afternoon I ran down to the local supermarket to pick up a few things. As I was walking down the dairy aisle (why is it still called the dairy aisle when they have juices in the same refrigerated areas?), I noticed a beautiful girl. She was staring at the orange juices as if it was the first time she was shopping. After much deliberation, I saw her pick up the store brand orange juice (from concentrate). I quickly took action!

Me: "You know, for only a quarter more you can get the GOOD stuff (pointing to the Tropicana and Simply Orange)".
Her: "Oh... (she smiles and giggles)... I'm staying by my friend's house for the week and she asked me to pick up a few things. I'm trying to get the cheapest one."
Me: "Some friend YOU are" (with a smile).

I then asked where she was from and she gave me the rundown. Grad school classes are done and she's looking for teaching jobs, and she was taking a week to spend with her girlfriend that lives by the water.

I told her my ice cream was going to melt, but she should give me her number and maybe we could meet up. She smiled, said sure, and put it on my cellphone. The entire exchange took approximately 3 to 5 minutes.

Lessons learned:
1. When trying to initiate a conversation, if you can't think of something to say right away, take notice of something in the envirornment and comment on it.

These 'situational' openers are frequently the best type to use - they are original, relevant to something that is going on in the environment and they keep her guard down because it seems like normal conversation rather than a pick-up.

2. It is MUCH easier to approach a woman and start a conversation in a place like a supermarket than a bar or a club. Again, it just seems like normal conversation and she will be much more receptive to speaking to you. And by the time you ask for her number, she will be happy she met a normal guy and should have no problem giving it to you.

Give it a shot!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics