The Role of the Wingman

For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Let's keep this simple. A wingman is a guy you go out with that helps you in approaching women. The biggest mistake made is having a wingman that is not as experienced or as secure as you are.



Although the "pilot" is the individual trying to approach and secure a "target," it is the wingman that needs to deftly manouver tough situations (ok- lame reference to fighter pilots...engage, distract, and support). When having a friend wing for you, make sure you are comfortable together. An ideal wingman realizes his function (to help YOU!) and is not out for himself! He is there to open approaches (get you in), help you in isolating the target (read: block her friend(s)), and provide any other support.

Just because you are buddies with someone does not mean they are a good match as a wingman. Married men (that wear their ring) at times make good wingmen because they are less intimidating to women. Although sometimes women want what they seemingly can't have. Women make great "wingmen" as well. They can, at times, infiltrate groups of other girls as well as a well skilled wingman. Proceed with caution though when using "wing women" as they can sometimes intimidate certain groups of targets.

During our Live Approach Training we will act as wingmen for you during a day/night out. Before we actually "move in on a target," we will spend some time with you addressing initiating an approach, following a lead, conversation (OSO), body language, and confidence.



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

More about Approaching Women

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

In an earlier post we wrote briefly about approaching women. We gave three important rules to remember before you get up to bat:
1- "It doesn't matter" what anyone thinks of you
2- Not every approach leads to anything
3- RELAX

That's all well and good, but you need to do a little bit more in order to improve upon your success.

One of the most important concepts to remember is what we call "PROACTIVE REACTION"

Big words for a simple concept - be prepared and then react!

By going into an approach with a clear plan you GREATLY improve upon your results and prevent the dreaded "over-thinking". Once you have enough practice and experience (and a coach that points out flaws or areas to improve upon), you'll see your success rate improve dramatically.

What do I talk about? How do I start up a conversation? During our seminars and workshops we provide a number of methods. One of the simple ones is our "OSO" approach - an observation, followed by a story, and then an opinion question.

The observation is what "gets you in". The story keeps her interested. And the opinion intrigues her. This simple OSO technique is great whether you are just getting started with "approaching" or even if you consider yourself to be a bit of an artist. In some cases, all you need is the observation to get you in and then things will flow smoothly.

Feel free to mix up the order of the opinion and observation if you like, or even start with the story. Some may preach opening with an opinion, but to us an observational opener is much more natural. Either way, happy "hunting"!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Field Report: Stick to the Story

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Guys, my "pal" just made me look like a tool. We were out and I got in with a group. I made up a little story about him and he totally busted me. I thought he was my wingman, but he let me down. Warn your blog reading public about the atrocity of "not sticking with the story!" - sent from Jerome in NY, NY

We've all been there before- a buddy is in with a group of girls and things are progressing nicely. They are laughing, he's the center of attention. Even the guys that were with the girls originally (potential blockers) are laughing right along. You see an opportunity to move in and do so. Your buddy introduces you and then oddly mentions how you were the guy that was slashed by the hockey stick. You pause and in your head you try and recall ever even playing hockey. Your pal has that look in his eye. You laughingly say, "yep, that's me."

That's the way most people would see things going. Your friend, for what ever reason, just made up some story and you went along with it. We are not here to discuss the morality of the situation. The best I'll do is say this- I'm not one for lying, but a little white fib almost never hurts anyone. Almost never.

Jerome, we agree - STICK WITH THE STORY!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Announcement - Live Approach Workshop

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Approach Dynamics will be conducting another Live Approach Workshop at the Saw Doctors concert on Saturday, March 15, 2008 at the Nokia Theatre in Times Square.

We will meet at 5:30 PM in midtown Manhattan for some pre-concert approaches, followed by the show at 7:45. Last year’s event was a blast and this year will be even better.

Web Price: $150/person ($250 for a group of 2 and $325 for a group of 3).

(NOTE: CONCERT TICKETS ARE NOT INCLUDED – They are your responsibility, and can be purchased through Ticketmaster by clicking here)

You can check out the Saw Doctors here:


Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Approaching Women: Handling the Cock Blocker [video]

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach training, click here.

So you move in on the hottie by the bar. Things are seemingly going well, until... the COCK BLOCK! We have all met him or her before. The jealous friend that doesn't want you or anyone else to have a good time. The 'mother hen' trying to call the shots for her 'chicks'. The chode who wants to move in on claimed territory. Good fun, eh?

So how do you handle this situation? If it is YOUR friend, perhaps it is time to either have a chat with him or consider leaving him home next time.

If it is the friend of the woman you are talking to, you have a couple of options. Ideally, you should try and make friends with her. One way to do this is to hi-five her at the first sign of resistance and say something like, "Hey, thats AWESOME! I am the cock block for my friends too. Nice!" Or if you have identified her PRIOR to approaching, you can always initiate with HER and actually have her introduce you to the woman you are interested in.

And finally, we have the chode. Most of these guys are jackasses with absolutely NO game, and will not last more than a minute or two anyway. So use that opportunity to tool him and to get a laugh out of the girl you are talking with. If done properly, he wont even know you are making fun of him!

Say to the girl, "Hey, doesn't he look like one of those guys from [New Kids on the Block, Color Me Bad, Menudo, etc.]? Too bad I'm not gay, cause I would TOTALLY go for him!" Then tease the girl about being attracted to him, and actually encourage him to continue trying to pick her up!

The key here is to keep your cool, smile, and make it look like you are actually pulling for him! Eventually he will get too embarassed and walk away. Priceless.

However, the WORST thing you can do is react in ANY way. Do NOT get jealous or upset or nervous. If you do, YOU will be blown out. You have NOTHING to be upset about, this guy is complimenting your taste in women.

So without further ado, here's a perfect example of how NOT to deal with a cock block. Enjoy!



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Approaching Women: The 'Dating For Dummies' Opener

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach training, click here.

Last night’s Live Approach Workshop was a HUGE success. It always amazes me how much a person can improve in just one night when they make the commitment to get this part of their life handled. Stay tuned for a full field report on our night out, which included a kick-ass time at the Saw Doctors concert, as well as some pre-show cougar hunting.

Here is an opener we like to use early in the night while we are still getting warmed up - the ‘Dating For Dummies’ opener.

Here’s how it works. Go to a bookstore and head over to the Dating/ Relationships section. Grab a copy of ‘Dating For Dummies’ and turn to page 86. There you will find a list of pick-up lines you should NEVER use. Specifically, there are four:

“Come here often?”

“What’s your sign?”

“I must have died and gone to heaven, because where else would I see an angel like you?”

“If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

Now in order to pull this off successfully, you need to convey the image that you really know what you are doing, but are pretending to be a clueless chode that is trying to learn how to score with the ladies.

Walk up to a woman with the book out in front of you, so she can clearly see what it is. Smile and say “HI!” Then look down at the book, look up at her again, and with a big smile use one of the lines.

This will usually get a laugh. React with one of those “Oh my god, this is working!” expressions. Then smile even more, and try another one of the lines. From there, tease her about how “I had no idea these lines actually work” and then segue into normal conversation.

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Yahoo: 5 Steps to Disaster-Proof Your Dating

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach training, click here.

"If you want a dating life that's free from disaster,
you need to invest in a little insurance. As hurricane
victims know, it does no good to buy insurance after
the storm has wreaked its damage. Here's how to get
your own dating insurance package together:"

5 Steps to Disaster-Proof Your Dating, by Kathryn Lord
is a simplified look at improving your dating success.
One prescribed step is basically to be prepared to reject
and be rejected. The best thing you can do in order
to improve the chances of NOT being over-looked is to
have a well written and eye catching profile, and that's
where we come in!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

What NOT To Say To Women [video]

Got a dating question or an interesting blog topic? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

WARNING: Adult Content

We have written several articles about how to approach
women. Here is something you should probably never
try when first meeting someone. You agree with the
terms and conditions of our site before viewing (in
other words, you are over 18!)

The video clip is from "The Ten," a series of
interconnected stories designed to interpret the Ten
Commandments for a young, comedy starved, and sinful
audience. Hell, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than
cry with the saints! (Thanks Billy!) The cast includes
Paul Rudd, Jessica Alba, Winona Ryder, Adam Brody,
Gretchen Mol, Famke Janssen, Rob Corddry, Liev
Schreiber, Oliver Platt, Justin Theroux and Ken
Marino.




Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Live Earth - The Forgotten Post

By popular request, here is the synopsis of a few of our approaches from the Live Earth Concert at Giants Stadium. As a reminder, Approach Dynamics will be conducting another Live Approach Training at the Saw Doctors concert on Saturday, August 11, 2007 at Irving Plaza in Manhattan. Seats are filling up FAST, so if you want in, click here and sign up.

1. Upon moving towards our seats, I noticed a row of 4 girls sitting by themselves. Showtime! I moved in with "The Jackal" and "Iggy" and quickly things were progressing. They all happened to graduate a year ago from "The Dalton School" (Reverse Gold Digger?) and are currently attending Indiana University. Conversation flowed well, and after a little banter, we went on listening to the music and talking amongst ourselves. They quickly clamored for more attention. Props to "The Jackal" and "Iggy" for their good work!

2. About 3 hours after the debacle with the "rude girl", Jackal made another attempt. He moved in on a different girl in the set, who looked like someone had shot her dog.
"Come on, lets have some fun!" he said jovially.
NO RESPONSE...
(Playing dumb and having fun) "Are you ok?"
"She's fine," said the blocker (biatch 1)
"I'm ok," the girl promptly responded.
Another blocker, a bony, weird looking guy in a V neck t-shirt said in a hostile voice picking a fight, "hey where's your ticket, dick?"
The Jackal: "In my pocket, I'm sure you'd like to get it."

Then Jackal turned to the target with a smile and said, "sorry everyone here is so angry... try and have some fun."
As he returned, Jackal shook his head and said, "Wow, what a sad bunch."

No truer words had been spoken!

3. After our foray into the college scene, I proceeded to move in on a more mature woman. A lovely 30 year old lawyer from NJ. She approached me about how much she loved my kissing penguins shirt. PEACOCKING at an environmental venue! :) She started getting all cerebral with me about carbon emissions, global warming, and electricity generation. Good thing I have multiple degrees in related fields! She was smitten. She asked if she could give me her email so that maybe we could get together.

4. Upon leaving the show, I noticed a girl on top of a 3 to 4 foot high divider, which was separating buses that were heading back to Manhattan from a huge crowd of concertgoers. She was looking around and yelling out to people she went to the show with.

"What's going on at the front of the line 'Girl On Top'?" I asked her.

She smiled while loving the attention and we proceeded to have some friendly double-entendre laden conversation.

The Jackal then climbed up onto the divider with the 'Girl on Top' for a little bit, while I ran interference with her other girlfriends down below. As we got on the buses, Jackal asked for and received the golden digits. Once again, well done my young apprentice!

Lessons learned here? It's all about having fun. Don't worry about the outcomes of any particular interaction, "IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER". Oh yeah, and fruity-looking guys in v-neck t-shirts like hanging out with bizatches.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Approach Dynamics / Online Dating Edge

Man Lives With 100 Sex Dolls [video]

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com



Update on the Boston Seminar:
We are all set for our seminar with the Boston Lair this Saturday, July 21. Stephen will be giving an approach presentation entitled ‘How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love a Conversation', while I will be speaking on internet dating. Specifically, I am going to be focusing on what to do from the time of your first ‘connection' with a woman online, until the first time you meet in person.

We are also expecting an appearance from the ‘Boston Mauler', who has vowed to expose himself to all of us (see the comments section of our article, ‘Dating: Take Her to Ikea').

If you are in the Boston area and would like to attend, or would like more information on joining the Boston Lair, drop us an email at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com and we'll set you up with the Lair guys.
********


Now why is it SO important to learn how to interact with women? So you don't end up like THIS guy...



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / ApproachDynamics

Being a Smartass: Busting on Cashiers

One of the best ways to practice teasing women is by talking to service staff (waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers, etc.). Most of them are very friendly and sociable, and best of all, they HAVE TO be nice to you! Just don't be obnoxious about it - make sure you smile and that you have a playful attitude during the interaction. Otherwise it's not cool.

Today were are going to talk about some ways to have fun with cashiers. Many of these women go through day after day of mindless chit chat with countless, nameless faces. Give them the gift of breaking them out of their reality for a few seconds, and make them smile. When done right, you can TOTALLY make their day.

Here are some of my favorite things to do with cashiers. Of course, much of this depends on where you are and what the situation is. Remember, this is supposed to be fun for EVERYONE involved. There is a fine line between being playful and being a dick. Don't cross it.

1. This one works best in a commercial retail setting (Target, Wegmans, Toys R Us, etc.). After she rings up the total, try to bargain with her! Tell her that since you are her favorite customer, she can give you a special discount. Then promise that you wont tell anyone, it will be your little secret. If she gives you a hard time, offer to cut her in on the savings. Tell her she can use that money to take you out for a proper date. If she still resists, break up with her, right in front of everyone!

2. This one is good in places with older cash registers (liquor stores, mom and pop groceries, pizza places). If the total comes to, let's say, $4.64, give her $7.38 (with a straight face)! Act like it is the most normal thing in the world. Watch her reaction. Always good fun! Remember to always give her less change than the total.

3. Here's one for supermarkets or drug stores. Put together a combination of really weird shit and see how she handles it. I was once in a drug store with a friend of mine at like 3am and there was a cute girl behind the counter. We decided we were going to have some fun...

Between the two of us, we had a 12 pack of beer, Preparation H, a box of condoms and some shampoo! We also assumed the roles of 2 guys pretending to be smooth with the ladies, even though we were acting like a couple of tools. Unfortunately, this girl had no reaction whatsoever. But at least WE got a good laugh out of it.

The key here is to have fun with this, and to try and get the cashier in on it as well. If you can come from a frame of just being out enjoying yourself and trying to spread some of that around, you’ll be fine. Just remember that if you encounter someone that REALLY doesn’t want to play along, PLEASE be polite about it - not everyone has this kind of sense of humor (tragic, I know!).

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Approaching Women: The Use of Magic Tricks in the Field

www.ApproachDynamics.com

Stephen,

Just wanted to share an experience I recently had while out with some friends. He was a decent looking guy, I wouldn't look twice, but I wouldn't look away. But something grabbed my attention, a simple magic trick. He walked up to me and a group of my girlfriends and did asked one of us for $20. We looked at him funny and a couple of girls gave him a hard time. He said something to the effect of "trust me." Someone relented and gave him the twenty. He then proceeded to poke a pen through it and made the hole magically disappear.

My girlfriend wound up hooking up with him. It wasn't the trick that did it, but it definately broke the ice. Just thought I'd share the story with you.

-Fay from Oceanside

********MY COMMENTS********
First off, here is the trick, explained fully...



Let me ask you. How do David Blaine (David Blaine White) or Criss Angel (Christopher Nicholas Sarantakos) get the girls they do? No, it's not JUST because they are famous. It's because they have charisma - or at least that's a big part of it. They captivate people by doing something extraordinary.

Does that mean you should go out and learn as many magic tricks as you can and you will be rocking the pickup scene? No. But a cute trick thrown in at the right time, with the right people, can help relax you and your "target".

Personally, I hate that people are ruining the "magic" by puting this stuff "out there," but since Pandora's box is opened, we might as well benefit from it!

And by the way, you can get this pen here.

Save to Del.icio.us

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Approaching Women: The Benefits of Dancing

www.approachdynamics.com

Here is a situation a LOT of guys run into while out meeting women. Many of us are afraid to hit the dance floor whether at a club or while out on a date for fear of looking like a dickmunch.

The fact of the matter is that NO ONE is expecting you to have the (DANCE!) moves of Michael Jackson - all you have to do is move to the beat.

But who better to do an article on this topic than a woman! Approach Dynamics is proud to introduce one of our female correspondents, Michelle Hill, with her take on this topic...

********
Okay guys, you've all been there. You are out on a date with a woman, the dj or the jukebox starts playing a catchy tune, and she wants to DANCE. You don't want to look like a jackass, but then again, you don't want to be the lame guy who doesn't know how to let loose either. What do you do? Here are some strategies to help you deal:

1. Try: You'll lose the most points with a woman if you don't even make an effort. She is inviting you to get close to her and if you refuse, you'll come off looking weak, boring and no fun.

2. Be silly: My ex-boyfriend did not have many skills on the dance floor, but he made up for it by acting goofy and making me laugh. I had so much fun messing around with him, I didn't care if he had two left feet. Even some of the old standbys will get a smile out of the most uptight of women (e.g. the sprinkler, the lawnmower).

3. Twirl her around: Nothing could be easier. Take her hand, spin her around a few times, maybe even throw in a dip or two. Just make sure she doesn't go flying into anyone else. Women love when a man takes control on the dance floor. Not only does it exude masculinity, but it's also LOTS of fun to be flung around.

4. Don't go overboard: By no means, should your arms be waving in the air like you just don't care. Nor should you be 'grinding' her or coming on too strong (unless, of course, she is sending you signals that this is what she's looking for).

5. Keep it simple: If you must fly solo for a bit or have to fill in the spaces between the above steps, just move to the beat. Watch the movie Hitch and master the basic white man step-snap move [arms close to the body at a 45 degree angle, step to one side, then together (snap) and then to the other side, together (snap)]. The movie has some other great tips too, so it won't be an hour and a half wasted.

The most important thing to remember is to enjoy yourself. Dancing can be a great way to flirt and play up the sexual energy you two have going on. You'll have a chance to get closer, check out HER moves and maybe even get yourself another date.

Michelle Hill
********
Save to Del.icio.us

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Romantic Date Places - San Diego

www.ApproachDynamics.com

Yes, I am a born and bred New Yorker. But I do get to travel from time to time, and one of my favorite spots is DEFINITELY San Diego. The beaches, the weather, the kick-ass downtown area and of course, the women. How can you go wrong? Here are some of my favorite date spots when I’m in town...

The Cave Store:

I have to be honest. I'm not sure I want to be writing about this place - as part of its charm is the fact that no one seems to know about it. But it is an AWESOME place to take a date. The Cave Store is located in La Jolla, right off of Prospect Place. From the outside it looks like a regular shop, and they sell some artifacts and San Diego souvenirs. But the real treasure of this place is located at the bottom of the long staircase in the back of the store. Give the girl at the counter four bucks, and she will let you see for yourself.

At the bottom you will find Sunny Jim Cave, which got its name because its opening bears a striking resemblance to W.W. Denslow's cartoon character Sunny Jim who was a mascot for the British Force Wheat cereal products of the 1920's (btw... photo above taken by yours truly). Make sure you bring your camera, and shut off the flash! For a confused look, tell them the guys from Approach Dynamics sent you (then you can BUST on her for not knowing who we are ;)

Afterwards, take your date for a walk down Prospect Place, along the water. There are some staircases which will take you right down to the beach. From there you are on your own...

Balboa Park:

What can I say? I am a sucker for southwestern architecture. And there is no better place to see it in town than Balboa Park. The grounds are absolutely immaculate, and there are old and hidden treasures everywhere you look. Grab yourself a picnic basket and have a nice relaxing meal with your date. Then go for a walk and check out one of the fifteen museums at the park.

Our favorite is the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center. Stephen and I had the honor of attending a private function there earlier this year (picking up a cute blonde waitress in the process!), and had a great time checking out the myriad of hands-on exhibits. If you go, be sure to also check out one of the feature films at the IMAX theatre.

Around town:

As for nightlife, our favorite spot is Aubergine on 4th Avenue. If you are not already with someone, it is an awesome place to try out some approaches.

And if you get the urge for some good BBQ, be sure to check out Kansas City Barbeque, located on West Market Street, not far from Seaport Village. This also happens to be the bar where Top Gun was filmed. Notwithstanding the touristy aspect of the place, (including the infamous jukebox and piano), the food happens to be REALLY good (and reasonably priced).

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge
All Photos Copyright 2007 - Alexander Stone

Field Report: A Girl in the Supermarket

www.ApproachDynamics.com

It can happen anywhere...

This afternoon I ran down to the local supermarket to pick up a few things. As I was walking down the dairy aisle (why is it still called the dairy aisle when they have juices in the same refrigerated areas?), I noticed a beautiful girl. She was staring at the orange juices as if it was the first time she was shopping. After much deliberation, I saw her pick up the store brand orange juice (from concentrate). I quickly took action!

Me: "You know, for only a quarter more you can get the GOOD stuff (pointing to the Tropicana and Simply Orange)".
Her: "Oh... (she smiles and giggles)... I'm staying by my friend's house for the week and she asked me to pick up a few things. I'm trying to get the cheapest one."
Me: "Some friend YOU are" (with a smile).

I then asked where she was from and she gave me the rundown. Grad school classes are done and she's looking for teaching jobs, and she was taking a week to spend with her girlfriend that lives by the water.

I told her my ice cream was going to melt, but she should give me her number and maybe we could meet up. She smiled, said sure, and put it on my cellphone. The entire exchange took approximately 3 to 5 minutes.

Lessons learned:
1. When trying to initiate a conversation, if you can't think of something to say right away, take notice of something in the envirornment and comment on it.

These 'situational' openers are frequently the best type to use - they are original, relevant to something that is going on in the environment and they keep her guard down because it seems like normal conversation rather than a pick-up.

2. It is MUCH easier to approach a woman and start a conversation in a place like a supermarket than a bar or a club. Again, it just seems like normal conversation and she will be much more receptive to speaking to you. And by the time you ask for her number, she will be happy she met a normal guy and should have no problem giving it to you.

Give it a shot!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Approaching Women: A Fear of Success

www.ApproachDynamics.com

You guys are in for a real treat today.

I have included a link to one of the best articles I have ever come across when it comes to overcoming your fear of approaching women. Carlos Xuma, author of the Dating Black Book (as well as countless other programs), has brilliantly touched on an issue that many guys have with women - a fear of SUCCESS.

What do we mean by fear of success? Well, there are many people walking around with severe approach anxiety towards walking up to a women and starting a conversation. What are they so anxious about? Fear of rejection for one. What if she shoots me down? How will I live with myself?

But I think there are just as many guys with the opposite problem - a fear of success. These are the guys that could care less if a woman rejects them. In fact, if they come across a real weirdo that goes psycho on them (like our bullfighter chick), they actually find it quite amusing.

Guys with fear of success are worried about, you guessed it, SUCCEEDING with a woman. For them, getting shot down is the EASY way out, because if the woman is interested, they now have to actually DO something. This becomes a 'what now?' situation, and can be just as crippling as being afraid of a woman turning you down.

And then we have those guys with both a fear of rejection AND a fear of success. This is one of the worst situations a guy could find himself in, because you are essentially in a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' scenario. Not only are these guys worried about looking foolish in front of a woman, but in the event she DOES likes him, they get all fearful about what to do next.

Carlos does an excellent job addressing these situations and give some great tips on how to work towards overcoming them. You can find the article here.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Video: 'Can I Get Your Number?' The Misnomer of Getting Her Phone Number

http://www.approachdynamics.com/

EDITOR'S NOTE - This article is a follow-up on our previous posts, Video: Can I Have Your Number? and Getting Her Phone Number.
********

Before we begin, here is another clip from MADtv of our friend Darrell trying to score some tail at a fast food joint. Love the sweater!


Now let's remember, a 'phone number' in its simplest form, is merely a series of 7-10 digits. In and of themselves, they have NO significance whatsoever. A lot of guys go out with the end goal of 'getting her number' or trying to get as many phone numbers as they can. If you are looking to actually meet women, you NEED to shift your focus.

If you are talking to a women you just met, there is going to come a point where one of you is going to have to leave (ALWAYS better when YOU end the interaction first - and try and do it on a high note so she will look forward to speaking with you again!). In this situation, the purpose of 'getting her phone number' is so the two of you can continue talking at another time.

For a guy to walk right up to a woman and ask for her number within a few moments of talking to her is pointless. You have developed no rapport, and you come off as some creepy dude with questionable intentions.

Now every once in a while, a guy will try this approach and actually get a phone number. But this is fool's mate. This girl either gave you a fake phone number to get rid of you, or she is giving her number out to half the city. Plus, if you try calling her, she is not going to remember you from a hole in the wall. The number ain't worth the paper it's written on.

When you are out meeting people, make sure your focus is to actually engage a woman in conversation rather than 'scoring some digits'. Once you have done that, exit gracefully with something like, "Hey, I need to get back to my friends, but it was great meeting you." Then pause for a few seconds and say, "What's your number?" Its as simple as that. Just make sure you have a pen on you!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David

Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Approaching Women in a Loud Envirornment

www.ApproachDynamics.com

Stephen,

I was at a small pub recently and there was a live band playing. About 10 minutes in, I spotted this really hot chick. We made eye contact, smiled at each other, clanked our beer glasses and started chatting. Unfortunately that's where it all went downhill. I was having a really hard time hearing anything she was saying. This was also the kind of place where there was no quiet area I could take her to. Eventually the conversation just fizzled out and we went back to our friends. Is there a better way to approach this kind of situation next time?

Lee
Ithaca, NY

********MY COMMENTS********

Some locations are just not conducive to conversation and approaching, and small bars with live bands playing are real tough. There are a couple of different ways to play this. First, there is ALWAYS a quiet or quieter area. Say to her, "Hey! Let's go somewhere a little more quiet," and search together. If she digs you, she'll probably enjoy the adventure! Also by moving to another spot with her, you have now (psychologically speaking) 'gone someplace with her' and she will feel more comfortable with you. Try it next time you meet a woman at a bar. You will be happy with the results.

You could also exit the conversation (hopefully leaving her wanting more) and then meet up again at an intermission. After all, the band is not going to be playing ALL night, and if this is a small place, you should bump into her again. So bide your time, my friend.

But it seems like the bigger issue was your lack of something to talk about. So work on your conversational skills, and give it another shot. Remember, each encounter is practice for the next one!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Ten Tips For Approaching Women

www.ApproachDynamics.com

Here's one to print up and carry around with you. Read this until you have internalized it.

Ten Tips For Approaching Women

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Video: Can I Have Your Number?

www.ApproachDynamics.com

Here’s a little clip from MADtv that we came across on YouTube:


Although the guy is a total dumbass and should not be modeled by ANYONE, you still have to give him props for his courage to initially approach and for his persistence. That being said, DO NOT hang in there if it is clear that the woman you are talking to is a lost cause.

This video is also a good example of female body language when encountered with some creepy guy. When approaching women, if the girl you are talking to looks anything like THAT, you are doing something SERIOUSLY wrong and need to contact us immediately.

Finally, notice how the girl responds to the guy’s repeated requests for her number with every answer under the sun other than the actual word NO. For some reason, women have a really difficult time saying NO to a guy, no matter what the situation is. You need to recognize that when you ask for a woman’s number (whether online or in person), any response other than the actual digits themselves is girl code for the word NO.

While there are times you can bust on a woman’s response to your request for her number (which I will address in a future article), this is NOT one of them. Just move on.

Enjoy!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics