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Sunday, April 8, 2007

Smartass Answers to Dumbass Questions

Alexander Stone & Stephen David

How many people have you slept with?
Are you a player?
How old are you?
Does my ass look fat in these jeans?

There is going to come a point during an interaction with a women when you are likely to get hit with a question such as the ones above - the kind where you sit there asking yourself, 'what is she REALLY trying to find out?' The purpose of this article is to prepare you for this situation ahead of time, so you don't find yourself tongue tied (or WORSE, actually answer the question)!

These questions are TESTS and if you are not careful, you could end up divulging a LOT more information than you had planned.

***EDITORS NOTE - Now there ARE certain circumstances where one of these questions may in fact be appropriate (i.e. you are seriously dating someone and she wants to know if you are sleeping around for obvious health reasons). As with everything, these MUST be taken in context. The above article is geared towards those interactions with women where this information is still none of her business.

Let me give you an example. I was recently out with a girl I have been dating, and was asked how many people I have slept with. Seemed like an odd question, but there was alcohol involved (btw... 'I was drunk' is NOT a valid excuse for anything you do or say). I smiled and politely told her that I was a virgin. Apparently, that wasn’t gonna fly:

Her: No seriously, how many people have you slept with?
Me: In total, or just women?
Her: Stop it. Answer the question.
Me: You mean today?
Her: (getting frustrated) C’mon, knock it off.
Me: Well, does your mom count?
Her: Why wont you just answer the question?
Me: What question?

She finally gave up and moved on. Test passed!

The key is to be prepared for these situations ahead of time - and to NEVER give a direct answer. Remain calm, SMILE and use humor to deflect the question. Ask yourself, "How would Cary Grant or James Bond respond to that? What would Jim Carrey say?"

Not giving a straight answer to one of these questions accomplishes a lot of things at once - it shows that you have a sense of humor, a personality and subtly tells her than you are not some wussbag that is going to do whatever she wants.

It is also a good idea to have a couple of prepared answers to some of the most common questions you will face. I’ll get you started:

Q: Are you a player?
A: Yeah. I went 3 for 4 last night with 2 RBIs (then CHANGE SUBJECT).

Q: How old are you?
A: (Add or subtract 20 years from your real age)

Q: Does my ass look fat in these jeans?
A: Yes, your ass looks fat in those jeans (wink); OR
A: (sigh of relief) For a second there I thought you were going to ask me about your hair (smile and wink).

Q: What do you do?
A: click here

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Copyright 2007 - ApproachDynamics/Online Dating Edge


Anonymous said...

As a female, I believe this is a male-oriented post. I think if a chick refused to answer the question "how many men have you slept with" he would assume she's a slut, yes? Hmph. How exactly can females play off that question?

Anonymous said...

You can't. As a male, who tries to be open minded, the only good response is to act offended. Probably not ideal, though.

Anonymous said...

Guys, you shouldn't be asking a woman that question in the first place. If you do, you have no right to complain about the answer you get.

Anonymous said...

This is too funny haha