Online Dating Edge, featuring Alexander Stone and Stephen David, provides online dating advice and consulting (including dating profile critiques), workshops and seminars on dating and relationships as well as individual phone consultations on all dating topics.
'Battle of the Sexes' with Candace Bushnell, Sirius Stars Radio, Channel 102
Consulted by:
Our Services:
For more information about our services, including assistance with writing a captivating online dating profile, as well as workshps and seminars on how to approach women, click here.
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.
Now available from Online Dating Edge...
THE PROCESS: HOW TO GO FROM A FIRST CONTACT WITH A WOMAN TO AN IN-PERSON FIRST MEETING
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.
On a snowy day in the North East, with the Dow now below 6900, I thought a nice heart warming post was due! Here's the link to a video from ABC News about two individuals "Finding Online Love at 80."
She's 85, he's 87 - think she's an aging cougar that couldn't find an available 80 year old? Or maybe a gold digger going after his pension? They met online 4 months ago and are now married. I guess when you pass the statistical limits of survivorship you move quickly (at least with relationships). By the way, she listed one of her turn ons as skinny dipping? As Sideshow Bob once said, "Eeeeughheeuuew."
All kidding aside, it's nice to know two people found happiness. Now I have to find a way to geth the image of an 85 year old skinny dipping out of my head.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.
Forbes has put out it's annual Top 40 Cities For Singles. Here are the Top 11:
1. Atlanta 2. San Francisco 3. Dallas 4. Minneapolis 5. Washington D.C. 6. Seattle 7. Boston 8. New York City 9. Orlando 10. Phoenix 11. Chicago
Check out the article for the rest of the list and how the rankings were determined.
So if you live in one of these cities, and even if you don't, get out there and start meeting people! Having trouble approaching women? Give us a shout. No luck online? Get your online dating profile and photos in order. There are countless articles on this website helping you figure out how to do that. Or if you'd like, drop us a line and we'll help you with whatever you need.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, live workshops on approaching women and starting conversations as well as private coaching sessions, click here.
Well, the price of oil must be up (not as high as it has been in the last couple of weeks, I know)! How do I know? Because "ecofriendly," "environmentally friendly," "green," and "sustainable" are all big buzz words again. Don't take this as a negative view of these terms. In fact, I consider myself to be "environmentally conscious" in my actions. That being said I also understand that sometimes local is better than organic, and a nonhybrid can be a lot better than a hybrid. Has being green become a fashion statement? Not that there is anything wrong with that, if it has (read: it has). In fact, maybe its a good thing? A way of waking up the masses?
Enough pontification- what's the point and how does it relate to this site? Well, we've brought up niche dating in the past, and I just discovered a new niche dating craze. Green dating. Check out the Green Girls Guide - Gigi's Blog for a list of green online dating sites, as well as a vocabulary lesson that includes terms like, ecosexual and eco hoe. Sounds saucy!
I spent some time searching through a few of these green dating sites, as if I were a prospective member. I am all too familiar with niche dating sites and knew the pool of prospective matches would be small. I had no idea just how small some would be! One site found 30 matches for a woman age 18 to 40 in the New York City area. The NYC area extended to BUFFALO, NY! If you are unfamiliar with New York geography, Buffalo and NYC are approximately 400 miles away! Some sites are relatively new and will grow, but remember, with niche dating, by definition, you are narrowing your field of potential mates. (Make sure the issue is important enough for you!)
Another issue I found while perusing the sites, were a dearth of creative or quality profiles. That is not to say a lack of quality people. I am sure many of them are as they proclaim themselves to be: "beautiful soul," "loving Earth child," and "care-taker of all that is natural and pure." If you plan on venturing onto one of these sites, take it seriously. Make sure the issue is important enough to wipe out the majority of potential mates/dates. And write a quality profile. If you need us, we're here.
Tree huggers, hippies, greenies, vegetarians, vegans, defenders of environmental justice, fair trade pushers, buy local junkies, organic heads, and alike fear not; There is a dating site out there for you!
At one point Kermit was right. But it seems to have become easier to be green.
Youtube.com "sesame street - its not easy being green" Thanks Kermit!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including assistance with online dating profile writing, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
Yahoo's article The Dos and Don'ts of Romantic Comedies, is an interesting take on things we can learn from romantic comedies, aka chick flicks. Funny thing is a few of these movies I actuall like!
Here's a brief run down:
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Lesson: Don't be afraid to mingle at weddings
Our take: Any party is a good place to meet some one! I'd stay away from picking up some one at a funeral, even though it worked for "Chazz Reinhold" in Wedding Crashers.
Say Anything
Lesson: Do make a grand romantic gesture
Our take: Romance and chivalry are not dead, but chodes should be.
When Harry Met Sally
Lesson: Don't rule out an old friend
Our take: Nearly impossible for girls and guys to be friends!
Bridget Jones' Diary
Lesson: Don't date your boss (even if he's cute)
Our take: See how Yahoo! assumes the boss would be a guy. Shame on them. If your boss is a woman, go for it? Be careful, nothing like a woman scorned.
Hairspray
Lesson: Do go after what you really want
Our take: We think that girl from Hairspray was after our cheeseburger! We fight dirty, just try and take our food.
Hitch
Lesson: Don't try and outsmart the game
Our take: Having problems? Call Hitch? No way, he wussed out at the end. Call Approach Dynamics!
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Lesson: Do try to get along with their family
Our take: All families are at least slightly crazy. Enjoy the fact that someone elses maybe crazier than yours!
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Lesson: Don't listen to your moronic friends
Our take: Yahoo! is right... but... "God, Friday, when I went home, I really wanted an egg-salad sandwich. And I was just obsessing about it and I was like: 'Man, I'm gonna make one of those.' So-so, Saturday I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and I boiled them all and then I just I-I spent, I don't know, probably three hours... like three and a half hours making you know, the mayonnaise and the onions and paprika and, you know, all the accoutrement. And then by the time I was done I just really didn't feel like eating it."
The Wedding Singer
Lesson: Do look beyond the mullet
Our take: If she's got a mullet, you need to reevaluate your situation. If you are a guy with a mullet, you need to reevaluate your situation. Oh yeh, nothing like a white Michael Jackson glove and Thriller jacket for peacocking (in the 1980s).
You've Got Mail
Lesson: Don't spend so much time on the internet
Our take: Too many people are keyboard jockies! If you are an online dater, don't languish in the email realm. Get out and meet each other ASAP!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2008 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
The Andy Kaufman Dating Show clip got me thinking about a sketch I had seen on Fuse sometime ago. It's a satirical view of every dating show out there. FYI, these guys will be seen uncut and uncensored on IFC (Independent Film Channel)starting February 10, 2008.
Thanks to YouTube and Fuse's The Whitest Kids U'Know
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
Sent as a comment: Guys, I'm in college and feel that finding a girlfriend is the hardest thing in the world? How can I get some action? - Jimmy from Binghamton, NY
Whoa there young grasshopper, or should I say bearcat? You must be confused. There is a BIG difference between having a girlfriend and getting some. Based upon the plethora of information you gave us (read: nothing), I'd say you're looking to get some and not a girlfriend. Either way, have you tried meeting people? Going out? Approaching women? Online meat markets, oops I mean online dating? Email us with specifics and we'll be glad to help you out.
In the meantime, we found something more difficult than finding a date. It's called Ninja Warrior and it's on G4. I never really heard of the channel or show until a friend turned me onto it. Pretty funny stuff. Here's a quick clip off of YouTube.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
Alexander,
A girl that I met online and have been out with twice has invited me out with a friend of hers and her boyfriend who supposedly is in from out of town. Our two dates have been fun but casual, and by no means are we acting like anything resembling a couple at this point. I also have not made up my mind yet where I would like to take things with her (I am 10 years older than her). Should I go?
Stan Miami
********MY RESPONSE********
NO.
Even if you knew what your plans were for this young vixen, group dates are a BAD idea this early on (especially HER group).
My general rule is that for the first sixty days you are interacting with a women, it is just the two of you out on dates. No friends, cousins, pets or mob-connected uncles.
I see very little good that can come out of going out under this type of arrangement. Let's look at why:
First, you are going to be tested and judged. BIG TIME.
You and her friend might be old chums by the time she is the maid of honor at your wedding, but I can assure you she is NOT on your side tonight.
If you have done everything right up until this point, your date should be pretty into you by now. When a women likes the guy she is out with, certain mistakes men inevitably (and unconsciously) make tend to be overlooked.
However, her friend's role that evening will be to make sure your lovestricken date is not letting too much slide. Shoes don't match your belt? Busted. Undertipped at the restaurant (or overtipped and acted like a douche bragging about it)? Busted. Checking out your date's ass at the bowling alley? Busted. An extra pair of eyes on you this early is never good.
And then you have to prepare for all of those questions her friend is going to throw at you. It's a safe bet that they are going to be of the 'job interview' type - you know, the ones we all go through great lengths to avoid in the first place (perhaps this is her way of finally getting those answers you wont give her - clever, eh?).
Finally, she is NOT going to be acting the same way she does when you are alone. Think she is going to chuckle again when you try that 'stop-short' move in your car in front of a girl she has known since she was 6? Think again. And you can forget about trying to make a move on her in front of her friends. Then again, why would you want to?
Decline her offer (politely, of course) and counteroffer with another day where it can just be the two of you. Once you guys are a happy couple that has been together for at least two months, then you can meet her friends (and vice versa). Until then, no group dates!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
In an earlier post we wrote briefly about approaching women. We gave three important rules to remember before you get up to bat: 1- "It doesn't matter" what anyone thinks of you 2- Not every approach leads to anything 3- RELAX
That's all well and good, but you need to do a little bit more in order to improve upon your success.
One of the most important concepts to remember is what we call "PROACTIVE REACTION"
Big words for a simple concept - be prepared and then react!
By going into an approach with a clear plan you GREATLY improve upon your results and prevent the dreaded "over-thinking". Once you have enough practice and experience (and a coach that points out flaws or areas to improve upon), you'll see your success rate improve dramatically.
What do I talk about? How do I start up a conversation? During our seminars and workshops we provide a number of methods. One of the simple ones is our "OSO" approach - an observation, followed by a story, and then an opinion question.
The observation is what "gets you in". The story keeps her interested. And the opinion intrigues her. This simple OSO technique is great whether you are just getting started with "approaching" or even if you consider yourself to be a bit of an artist. In some cases, all you need is the observation to get you in and then things will flow smoothly.
Feel free to mix up the order of the opinion and observation if you like, or even start with the story. Some may preach opening with an opinion, but to us an observational opener is much more natural. Either way, happy "hunting"!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
Guys, my "pal" just made me look like a tool. We were out and I got in with a group. I made up a little story about him and he totally busted me. I thought he was my wingman, but he let me down. Warn your blog reading public about the atrocity of "not sticking with the story!" - sent from Jerome in NY, NY
We've all been there before- a buddy is in with a group of girls and things are progressing nicely. They are laughing, he's the center of attention. Even the guys that were with the girls originally (potential blockers) are laughing right along. You see an opportunity to move in and do so. Your buddy introduces you and then oddly mentions how you were the guy that was slashed by the hockey stick. You pause and in your head you try and recall ever even playing hockey. Your pal has that look in his eye. You laughingly say, "yep, that's me."
That's the way most people would see things going. Your friend, for what ever reason, just made up some story and you went along with it. We are not here to discuss the morality of the situation. The best I'll do is say this- I'm not one for lying, but a little white fib almost never hurts anyone. Almost never.
Jerome, we agree - STICK WITH THE STORY!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
I got this idea from an episode of 21 Jump Street.
The Asian cop had been nervous as hell about his detective's interview during most of the episode. Finally, as he is driving to the place, he arrives at the parking lot and almost gets into an accident with another vehicle. Without thinking, he yells something nasty at the other driver - who, of course, turns out to be the guy that is supposed to interview him!
What can we learn from this? If you are heading to a date, don't do anything stupid once you are in 'range' of the place you are going.
Depending on the geography of the place you are going, 'range' can be anywhere from a few blocks away to a parking lot to the distance from the subway station to the bar. It's really a case by case analysis, but I think you just know where the boundaries are.
Here's what you do - once you are in 'range,' pretend that the person you are meeting can see and hear everything. Would you want her to see you scratching your balls, making plans with another woman for the next night or being rude to a hostess?
Basically, just be more aware of your surroundings once you are close by. I was once told a story of a guy who, while waiting in the parking lot, let one rip - just as the woman knocked on his window! Don't be THAT dude.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
I recently came across an interesting article in the New York Times about the problems successful women have while dating guys that make a lot less money than them. The article is entitled 'Putting Money On the Table', and you can check it out here.
As a reminder, this is not something you should be discussing with your significant other until WELL into the relationship. In fact, I never mention it at all. If she is continually trying to raise the issue, you may have a problem child on your hands.
From my experience, it really depends on the woman. In most situations where I have dated women that made more money than me, it has been a non-issue. And in the one situation where it actually WAS a problem, it turns out (as it usually will) that the girl had other issues as well - but at least I was lucky to find that out early.
In short, if you don't make it an issue, neither will she. Having just quit my job to return to school, I can tell you from personal experience that even earning less money than the Boston Mauler will not (in and of itself) prevent you from getting dates - provided, of course, that you have your shit together.
If, however, a woman is on your ass because you are underachieving or are too lazy to go out and get a job, then you might want to take that as a wake up call and get your life in order. No woman wants to date a bum - and they shouldn't have to.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
A recent study finds that the more a person is worth financially, the greater the likelihood of them being unfaithful. The most frequent reason for their straying...VARIETY. Now didn't mom always tell us "variety is important". After all aren't we SUPPOSED to eat different things? Experience different cultures? Bottom line, aren't we SUPPOSED to try new things? I don't think she was including adultery in her pontifications. Someone should tell all those cheaters out there. Enjoy the article.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
We've seen it before... Two chodes trying to claim their dominance and win "fair maiden's" heart. Word of advice, don't act like a giraffe. They seem so docile, but throw a woman in the mix.... it has bad written all over it. More lessons from the animal kingdom later.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
"Most guys know from the get-go whether or not they see potential in a woman. There's that inner voice that tells you this is someone worth pursuing.
When the first date ends, you're not even thinking about playing games. You know you want a second date. You wait your standard two days, call to set up that date and get the dreaded voicemail.
You leave a heartfelt message, but after three days it becomes clear this great gal is not calling you back. Where did you go wrong? Were you the only one feeling sparks over lattes?"
There are a few characteristics that were left out, including "Low Confidence Larry" (not to be confused with 'Leisure Suit Larry'), as pointed out by a commenter on the page.
Need help with first impressions, approaching women, or want to improve your pickup game? Check out our Live Approach Training Workshops.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.
There's nothing wrong with being picky. It use to be that if one found it difficult to find their "ideal" match friends would say, "you're being too picky!" It doesn't seem to be that way for many people these days. Because of the internet people from all walks of life have been brought closer together.
Looking for someone tall? Small? Ivy graduate? Wealthy? Disabled? There is a dating website out there for you. CNN.com recently posted an interesting article on the topic, check it out. And if you need help crafting that PERFECT profile or just want to touch up yours, check out our services page.
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach training, click here.
Today we welcome back Michelle Hill with some insight on listening to that little voice inside your head...
******** In this crazy world of dating (heck, in this crazy life), I think we can always learn from our experiences. I learned a long time ago to trust my gut when it comes to men. I had always done so in other areas of my life, but for some reason, I had neglected to carry that philosophy over into my dating life. Now that I use this simple methodology, I can avoid the ‘undesirables’ right off the bat.
In the following examples, I had an inkling of what was to come but proceeded to move forward with each of these guys, despite that little voice in my head that told me not to.
BORING GUY When given the opportunity to describe himself, this is what he wrote:
“Hi. I am not sure i can describe myself on an paragraph. I rather talk to you on phone or in person and tell you all about me. So feel free to ask. What am I looking for? What are we all looking for?”
Yawn. Hello? This was his first opportunity to make a good impression and differentiate himself from the rest of the drones out there, and this is the best he could do? I was already bored by this guy but yet for some reason I agreed to meet up with him. Surprise, surprise, he was about as spicy as white rice.
SEX GUY After exchanging MAYBE two emails, this guy jumped very quickly into very flirty, almost provocative discussions:
“You are not trying to get frisky now are ya. I might like that :) ok, I have to blackmail you. What do you think is my sexiest feature and then I will answer :)”
I admit it, I was sort of intrigued. However, on our first real date, he planted a kiss on me in the middle of the street before we even got to the bar, and I spent half of the rest of the night telling him to take it easy because he was coming on WAY too strong. It should come as no shocker that after we went out for a few weeks, he asked if we could have a strictly sexual relationship.
DUMB GUY This was one of his emails to me, WORD FOR WORD:
“so how was your new years? what did you do?
me I went to a house party in brooklyn with my brother who is home from school and abunch of friends, it was a pritty low key new years this year.
and your from Philly thats cool Iv bin there a cupple times...
hope to talk to you soon you good-time-having lady”
I can understand a few typos here and there or maybe a missed punctuation mark, but “cupple”? “pritty”? “bin”? Needless to say, when we spoke on the phone, it was like having a conversation with a six year old. At least I was smart enough to not go out with this one.
The big lesson here is that if you suspect that something is not quite right with someone you are talking to, your gut is probably onto something – listen to your instincts! May as well weed out the freaks, weirdos, lame ones (fill in the blank here with whatever applies) early on and save yourself the trouble later!
Michelle Hill ******** Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach training, click here.
Last night’s Live Approach Workshop was a HUGE success. It always amazes me how much a person can improve in just one night when they make the commitment to get this part of their life handled. Stay tuned for a full field report on our night out, which included a kick-ass time at the Saw Doctors concert, as well as some pre-show cougar hunting.
Here is an opener we like to use early in the night while we are still getting warmed up - the ‘Dating For Dummies’ opener.
Here’s how it works. Go to a bookstore and head over to the Dating/ Relationships section. Grab a copy of ‘Dating For Dummies’ and turn to page 86. There you will find a list of pick-up lines you should NEVER use. Specifically, there are four:
“Come here often?”
“What’s your sign?”
“I must have died and gone to heaven, because where else would I see an angel like you?”
“If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
Now in order to pull this off successfully, you need to convey the image that you really know what you are doing, but are pretending to be a clueless chode that is trying to learn how to score with the ladies.
Walk up to a woman with the book out in front of you, so she can clearly see what it is. Smile and say “HI!” Then look down at the book, look up at her again, and with a big smile use one of the lines.
This will usually get a laugh. React with one of those “Oh my god, this is working!” expressions. Then smile even more, and try another one of the lines. From there, tease her about how “I had no idea these lines actually work” and then segue into normal conversation.
Good luck!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach training, click here.
During our workshops and seminars, as well from comments left on our blog, we have found that a common problem faced by guys who date multiple women is keeping track of key information, as well as remembering who they said what to. If this sounds like you, we have put together a ‘Contact Sheet’ to help you out. Check out the bottom of our services page to download this free pdf.
If you like the sheet, or if any of our other articles have helped you out or made you laugh, drop us an email and let us know. All emails will be responded to by either myself or Alexander.
Or if you’d like, click on the ‘donate’ button and buy us a beer!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach training, click here.
"If you want a dating life that's free from disaster, you need to invest in a little insurance. As hurricane victims know, it does no good to buy insurance after the storm has wreaked its damage. Here's how to get your own dating insurance package together:"
5 Steps to Disaster-Proof Your Dating, by Kathryn Lord is a simplified look at improving your dating success. One prescribed step is basically to be prepared to reject and be rejected. The best thing you can do in order to improve the chances of NOT being over-looked is to have a well written and eye catching profile, and that's where we come in!
Alexander Stone & Stephen David Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics
