Dating: Go With Your Gut

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Today we welcome back Michelle Hill with some insight on listening to that little voice inside your head...

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In this crazy world of dating (heck, in this crazy life), I think we can always learn from our experiences. I learned a long time ago to trust my gut when it comes to men. I had always done so in other areas of my life, but for some reason, I had neglected to carry that philosophy over into my dating life. Now that I use this simple methodology, I can avoid the ‘undesirables’ right off the bat.

In the following examples, I had an inkling of what was to come but proceeded to move forward with each of these guys, despite that little voice in my head that told me not to.

BORING GUY
When given the opportunity to describe himself, this is what he wrote:

“Hi. I am not sure i can describe myself on an paragraph. I rather talk to you on phone or in person and tell you all about me. So feel free to ask. What am I looking for? What are we all looking for?”

Yawn. Hello? This was his first opportunity to make a good impression and differentiate himself from the rest of the drones out there, and this is the best he could do? I was already bored by this guy but yet for some reason I agreed to meet up with him. Surprise, surprise, he was about as spicy as white rice.

SEX GUY
After exchanging MAYBE two emails, this guy jumped very quickly into very flirty, almost provocative discussions:

“You are not trying to get frisky now are ya. I might like that :) ok, I have to blackmail you. What do you think is my sexiest feature and then I will answer :)”

I admit it, I was sort of intrigued. However, on our first real date, he planted a kiss on me in the middle of the street before we even got to the bar, and I spent half of the rest of the night telling him to take it easy because he was coming on WAY too strong. It should come as no shocker that after we went out for a few weeks, he asked if we could have a strictly sexual relationship.

DUMB GUY
This was one of his emails to me, WORD FOR WORD:

“so how was your new years?
what did you do?

me I went to a house party in brooklyn with my brother who is home from school and abunch of friends, it was a pritty low key new years this year.

and your from Philly thats cool Iv bin there a cupple times...

hope to talk to you soon
you good-time-having lady”

I can understand a few typos here and there or maybe a missed punctuation mark, but “cupple”? “pritty”? “bin”? Needless to say, when we spoke on the phone, it was like having a conversation with a six year old. At least I was smart enough to not go out with this one.

The big lesson here is that if you suspect that something is not quite right with someone you are talking to, your gut is probably onto something – listen to your instincts! May as well weed out the freaks, weirdos, lame ones (fill in the blank here with whatever applies) early on and save yourself the trouble later!

Michelle Hill
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Alexander Stone & Stephen David
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Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics