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THE PROCESS: HOW TO GO FROM A FIRST CONTACT WITH A WOMAN TO AN IN-PERSON FIRST MEETING






Thursday, July 26, 2007

Online Dating: What to Do if She Doesn't Write You Back

Got a dating question? Write to us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com.

I am happy to say that the Boston seminar was a HUGE success. About 40 guys came out to hear our presentation on women and dating. Stephen gave a speech entitled, 'How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love a Conversation', followed by my presentation entitled 'Ok, She Sent Me a Message. Now What?', in which I showed everyone how to get from a first contact with a woman to a first meeting. Stay tuned to the blog for future articles on the specific topics we covered.

Today's article stems from a question I received during the Q&A portion of my presentation. One of the side effects of getting really good at this stuff is that you hit a point where it is not physically possible to write back all the women you are going to be hearing from (and I'm just talking about the ones you actually WANT to write back!). This is what they call in life a 'good problem'. But a problem nonetheless.

I was then asked if this same rationale applies to women that don't write guys back. Now the guy who asked me this has been in situations where he was too busy to write certain women back (poor bastard, I know), and was hoping that if a woman did not write HIM back, he could try and reconnect by sending another email.

********MY COMMENTS********

NO.

Well, you can (and should) try, as you have nothing to lose. But don't hold your breath.

One of the big topics I spoke about was a woman's interest level in a guy. My point was that if a woman has moderate to low interest level in you, then you should get rid of her immediately and move on to friendlier waters. This is another reason why you should be dating multiple women simultaneously until you find 'the one'. Yes, she is doing it too.

Let's look at this rationally. If a woman is really into a guy, is she going to write him back? Uhh... yeah. But if she is unsure about someone and something better comes up, is that guy going to be a priority for her? Not at all.

So here's what you do. Send a quick, one line email:
"What, playing hard to get already? Nice! Talk to me..." Then see what happens.

From my own experience, I will usually (about 2/3 of the time) get a response. Generally something along the lines of "sorry, I was busy". But I can also tell you that I have NEVER actually made it to a date with any of these women. They are either TRULY too busy to meet people, have low to moderate interest level or are just flaky.

In my opinion, try sending the quick email if you wish, but focus on the ones that actually write you back.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did the Boston Mauler ever reveal himself?

Alexander Stone said...

Regrettably no... although I did have my left nipple grabbed by some girl with terets.