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Friday, July 27, 2007

Dating: When Should I Get Engaged, and How? [video]

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hey guys. I can't believe I am actually writing in to a website with a question. I needed an "outside" opinion and you 2 are about as outside as it gets. Am I ready for marriage and if I am how should I propose?
Tom D., Miami, FL

********MY COMMENTS********
Heh? What?

You really gave us a lot to go on, dude. How would we know if you're ready? Only YOU know if you are ready or not. Some say that since you are asking, you are not ready. I don't necessarily agree with that since you brought up engagement scenarios. In my humble and nonprofessional opinion, that makes it seem like the answer is, "yes, I'm ready, but nervous."

Ask yourself a few questions:

1. Do you "know" and are happy with the person you are in a relationship with?
2. Are you emotionally secure with your past? In other words, have you "moved on" from past relationships, both good and bad?
3. Do you know how to compromise and are you READY to compromise? Marriage is about give and take.
4. Are you prepared to be honest and share your life with this person? Further, have you been totally honest to this point? We take marriage seriously and hope you will as well.
5. When you look at her, can you envision spending the rest of your life with her?
6. Do the two of you have a common plan for the future - i.e. children, travel, priorities?
7. Are you yourself stable, unrelated to her (financially, emotionally, career-wise, etc.)?

As for engagement scenarios, the sky's the limit. But make sure you do something that is special, memorable, and meaningful to HER. Let's face it, it should be one of the happiest days of your life, but for MOST it means more to the woman (stereotypical?).

Just promise us one thing. DON'T be a tool and pop the question at a crowded venue such as a sports arena (unless there is some sort of sentimental reason for it, i.e. you met there). Not only is this scenario embarrassing and cheesy, but it is also selfish on your part. Remember, this moment is all about HER.

And for those of you who think that popping the question in a public place will guarantee you a 'yes', think again. Check out THIS jackass...



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

was this real? where did it happen?
by the way, your question #5 was the best one

Tommy said...

FWI- I enjoyed your post. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years and she has brought up the subject. I read through the questions you posed. I love this girl. Your site popped up just when I was in deep thought about the topic, it was like a sign!