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Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Going For the First Kiss

We’ve all been there...

You meet a girl you like, get her phone number, chat for a little bit and then ask her out on a date. Then date night comes and you have a great time - and you are pretty sure she does too. She touches you several times, laughs at your jokes, ignores her cell phone and seems genuinely interested in getting to know you. As the date winds up, you are faced with that dreaded internal question of whether or not you should go for the kiss.


Here is the rule. If you are interested in the woman you are out with, always go for the kiss at the end of the FIRST DATE. If it is a girl you met online, kiss her the SECOND time you are out (remember, the ‘first meeting’ with someone you met online is not the first ‘date’ - it is solely for the purpose of getting to know each other and deciding whether you want to see them again). Even if you can’t get a read on her interest level, go for it anyway - you have NOTHING to lose.

Now I am NOT saying that you should necessarily go for a full-scale makeout on a first date (but if you can, great!). Just give her a kiss on the lips and see how she handles it. If she kisses you back, awesome! Take her out again (and remember to keep escalating on future dates).

If she turns her head or says something lame like ‘I don’t kiss on the first date,’ throw her number away. Think back to your previous dates - did any of the ones that worked out have any problem kissing you early on? Didn’t think so.

Going for the kiss early on allows you to find out right off the bat if she is interested in you. You are also weeding out those women that are not interested in you as well as the ‘professional daters’ (who are only out with you because they enjoy the free food and entertainment men provide, but have no actual interest in the guys they date). For you economists out there, think of it as a ‘cost-effectiveness tool.’

You are also making a bold, confident move by kissing her. Not only does this raise your social value in her eyes, but it also separates you from the scores of other chodes that lacked the cojones to go for it.

Finally, it keeps you out of the dreaded ‘friend zone.’ You need to ignore that ‘chump’ voice in your head that keeps telling you that ‘this one is special, and if you try to kiss her and she rejects you, you will have screwed the whole thing up.’ If you don’t kiss her early on, she is going to start to wonder what is going on, and will start to lose attraction for you.

Good luck!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Approach Dynamics / Online Dating Edge

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