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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

How to Spot a Gold Digger: Part II of IV - The Initial Meeting

This is the second part of a four-part series.
Click here for ‘How to Spot a Gold Digger: Part I of IV- Introduction'
You would think that gold diggers would have some sort of expertise in covering their tracks, but surprisingly, many of these women OVERTLY flash their true intentions - all you have to do is listen! In most cases, you can weed these women out right from the get-go and move on to friendlier waters. Here's what to look out for when you first encounter one of these women:


In the online dating world, and make it REAL easy. Check and see if she has money or power listed as one of her 'turn-ons' and if she has any 'salary requirements' for her date. If either one of these pop up, RUN for the nearest exit.

On Jdate, look at her personality traits and see if ‘high-maintenance’ is checked off. You would be surprised how many women have this listed (well, then again...). Also, check her written paragraph about her ‘ideal first date.’ If she is talking about nice restaurants and fine wine rather than getting to know you better, you’ve got yourself a problem child. Finally, look at her blurb on what she learned from her past relationships. A lot of times they’ll give up some REAL good info in there (this is also a good section on Jdate for weeding out psychos!).

Now for ‘research purposes only', I contacted some women on Match and Jdate who met the above criteria to try and find out what gives. Here is a sampling of what they wrote back:

"No, I am not rich and the father of my children does not sit at home either it is as simple as that."

"You seem rather hostile... what is with that opening email? Intersting game plan...."

Don't even bother trying to bust on these women - they can't take a joke. Just move on.

In Person:

Now with real-life interactions, you have to pay a little closer attention. When you first met her, how long did it take for the ‘what do you do?’ question to come out of her mouth? And how did she react when you told her that you were the sour cream manager at Wendys or a miniature golf caddy? Did she laugh and change the subject, or did she seem annoyed and ask you again?

Also, was she asking you questions in an attempt to genuinely get to know you better, or was she trying to qualify you with inappropriate questions from the moment you began talking to her (i.e. ‘what do you do’, ‘how much money do you make’, ‘what kind of car do you drive’, ‘what do your parents do’, ‘do you own or rent’)?

Case in point. There was a girl I was corresponding with on that kept asking me what I did for a living. Each time she would ask, my responses got more and more outrageous. I should also note here that her emails otherwise seemed witty and playful. However, when I asked for her number, here was her response:

"My cell number is 917-XXX-XXXX. But I still don't know what you do. I can tolerate most jobs but if yours is rather scatalogical or bodily function involved-ok a man with a bedpan in certain situations could be attractive-our future tryst might not work."

One thing you are going to have to do is have a pre-planned, smartass answer for any inappropriate questions IN ADVANCE. Sometimes women will ask an inappropriate question innocently, so being a wiseass here is a good test to see what her true intentions are. Stay tuned for Part IV of this series where I'll give you some examples of how to respond to these questions.

Now if she is REALLY being a pain in the ass, I’ll tell her that I am looking for a sugar momma to take care of me so that I can be a house husband. And after I get bored of watching Oprah and the Price is Right, I am going to divorce her and take half her money. Then I get a good laugh at her reaction and WALK AWAY.

Coming tomorrow, 'How to Spot a Gold Digger: Part III - The First Date and Beyond'

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

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