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Monday, July 9, 2007

How to Handle Rude Women - The 'Low Self-Esteem' Comeback

Well, it's been quite a week...

I am happy to say that my first full week off in nearly two years was a HUGE success. Monday I got to see Rush totally rock out at Jones Beach (with a nice intro to Tom Sawyer, courtesy of our friends at South Park), Tuesday was golf with Stephen (who proceeded to make the 'beer bitch' blush... it was a beautiful thing!) and Wednesday through Friday had me taking in a little bit of the Montreal Jazz Festival. For those of you within driving distance of Montreal, you NEED to get up there. Stay tuned for an article on some excellent date spots while in town.

And then there was Saturday. While I could have done without the multiple Al Gore appearances, Live Earth certainly lived up to its billing - as did our Live Approach Training. The crowd was friendly, and there were several number/email closes throughout the day... and as promised, here's a shout out to the girls from IU!

But our most valuable lesson of the day (other than some environmental stuff that only Stephen can understand) came from the approach that DIDN'T work. Right before Ludacris took the stage, our row was blessed with the presence of a group of four (three women and their gay friend), including the girl you see here on the right. This girl had attitude right from the beginning, even going as far as not moving out of the way as other people were trying to get by. A bunch of us in the row were chatting when they sat down and we tried to include them, but they weren't having it. Not surprisingly, Stephen makes his move...

Stephen: (pointing to a tattoo on the girl's right ankle) "What does that say?"
Girl's friend: "It says ^&%% (inaudible)"
Stephen: (playfully) "Can't she answer for herself?"
Friend: "She didn't hear you"

Then the conversation just went from bad to worse...

Friend: "Can you, like, move down please? You are in one of OUR seats"
Stephen: "No one is sitting here"
Friend: "Well, her BOYFRIEND isn't going to be too happy when he gets here"
Stephen: (gives her the 'yeah, sure' look)
Friend: "And by the way, your SHIRT is really FUNNY looking"
Stephen: (laughs it off, gives them that 'you guys are REALLY pathetic' look and turns away)

What you have to realize about people that react to you like this is that they have (many) other personal issues in their lives that have NOTHING to do with you. Clinical psychiatrist Dr. Paul Dobransky gives us an EXCELLENT way to handle people that are unnecessarily rude and obnoxious to you. Rather than steal his thunder, watch the video below on "The Low Self-Esteem Comeback'...

Video taken from David Deangelo's 'Deep Inner Game', courtesy of YouTube

I can tell you from personal experience, this comeback REALLY WORKS. As was the case with our Bullfighter Chick, when someone lashes out at you like this, it has nothing to do with you. It's HER (or his) problem. Just remember not to try this on your boss! But that's another article for another day...


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Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics


Anonymous said...

Stephen- I enjoyed your talk. What else occurred at L.E.? You had said you had another post up? I can't find it. Is it mixed with others? Will you be expecting the same activities at Saw Doctors? I will try down loading a couple of their songs. No point in going if I think they suck. I also was impressed with how you worked the 2 girls at the "cafe". Sorry we didn't get to really talk much. I am trying to get over my AA. Thanks. Also, Alex's talk was good. I currently do not do the online dating, but I may try it out in the future.

Anonymous said...

Hey Quiet Guy... you can find the other Live Earth article here. The reason we picked the Saw Doctors for our next Approach session is because of the friendly and festive atmosphere the band is notorious for creating (did I mention the drunk Irish girls?). Admittedly, I didn't really know much about them when I went to the last show - I was sold quickly. If you have any more questions for us (or just want to let us know how you are doing), you can reach Stephen at or me at It was great meeting you this weekend - keep at it! And why not give the online thing a shot? Seriously dude, drop me an email anytime - I'll be happy to help you out.