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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Why Do Women Give Bad Dating Advice?

Have you ever noticed that one of the WORST places to go for advice on women is OTHER WOMEN? And forget about the ones that are vindictive, I am talking about the good-natured ones.

I first discovered this back in my clueless days. I had been out with a girl I really liked a few times, and I didn't know where I stood with her (of course, this would NEVER happen today - click here to find out why). I must have went to every female friend I had at the time for advice, and got a whole assortment of wonderful information.

"You probably aren't complimenting her enough. Women LOVE that."

"Next time you see her, bring her flowers."

Or my personal favorite, "she is probably confused as to where you stand. You should tell her how you feel about her. Be honest with her."

So I did what I was told - and to say I was shot down is an UNDERSTATEMENT. And the worst part? I went back to my female friends for MORE advice on why I was rejected. I was told that although this wasn't the right girl for me (no shit!), I should keep complimenting women and telling them how I felt about them. When the RIGHT one comes along, she will appreciate it.

Now this would appear to make perfect logical sense, right? And my friends DID truly want the best for me. But unfortunately, dating does not subscribe to the logic business, and it took me a bit of time to realize that this approach was the wrong way to go. Don't make my mistake.

We also have the UNSOLICITED advice from women. I once had a girl (who I happened to like) send me a message on Friendster. I didn't even know she sent the message, because I wasn't using my account back then.

A few days later, our mutual friend who had introduced us (her former college roommate) calls me up and tells me to "be nice and write her back. She has been climbing the walls trying to figure out why you haven't responded to her message." As if this is somehow a bad thing!

While your female friends may have the best of intentions when giving you advice on other women, the fact of the matter is that many women just don't KNOW what they want (they only know what they THINK they want). They tell you they are looking for a nice guy, but then end up dating a jerk. They say they like flowers and compliments from guys they just met, but they lose attraction for you if you give it to them. Heh? What? Exactly.

Despite what women may tell you, they are looking for a guy that is confident, has self-control, a sense of humor and is mysterious (i.e. a CHALLENGE). Stay tuned for articles on each of these in the near future.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

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