E-Harmony: Time's Worst Site of 2007 [article/video]

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

In a recent article by Time.com, eHarmony has been listed as one of the worst sites of 2007.

It is bad enough that some guys and girls are already disappointed by their dating prospects, but now a site exists that rejects people as "unmatchable". This group of 'rejects' includes homosexuals and people with depression. Check out this video from one of MY favorite sites, Chemistry.com:


And as for those that DO manage to make the cut after filling out that 436 question survey, eHarmony's advice to those that have been given terrible matches (this site does not allow you to search - rather, they send YOU a list of 'matches') is to 'stick it out.' Of course, the longer you 'stick it out', the more you pay (hey Beavis... he said 'stick it out'... hehehehe).

Stick to a site which allows you to craft an OUTSTANDING profile or let us help you out.

Also listed on Time.com's five worst websites:
2. Evite.com: I don't mind this one. In fact, I kinda like it. As for the extensive advertising, let's remember that this site is FREE and very USEFUL.
3. Meez.com: Don't know this one. Perhaps that's just my age showing ;)
4. Myspace: Put aside for a moment what I said about advertising on Evite, this site has gone WAY over the edge. And to make matters worse, we now have a constant barrage of spammers and 'Russian strippers' asking to be our friends. Stick to Facebook.
5. Secondlife.com: Another site I know nothing about, but based on Time's write-up, it looks kinda lame. If you have a different opinion, I'd love to hear it.

We have our vote in for www.onlinedatingedge.com as best site of the year for 2007/2008. Help us out will you... favorite us on technorati.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

The Games Women Play... [video]

Know why guys are so far behind women when it comes to social development? Here's why:



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Family Guy Gets Kicked in the Nuts [video]

Yes, we're going off topic, but here's some comic relief for a Friday afternoon. Enjoy!



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Dating: When Should I Get Engaged, and How? [video]

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hey guys. I can't believe I am actually writing in to a website with a question. I needed an "outside" opinion and you 2 are about as outside as it gets. Am I ready for marriage and if I am how should I propose?
Tom D., Miami, FL

********MY COMMENTS********
Heh? What?

You really gave us a lot to go on, dude. How would we know if you're ready? Only YOU know if you are ready or not. Some say that since you are asking, you are not ready. I don't necessarily agree with that since you brought up engagement scenarios. In my humble and nonprofessional opinion, that makes it seem like the answer is, "yes, I'm ready, but nervous."

Ask yourself a few questions:

1. Do you "know" and are happy with the person you are in a relationship with?
2. Are you emotionally secure with your past? In other words, have you "moved on" from past relationships, both good and bad?
3. Do you know how to compromise and are you READY to compromise? Marriage is about give and take.
4. Are you prepared to be honest and share your life with this person? Further, have you been totally honest to this point? We take marriage seriously and hope you will as well.
5. When you look at her, can you envision spending the rest of your life with her?
6. Do the two of you have a common plan for the future - i.e. children, travel, priorities?
7. Are you yourself stable, unrelated to her (financially, emotionally, career-wise, etc.)?

As for engagement scenarios, the sky's the limit. But make sure you do something that is special, memorable, and meaningful to HER. Let's face it, it should be one of the happiest days of your life, but for MOST it means more to the woman (stereotypical?).

Just promise us one thing. DON'T be a tool and pop the question at a crowded venue such as a sports arena (unless there is some sort of sentimental reason for it, i.e. you met there). Not only is this scenario embarrassing and cheesy, but it is also selfish on your part. Remember, this moment is all about HER.

And for those of you who think that popping the question in a public place will guarantee you a 'yes', think again. Check out THIS jackass...



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Online Dating: What to Do if She Doesn't Write You Back

Got a dating question? Write to us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com.

I am happy to say that the Boston seminar was a HUGE success. About 40 guys came out to hear our presentation on women and dating. Stephen gave a speech entitled, 'How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love a Conversation', followed by my presentation entitled 'Ok, She Sent Me a Message. Now What?', in which I showed everyone how to get from a first contact with a woman to a first meeting. Stay tuned to the blog for future articles on the specific topics we covered.

Today's article stems from a question I received during the Q&A portion of my presentation. One of the side effects of getting really good at this stuff is that you hit a point where it is not physically possible to write back all the women you are going to be hearing from (and I'm just talking about the ones you actually WANT to write back!). This is what they call in life a 'good problem'. But a problem nonetheless.

I was then asked if this same rationale applies to women that don't write guys back. Now the guy who asked me this has been in situations where he was too busy to write certain women back (poor bastard, I know), and was hoping that if a woman did not write HIM back, he could try and reconnect by sending another email.

********MY COMMENTS********

NO.

Well, you can (and should) try, as you have nothing to lose. But don't hold your breath.

One of the big topics I spoke about was a woman's interest level in a guy. My point was that if a woman has moderate to low interest level in you, then you should get rid of her immediately and move on to friendlier waters. This is another reason why you should be dating multiple women simultaneously until you find 'the one'. Yes, she is doing it too.

Let's look at this rationally. If a woman is really into a guy, is she going to write him back? Uhh... yeah. But if she is unsure about someone and something better comes up, is that guy going to be a priority for her? Not at all.

So here's what you do. Send a quick, one line email:
"What, playing hard to get already? Nice! Talk to me..." Then see what happens.

From my own experience, I will usually (about 2/3 of the time) get a response. Generally something along the lines of "sorry, I was busy". But I can also tell you that I have NEVER actually made it to a date with any of these women. They are either TRULY too busy to meet people, have low to moderate interest level or are just flaky.

In my opinion, try sending the quick email if you wish, but focus on the ones that actually write you back.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - All rights reserved
Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Some Fun and Inexpensive Date Ideas

Here's a good look at 20 dates for under $20. Who said you need to spend a lot of money to have fun? Just remember that there is a difference between inexpensive and cheap. Happy Dating!

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - OnlineDating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Seven Keys to Creating a Captivating Online Dating Profile

For more information about our services, including online dating profile rewrites and critiques, as well as live approach workshops, click here.

Let’s face it. The substance and presentation of your internet dating profile is single-handedly going to make or break your success online. In order to get noticed by women amid the sea of chodes in the online dating world, you are going to have to stand out. In fact, a sharp and witty profile is so COVETED by women on these sites, that they will actually be contacting YOU.

Here are seven keys to creating a captivating online profile:

1. Your photos: This is the FIRST place she is going to look. Make sure you have a lead picture which makes you look your best. Use hotornot.com to test out your photos.

2. Proper grammar and spelling: Now granted, the rules here are a little different, as this is not a professional journal or an English exam. However, there is absolutely no excuse for ANY spelling errors, missing punctuation or improper word forms (i.e. complement instead of compliment, there vs. they’re, etc.). At the very least, spell-check your profile and have a friend proofread it before it is published.

3. Avoid meaningless adjectives: Don’t SAY that you are funny, smart or adventurous - SHOW that you are. Tell a funny story, mention what you like to do for fun around town, or talk about that time you went rafting in Switzerland.

4. NO CLICHES: It is already assumed that you enjoy both going out and staying in, that you love to laugh and that you are seeking your ‘partner in crime’. Avoid these phrases like the plague. In fact, these sayings have become so overused that even MAKING FUN of them in your profile has become a cliche of its own.

5. Use the passive tone: Instead of just spewing out facts, write your profile as if you are talking directly to the person that is reading it. Instead of saying ‘the person I am looking for is smart, sexy, etc.’, try something along the lines of, “you are happy, compassionate and reflexively kind...”

6. No negativity or pessimistic language: Your life sucks? Keep it to yourself. The online dating world is not a sounding board for you to gripe about the world. No matter what your situation is in life, there is ALWAYS a way to put a positive spin on things.

7. Brevity is KEY: Ronald Reagan once said that if you cannot write about something in one page or less, then you don’t understand it. The same rules apply for online dating. Having an excessively long profile is going to scare off potential readers, even if your information happens to be good. Remember, give a woman a GLIMPSE into your world, without giving away too much of the plot.

At Approach Dynamics, our goal is to help you present yourself in your best light. Remember, first impressions are EVERYTHING, and having a creative, well-written profile will help you stand out from the crowd - a MUST for success in the online dating world.

We offer a number of different services for online dating, including email and phone consultations to answer any of your individual questions, a detailed critique of your existing online profile, or if you wish, we will write you a new one from scratch (with an emphasis on making sure it sounds like YOU). We look forward to working with you.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Approach Dynamics / Online Dating Edge

How NOT to Touch Women [video]

A while ago, we wrote an article on the Power of a Light Touch on the Arm when approaching a women. Well, there is a RIGHT way and a WRONG way to touch a women.

Here is a video of Andy Dick on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, showing us what can happen when you touch a woman the wrong way. Kudos to Ivanka Trump for keeping her cool while being felt up by Mr. Dick (I can't think of a more appropriate name for this dude).



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Live Earth - The Forgotten Post

By popular request, here is the synopsis of a few of our approaches from the Live Earth Concert at Giants Stadium. As a reminder, Approach Dynamics will be conducting another Live Approach Training at the Saw Doctors concert on Saturday, August 11, 2007 at Irving Plaza in Manhattan. Seats are filling up FAST, so if you want in, click here and sign up.

1. Upon moving towards our seats, I noticed a row of 4 girls sitting by themselves. Showtime! I moved in with "The Jackal" and "Iggy" and quickly things were progressing. They all happened to graduate a year ago from "The Dalton School" (Reverse Gold Digger?) and are currently attending Indiana University. Conversation flowed well, and after a little banter, we went on listening to the music and talking amongst ourselves. They quickly clamored for more attention. Props to "The Jackal" and "Iggy" for their good work!

2. About 3 hours after the debacle with the "rude girl", Jackal made another attempt. He moved in on a different girl in the set, who looked like someone had shot her dog.
"Come on, lets have some fun!" he said jovially.
NO RESPONSE...
(Playing dumb and having fun) "Are you ok?"
"She's fine," said the blocker (biatch 1)
"I'm ok," the girl promptly responded.
Another blocker, a bony, weird looking guy in a V neck t-shirt said in a hostile voice picking a fight, "hey where's your ticket, dick?"
The Jackal: "In my pocket, I'm sure you'd like to get it."

Then Jackal turned to the target with a smile and said, "sorry everyone here is so angry... try and have some fun."
As he returned, Jackal shook his head and said, "Wow, what a sad bunch."

No truer words had been spoken!

3. After our foray into the college scene, I proceeded to move in on a more mature woman. A lovely 30 year old lawyer from NJ. She approached me about how much she loved my kissing penguins shirt. PEACOCKING at an environmental venue! :) She started getting all cerebral with me about carbon emissions, global warming, and electricity generation. Good thing I have multiple degrees in related fields! She was smitten. She asked if she could give me her email so that maybe we could get together.

4. Upon leaving the show, I noticed a girl on top of a 3 to 4 foot high divider, which was separating buses that were heading back to Manhattan from a huge crowd of concertgoers. She was looking around and yelling out to people she went to the show with.

"What's going on at the front of the line 'Girl On Top'?" I asked her.

She smiled while loving the attention and we proceeded to have some friendly double-entendre laden conversation.

The Jackal then climbed up onto the divider with the 'Girl on Top' for a little bit, while I ran interference with her other girlfriends down below. As we got on the buses, Jackal asked for and received the golden digits. Once again, well done my young apprentice!

Lessons learned here? It's all about having fun. Don't worry about the outcomes of any particular interaction, "IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER". Oh yeah, and fruity-looking guys in v-neck t-shirts like hanging out with bizatches.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Approach Dynamics / Online Dating Edge

Man Lives With 100 Sex Dolls [video]

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com



Update on the Boston Seminar:
We are all set for our seminar with the Boston Lair this Saturday, July 21. Stephen will be giving an approach presentation entitled ‘How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love a Conversation', while I will be speaking on internet dating. Specifically, I am going to be focusing on what to do from the time of your first ‘connection' with a woman online, until the first time you meet in person.

We are also expecting an appearance from the ‘Boston Mauler', who has vowed to expose himself to all of us (see the comments section of our article, ‘Dating: Take Her to Ikea').

If you are in the Boston area and would like to attend, or would like more information on joining the Boston Lair, drop us an email at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com and we'll set you up with the Lair guys.
********


Now why is it SO important to learn how to interact with women? So you don't end up like THIS guy...



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / ApproachDynamics

Debate '08: Obama Girl vs Giuliani Girl [video]

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

Regardless of your political beliefs, Barak Obama and Rudy Giuliani have apparently done something right. They have created an image that makes women dance in the streets after them! Here is "Debate '08: Obama Girl vs Giuliani Girl" the video.



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Accidental Porn: My Favorite City [image]

Over 2000 sizes!



For a confused look, tell them the guys from Online Dating Edge sent ya...

Photo by Alexander Stone - Copyright 2007
Box City, Marina Del Rey, CA

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

How NOT to Handle the Dating Personals [Video]

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

Here is how NOT to act when placing a personal ad. Enjoy!


Video from SelectedHilarity.com - Courtesy of YouTube

I think we have found a perfect match for that girl from the Live Earth Concert.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Video: The First Date - Does Your Car Matter?

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

Is the type of car that you drive going to have any influence on whether or not your first date will be successful?

In an attempt to answer that question, some interns from cars.com went around the streets of downtown Chicago asking women how they would react if a guy showed up for a first date driving different types of cars. Here are the results:


Video courtesy of YouTube

Now let's remember, these women are being put on the spot in front of a camera on a busy street. Given these circumstances, it is no surprise that their answers pretty much mirrored society's stereotypical views on those cars.

In reality, the type of car that you drive is NOT going to have very much of an influence on the success of your date (or at least it BETTER not, or you have trouble on your hands). Then again, in New York City, the mere fact that I HAVE a car puts me at the head of the pack.

However, you can be assured that the CONDITION of your car WILL be a factor. Before picking up a woman, make sure your car is clean - both inside and outside. Get rid of any stupid ornaments, such as fuzzy dice or goofy bumper stickers. If your car has any visible body damage (and you don't have a kick-ass story as to how it got there), you might want to consider taking another car.

But that being said, you should STILL never give a direct answer if a woman throws you a shit test by asking you what kind of car you drive. I like to tell them I drive a converted ice cream truck.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Video: First Date - A Tribute to Every Video Site

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

Here is a really funny video put out by Pandasmash, which looks at how each of the other video sites (Youtube, iFilm, AtomFilms, Jibjab, etc.) would conduct a 'First Date'. Ironically, Pandasmash did not have an embedding code on their page, and I had to get this from YouTube. Hmm.



Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - Online Dating Edge / Approach Dynamics

Online Dating: Dr. Keith Ablow

Got a dating question? Email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com

I’m currently working with a few clients down in Florida (Ormond Beach, Daytona Beach, and Miami) and thought I finally had a few moments to relax. No such luck! I sat down after hitting the beach and flicked on the television and found a program on internet dating. There goes relaxation! I grabbed a pen and started taking notes...

The show was called ‘Dr. Keith Ablow’. Apparently the host is a doctor of some sort, although I’m not quite sure of what. I’ve never heard of the guy before, but then again, I don’t get to watch much daytime television. It’s a talk show much like Dr. Phil, except this Ablow guy isn’t Oprah’s bitch, and there were no alien sightings or guys deathly afraid of PEACHES, a la Maury Povich. Check out THIS nutjob...



The Dr. Keith episode was entitled, “Can You Find Love Online, or NOT?” Here’s a brief rundown:

1. A girl and guy (approx 30 to 35 years old) were interviewed about their lack of success with online dating. Apparently the girl found the guy online and based upon his profile she set up a date with him (really a first meeting) and had a camera follow them on the date. She strolled into a café with her dog and acted like a total biatch herself! (WOW! Two mistakes right off the bat!) On her behalf, the guy also lied about his height (3 inches I think) and his photo was at least a year or two old. These two could have REALLY used our help.

2. Another gentleman was carted onto the stage where his lack of success was also discussed. Well, I suppose lack of success is how you define it. He has dated over 700 women in the New York City area (poor bastard, I KNOW), but unfortunately has not found love. Then again, he never outwardly said that he was in fact looking for love. He seemed quite proud of his accomplishments, and was chided by the audience about having a spreadsheet entry for each woman he has dated.

The use of a spreadsheet is in actuality a FANTASTIC idea. This helps keep one organized and allows for easy access and editing. This is an especially useful tool for those of you that are serial daters, are looking for multiple long term relationships (MLTRs), or wish to maintain backup booty calls. Note: we DO NOT encourage lying or being a jerk- but if that’s your thing, a spreadsheet is a must! Stay tuned for a future article on how (and why) you should date multiple people.

3. Next up were an older man and younger woman, who met on sugardaddyforme.com. They are currently married and she discussed how the relationship started off as a typical sugardaddy/sugarbaby relationship but evolved into love. Now, I have a hard time swallowing that, but who am I to judge? If being a sugardaddy is your thing go for it, if not read our articles on “How to Spot a Gold Digger.” According to the woman, what attracted her to his profile was his screen name (GRUMPYOLDMAN). The lesson learned here is to be creative or seek help.

4. Another happily married couple who met online was then brought onto the stage (NOTE: The wife had previously dated the guy with the spreadsheet! Small world…) One interesting comment was made by the husband. He said he had been using online dating for only a couple of months when he met his soon to be wife, but the hardest thing for him was going home after a date to emails from five new women. Remember, KNOW what you are looking for, don’t settle, and when you find it, don’t keep looking for the bigger better deal.

5. Finally, a couple of ‘experts’ were brought on and they stressed the importance of date coaching. One of whom was Virginia Vitzthum, author of 'I Love You, Let’s Meet' (NOTE - It sounded good on the show, but I haven’t read it).

Think of this way. If you have never been to a gym before, or you have been going but are not getting the results you want, you seek out the help of a personal trainer or coach to assist you. Online dating is no different - and that’s where we come in.

We are available for all you dating needs: profile critique, profile writing, photo selection, screen names, and long term coaching to answer any and all you dating related questions check out or services page or email us at Dating@ApproachDynamics.com.

Alexander Stone & Stephen David
Copyright 2007 - OnlineDating Edge / Approach Dynamics